TRD12 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Hey guys, so I've been dating this girl for a couple years. Long story short recently for a few months I started taking her for granted, acting disinterested in her a lot of the time. Well she got sick of it and not wanting to lose her I snapped out of it. Now the tables have turned. Recently she is taking a bit more interest (more so than when we used to really "click") in her friends, other activities, etc, than me. Definitely feel like #2 a lot of the time. I feel myself starting to try to get her attention more, hoping for her to look at me like she used to, etc. Not good. Sometimes I feel like I want to "talk" about it and force the issue, but I don't want to look desperate and create an issue. So, what are some practical things I can do to get her attention back to us without appearing desperate?
Bito Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Welcome to love shack. Unfortunetly there is nothing you can do when someone looses interest in a relationship. When you try to do more you only push them away. The best thing to do is be happy around her. That said I would emotionaly prepare for her to leave.
Yamcha Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 You absolutely should talk about it. But be ready to hear things that you may know deep down, but don't want to hear.
ja123 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Plan a nice date. Act as though you're courting her.
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Hey guys, so I've been dating this girl for a couple years. Long story short recently for a few months I started taking her for granted, acting disinterested in her a lot of the time. Well she got sick of it and not wanting to lose her I snapped out of it. Now the tables have turned. Recently she is taking a bit more interest (more so than when we used to really "click") in her friends, other activities, etc, than me. Definitely feel like #2 a lot of the time. I feel myself starting to try to get her attention more, hoping for her to look at me like she used to, etc. Not good. Sometimes I feel like I want to "talk" about it and force the issue, but I don't want to look desperate and create an issue. So, what are some practical things I can do to get her attention back to us without appearing desperate? I'd talk to her to see where she stands. Talking in itself is not desperate.
Author TRD12 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 She hasn't been feeling well recently. I've been taking care of her and she appreciates it but there is something off. She still says "I love you" and what not, but today before she left for work she gave me a quick hug and backed off, no kiss, just an awkward moment of "I don't want to kiss you but I know I probably should." I didn't say anything about it and played it cool but that's not normal at all. I may be over-analyzing little things now because I'm paranoid but text conversations are odd too; she'll text me and I'll reply, but she only acknowledges some of my replies. Definitely a sense that she's slowly detaching. It sucks. It's tough to be happy and go about everything with a smile when you just want to ask, "Do you love me? Then prove it!" I guess the fact that I'm even thinking that speaks volumes. Loving someone that may not feel the same makes me never want to date anyone, ever. It's ridiculous. You absolutely should talk about it. But be ready to hear things that you may know deep down, but don't want to hear. I would like to talk about it but I don't want to force the issue. I think I'll wait and see if a good opportunity presents itself. Plan a nice date. Act as though you're courting her. Good idea. I'll try to set something up. I'd talk to her to see where she stands. Talking in itself is not desperate. You're right, but recently she's been very sensitive to any kind of relationship talk with me, almost as if I'm inconveniencing her by bringing that stuff up.
pbjbear Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 She may have lost interest after you started taking her for granted and figured she better not have high hopes for you. Ive seen this happen with some of my friends once they have been dating someone for years and he takes them for granted... Really, dont smother her and time will tell. It sucks I know
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 ...recently she's been very sensitive to any kind of relationship talk with me, almost as if I'm inconveniencing her by bringing that stuff up. Unfortunately, not a very promising sign. 1
todreaminblue Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Hey guys, so I've been dating this girl for a couple years. Long story short recently for a few months I started taking her for granted, acting disinterested in her a lot of the time. Well she got sick of it and not wanting to lose her I snapped out of it. Now the tables have turned. Recently she is taking a bit more interest (more so than when we used to really "click") in her friends, other activities, etc, than me. Definitely feel like #2 a lot of the time. I feel myself starting to try to get her attention more, hoping for her to look at me like she used to, etc. Not good. Sometimes I feel like I want to "talk" about it and force the issue, but I don't want to look desperate and create an issue. So, what are some practical things I can do to get her attention back to us without appearing desperate? It is human nature to take forgranted the little things in life,happens to absolutely everyone, comes with maturity and world weariness.....notice children can be amused by the smallest things, with and as adults we have seen and done it too much and we forget the simple joy of experience and the pleasure in simplicity...as god intended us to ..."be as children are" end quote.. when you are familiar with someone they become smaller,not larger than life when you are in the honeymonn phase,,,,so start appreciating the little things in her and about her, tell her them, go out into the world and take her places you love and remember why you love them , then maybe she will fidn a spark that she remembers how you made her melt in the first place....thsi works...trust me.....not lying..sounds really simple....often the truth is just that.be a big kid.....it rocks..best wishes....deb
KraftDinner Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 almost as if I'm inconveniencing her by bringing that stuff up. Unfortunately this is a very bad sign. But all the more reason to talk. What are you more concerned about: saving your relationship, or not looking "desperate"? Time to put the pride aside. You said you had been acting disinterested and taking her for granted but that you snapped out of it. Sometimes this causes lasting damage and deciding to shape up ends up doing nothing as it's too late -- the hurt doesn't just go away because you decide it should. 1
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