Cuse3NC44 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Ok so I had a first coffee date with someone this past Saturday I meet online, it went well and we both said we’d like to see each other again. I called her Monday evening but got her VM and left a message. She did not call back but I received a text message later in the evening after I was asleep that she had been on the phone with family and apologized for missing my call and was glad that I did call. I sent a text back this morning once I saw it and we exchanged a couple of texts. The main purpose of my call Monday night was to setup a possible 2nd date for this coming weekend. Based on what she told me she was dealing with on her call last night – it didn’t seem appropriate to ask her via text and I don’t usually like asking a woman out over text anyways. Ok so here is the dilemma – should I call her again tonight? I want to be respectful of her time with her children so I don’t call her until after 9 but I also don’t want her to feel like I’m being overbearing since we just went out on Saturday, I tried to call last night and we communicated via text today. The other side is I want to give her enough notice if she wants to see each other this weekend to setup her sitter. Probably over thinking this but just wanted to bounce it off others and see if it makes sense. Any help appreciated.
outsidethebox Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 My opinion when she let you know she was tied up when you tried to reach her and sorry you couldn't get hold of her then that means she is waiting for you to reach her again.
Keenly Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 If she liked the call the first time, she will like it a second time.
SJC2008 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Hard call to make, no pun intended! IMO this is where balance comes into play with me. You called and she texted saying she was sorry she missed your call. Cool, she let you she knows you called but given you reached out to her would it of killed her to say call me toinght so we can tall or what about her RETURNING the call WITH a call??
outsidethebox Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 That would be too sensible, and then we wouldn't need dating discussion sites to figure it out. 3
Author Cuse3NC44 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 Thanks guys...in her defense she didn't respond until late...after 11pm so I'm assuming that's why she sent text. Doesn't mean she couldn't have called this AM or told me a good time to call her since she has to get 2 kids off to school and mine are older. But at this point it's too early in my opinion to worry about who calls who...I'm perfectly comfortable being the pursuer...just don't want to appear "desperate" because I'm not.
outsidethebox Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 good luck with second date. sounds promising.
ja123 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 It's probably too late now, but my response would be to call on Wednesday night. So, did you call her tonight, btw? If so, what was her response?
Author Cuse3NC44 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Hey ja123 - I did decide to wait until tonight. My thought was that if she wanted to go out again it wouldn't really matter when I called. I'm just trying to avoid the "I need a date" sentiment (because I don't) by calling too often...too early. I do agree with others opinion on here but decided to err on the less is more side. We have only talked on the phone once (for about an hour) and had a great conversation over coffee that same week. If we had gone out a few times already I'd feel differently. As luck would have it though - she reached out to me late last night and 2nd date is set for this weekend. Like I said in my original post...sometimes I think we over think these things. Thanks again to all that answered - definitely needed to get out of my own head.
apple OR orange Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) i dont have good vibes about this.... Waiting till she feels ok makes you a "nice guy" and we know how that tends to turn out, my personal feeling is you should have another on the go so you dont get locked in this situation your in now, "when should i call". If she really wanted to see you she would have issued that over text knowing you called, generally speaking you don’t "agree" to a second date, you both want it so are hot to get to the next date. Personally i think she’s waiting for you to slowly disappear, but that’s my view. Edited February 20, 2013 by apple OR orange
Author Cuse3NC44 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Hey A&O - Totally agree with you - I'm not looking to end up in the friend zone. In this case though she is as interested as I am - not looking for me to go away.
JennaMax Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 yes, i think you're over thinking it. Best thing to be is straight to the point and ask her for a second date. Otherwise, she may get the impression you're not interested anymore.
outsidethebox Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 second date is already set up now, Jenna. Glad she reached out, Cuse. Sounds like many more to come.
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