sucks to be me Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 It feels like I have been falling out of love with my husband for a while now. We got into a fight and he said something unforgivable. I feel like all the love has been sucked out of me. I keep staring at one of my favorite engagement pictures. It's like we have freaking hearts shining our of our eyes. We're did we go?
Eggplant Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Would you provide some more details? Do you remember when it started? What disagreements or events have taken part? Are you physically intimate? Is he or are you verbally abusive?
jf2good Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Nothing is unforgivable unless you choose not to forgive. That being said no one deserves verbal abuse, it is as harmful as physical abuse over time. You can choose to fall out of love and into love, but it takes actions on both your parts. Did you all take love for granted and stopped working at it? Romance doesn't happen without work. One of the bad things about being married is when women let their bodies go after they get their man and don't dress like they did before, and men who stop all the romance like flowers, gifts, etc to get the woman's attention in the first place. Then arguments or whatever leads to one member to deny sex as a way to get revenge or whatever they want in a relationship and then they wake up one day and say where did the love go.
dejame Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I believe that if you loved the person once, unless there is some sort of real abuse, you can find that love again. Marriage is different than the courtship phase because we "settle down" and become comfortable. We aren't hunting and gathering like we did when we dated. Our thoughts turn to our careers, paying the bills, and running the household. We are focused on daily living and aren't focused intently on the relationship. Start complimenting your partner on things they do well. Make a big deal when they walk in the door. Suggest a date night. Give goodwill and it will be reciprocated with time. Do the things they appreciate. Someone has to be the one to jump start the return of good feelings. It may take a little while, but they should respond to loving treatment. ... Make the effort to rekindle or face the possibility of the relationship failing. ..... It's a choice you can decide to do or not do.
dejame Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Usually, women don't refuse sex to "get revenge". They stop feeling loving towards their partner and simply don't feel like having sex with someone they are upset with at the time. If you went to work and for whatever reason are upset with your company or your boss because of something they did, do you still work as hard that day or until you resolve your anger? Do you do your job more out of a sense of duty because you are being paid? Not the greatest analogy because you get paid for work, but I think you can see what I am saying.
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