alacantra Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 So my ex girlfriend of 3 years and I broke up in mid-November, the primary reason being a lack of money on my part. We're both in our mid-20s. I'd started my own business the year earlier and things didn't go well. She supported me unwaveringly throughout that whole time, but after I graduated and started looking for a fulltime job, she decided to end it. The day after (literally the day after) we broke up, I got a job in my industry, my situation turned around, I had money coming in again after so long, and I got my life back on track. We started seeing each other, going to dinner occasionally, having drinks, going to the movies etc. It was always great and she'd always give me a kiss on the lips at the end of the night. Texting, emailing one another at work, things seemed to be going well. At one point I told her I couldn't handle it and went NC for about two weeks. She contacted me and we organised to see one another again. We did so on New Years day, and just hung out in a park we used to go to, lying with her head on my lap. We had a huge argument the next day when I wanted to know what was going on, and she ended up crying and telling me she didn't know what she wanted. The next week, we had lunch, went to the movies, all was great. Texting, talking etc. The day after my birthday, she called me up from her work party and angrily accused me of being a hypocrite, saying we shouldn't talk anymore. Turns out she was upset about some photos of my birthday that appeared on facebook. Nothing inappropriate, just me with some girls she doesn't really like. She said she was upset to see me out and about and seeing all these changes in my life that happened after we broke up. She calmed down, and we agreed to see one another and take our dog (lives with her now) for a walk. She said that night that it 'hurts to see all these things and not be a part of it'. Anyway, meeting up the next week to walk the dog, an hour before I leave it comes up on Facebook: "X is in a relationship with Y". I go over and ask her what's going on, she says that she works with him, she met him on New Year's and they decided to make it official at their work party (the day she called to get angry about the photos). He's 7 years older than her, he's a full time student and she told me he's a manager and 'he's got his head screwed on' and that she'd kept talking to me because up until recently she didn't know that 'it was real'. I told her that I won't be seeing her anymore and she seemed bewildered. 'What about the dog? You don't want to walk her with me anymore?' etc Anyway, I said goodbye and haven't spoken to her since. A mutual friend of ours told me that since we broke up back in November, she talks about me all the time, and that this new relationship came out of nowhere. He apparently still lives at home and my ex lied about him being a manager. She said that it's moving surprisingly fast and that this guy is ridiculously keen and eager to move forward. What's the deal? I don't intend to break NC, but a little insight as to what might be going on in her head would be helpful.
Chi townD Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 She had this dude in the works for a while. The time when she said "she didn't know what she wanted" is translation for there's someone else in the picture as well as you. She didn't know if she wanted you or the decade older guy that still lives at home. She was keeping an eye on you and all she needed was ONE excuse to cut you loose. And the opportunity was innocent pics of your birthday where she saw some girls that she didn't like. Look, continue to make self improvements. Travel! Get outta here. Go somewhere warm standing on the beach with a beer in one hand and a seniorita in the other. Wearing a straw hat! She may be talking about you and wanting to know whats going on in your life. But, when push came to shove, you were her second choice. And you deserve better than that.
SendHope Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 She was just using you as an emotional crutch until she was certain that she had something going on with the "manager." I'm sorry that this happened. Even without making sense of it all, it's a fact that she is in a relationship. That's pretty much all you need to know. Maintain NC and heal.
Author alacantra Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 The thing I find the strangest is that she wanted to keep seeing me once a week to walk the dog? She could've just let me take her myself, or just flat out said no. Why commit to seeing your ex once a week if you're in a fresh relationship?
destroyed4sho Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 The thing I find the strangest is that she wanted to keep seeing me once a week to walk the dog? She could've just let me take her myself, or just flat out said no. Why commit to seeing your ex once a week if you're in a fresh relationship? Goodness, she dumps you for someone else and wants you to walk her every week too? Sounds like she is selfish and wants to friendzone you.
Chi townD Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Yep! I agree! She wanted you in the friend zone. You know, no hard feelings, but I gonna go get laid by this guy now. So, lets walk the dog and I can tell you all my problems! You are a really good friend you know!
LostOne1 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 kinda reminds me of my ex and how she acted.. same stuff... It's weird, but man it happens. I was in a bad spot too and I am only slowly getting better with my life "kinda" getting back on track. It's tough.. but hang in there man. It's time to move on and start a new chapter in your life now.
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