Kat_luv Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 My first kiss,date,boyfriend, people are surprised but I wanted to wait for a nice guy and the right one, im 19. Our relationship was great, instant connection, and ive never open up easily to anyone so quickly. At times I felt like he cared more about me,wanted to get seriois before I did and even said I love you first. I thought we were going to last, when he was on vacation for 2 months with his family I flew up for a week to visit them and everything was perfect, he said they loved me. We did a lot for each other and hes told me things he wouldnt with anyone else. Now is where things fell apart. With family issues he couldnt come back and he had to move back with his family. I never wanted distance but he said that we'll make it and nothing will change. He ended up spending his last weekend with me and I lost my virginity to him. A week after moving back up there he avoided me and I knew something was wrong because he would be the one to call me everyday even if it was just to say goodnight. He told me he was sorry and the distance is too hard that our timing wasnt right and hung up. I sent back the necklace he got me with a note, then called a week after for answers. He told me distance was the only reason, he did love me, but he said he didnt know if he loved me currently. He said to forget about him and move on. His sister said hes been drinking and partying everynight and is acting like an ass, she told me that he said hes over the break up. How can he be over it so fast, it only happened a few Weeks ago. The only time I ever contacted him during the break up he sounds so cold and like a totally different person.
Author Kat_luv Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 He said first he wanted a break but didnt know for how long and I was the one that said it was either we were together or we're not. He also said that it would just be a few months until he can save enough money to move back dowb but it felt like empty promises. If I did NC for a while or take some time would it catch up to him later? He said he wouldnt be able to find anyone better than me. Also his friends were the one that wanted us to take a break.
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I don't know if I'd wanna be with someone who's friends wanted him to breakup with me and so he did. Where's the love at in that? NC might work..but it's usually done not to heal a relationship just you...
316 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Ok this is my last post for the night then I'm going to bed... *cracks knuckles* He said first he wanted a break but didnt know for how long and I was the one that said it was either we were together or we're not. Perfect response. Maintain that attitude with him. There's no such thing as a "break." He's either with you or he's not. When people ask for a "break" they're really asking this "is it okay if I can date/hook up with other people while leaving your heart on a string? I'll come back when I'm ready... Whether it's a month, a year, or most likely never." It's bull **** isn't it? He also said that it would just be a few months until he can save enough money to move back dowb but it felt like empty promises. Yup he's just giving you more false hope and spewing more bull ****. Don't let him play with your emotions. You deserve better than that. If I did NC for a while or take some time would it catch up to him later? He wants the single life so you need to give it to him. If you stick to NC long enough he MIGHT want you back but from what you've told us it sounds unlikely. The fact that he has moved on so quickly shows that he mentally checked out of the relationship a long time ago. It would be best for you to move on as soon as possible. He said he wouldnt be able to find anyone better than me. More bull **** to give you false hope. Lets use common sense here if he couldn't find anyone better than you then why would he move on from the relationship? Wouldn't he do anything in his power to make things work? I hope it's becoming clear to you now that he's just trying to keep you around as an option but I think you've figured it out yourself. Also his friends were the one that wanted us to take a break. HUGE red flag right here. If this is true then he values what his friends think more-so than what you think. He chose them over you. What kind of lover is that? A crappy one that's what. He values the party scene over your feelings and the relationship. Kick this guy to the curb, go NC, and let him realize what he has lost. Getting over the BU will be hard but you can do it. Please stay NC and post on these forums whenever you feel lonely or whenever you feel like contacting him.
slant Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 In several ways my story is similar to yours. She was my first everything. I had a crush on this girl for about 8 months before we finally got together for real. It all started when I was 22. I'm 24 now. We had an amazing time together during the three months we had and quickly fell in love. Towards the end of that we spent literally every night together for several weeks. Then I had to move away and it became long distance. We hung on for over six months and saw each other three times in that span, but it came to an end a week ago. The only advice I can give you besides going NC, is that there had to be things you didn't like about him. Just try to think about how the next person you meet will be better. For me, she just started distancing herself more and more and putting everyone else in her life first before me. Yes I look back and think about the amazing times we had together and it makes me sad, but I know that those times are gone. I'm realizing I can find that again with someone else.
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