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When do guys just begin to think about marriage when in a serious relationship?

Beachbabe9109

By Beachbabe9109
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Beachbabe9109 Member

Beachbabe9109

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I'm not talking about it as in, he has a ring picked out and everything.

Just when does a guy in a serious relationship begin to toy with the idea of marriage?

You know, he's driving to work and just begins to picture what it'd be like, etc.

Just a poll. I know it's different for everyone, but just wondering.

Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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Just like you said it is different for everyone.

 

Enough time should pass where the guy feels absolutely at ease with her, but you also have to consider the number of guys who don't want marriage and are fine with just a long term relationship.

pbjbear Established Member

pbjbear

Posted
Posted (edited)

Most men dont seriously entertain the idea of marriage...they pretend they want it when really they want the benefits of having a wife without the commitment part so they wont be tied down and can create a quick exit when they get bored of you or find someone else

 

For the few that do I hear its when all their friends get married or maybe after 1-3 years of dating

Edited by pbjbear
StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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It didn't happen to me until I turned 35. Now I wonder what it would be like to be married to every girl I see.

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Casablanca Established Member

Casablanca

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I dunno, I think once I am in love with them the idea pops in my head...maybe right before I realize it as I'm trying to determine how much I like/love them and I try and picture us getting married...I'm sure I'm the minority in this one though

soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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I dunno, I think once I am in love with them the idea pops in my head...maybe right before I realize it as I'm trying to determine how much I like/love them and I try and picture us getting married...I'm sure I'm the minority in this one though

 

I used to be this way until recently. This sounds pretty natural and reasonable to me...

blindotter Established Member

blindotter

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Never, I don't believe in marriage, it gives me the willies. Tax consequences, o hai.

 

I've been married and divorced, and my partner has asked a few times...I give him random, far off dates. "Maybe in 2020, 2030, who knows." I am excruciatingly unconventional, with regard to marriage, though. I have nothing against other people doing it, though.

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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When we look at her and truly do want to share our lives with her.

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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It is kind of like going to grad school. Noone walks onto a campus and decides they want to get a PhD... they decide to get a PhD... THEN they find the campus that is right for them.

 

It is no different with men. If you are looking to be in a committed relationship that will lead to marriage, don't waste your time with men who aren't actively looking for the same.

 

Doesn't necessarily mean it will be YOU... but it doesn't take forever to figure out. If he is looking to settle down, you will know within a year or so if things are compatible enough.

 

If not, then ditch him and move on. The sooner the better. I dumped the guy I was just dating recently after just four months. Before him, I dated a guy for a year and ended things that weren't proceeding in that direction.

 

You may have the chance to remain civil if you break things off early. If you wait until you can't stand each other or he monkey-branches to someone else, it won't feel good.

 

Edited to add: When women say they don't ever want to get married, I believe them. When men say it, I think it is total BS. What they are saying is that they don't want to marry YOU... but they are happy to string you along until someone comes along they do want to marry. See that movie "He's just not that into you". Sums it up perfectly.

Edited by RedRobin
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Beachbabe9109 Member

Beachbabe9109

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It is kind of like going to grad school. Noone walks onto a campus and decides they want to get a PhD... they decide to get a PhD... THEN they find the campus that is right for them.

 

It is no different with men. If you are looking to be in a committed relationship that will lead to marriage, don't waste your time with men who aren't actively looking for the same.

 

Doesn't necessarily mean it will be YOU... but it doesn't take forever to figure out. If he is looking to settle down, you will know within a year or so if things are compatible enough.

 

If not, then ditch him and move on. The sooner the better. I dumped the guy I was just dating recently after just four months. Before him, I dated a guy for a year and ended things that weren't proceeding in that direction.

 

You may have the chance to remain civil if you break things off early. If you wait until you can't stand each other or he monkey-branches to someone else, it won't feel good.

 

Edited to add: When women say they don't ever want to get married, I believe them. When men say it, I think it is total BS. What they are saying is that they don't want to marry YOU... but they are happy to string you along until someone comes along they do want to marry. See that movie "He's just not that into you". Sums it up perfectly.

 

I wasn't wondering if he wants to get married, I know that he does.

I was just wondering about when guys generally start to picture it with the woman they're with.

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
Posted
I wasn't wondering if he wants to get married, I know that he does.

I was just wondering about when guys generally start to picture it with the woman they're with.

 

If they weren't thinking about getting married to 'someone' before he met her... probably never....

 

If they were looking or open to marriage when they started dating... most are within 1-3 years... I agree with the earlier posters.

Clockwork Established Member

Clockwork

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I was 26 and met my wife who was 22. I liked her from the word "go". Two weeks in after going out to dinner and before I dropped her off at home I just came out and said that I believe she is the one I will be with for a long, long time. I expected her to freak out, but instead she was happy and agreed with me. So yeah, two weeks in I was sure I was going to marry her and I did. Believe me, guys think about it when it is the right girl. They think about it as much as girls do when it is the right one.

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

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I have no idea.

 

 

:laugh:

I have always wondered this myself.

My boyfriend brought up marriage in the first few weeks, not US persay, but marriage itself. He is 31, so I guess he is at that point. He does talk about future plans a LOT with me, including kids, so I am guessing it is something he has already thought about. :o

ChessPieceFace Established Member

ChessPieceFace

Posted
Posted
Most men dont seriously entertain the idea of marriage...they pretend they want it when really they want the benefits of having a wife without the commitment part so they wont be tied down and can create a quick exit when they get bored of you or find someone else

 

For the few that do I hear its when all their friends get married or maybe after 1-3 years of dating

 

Oh god. More male-bashing with no bearing on reality. Almost all my male friends are married, I always assumed I'd be married, the only reason I DON'T want to be married is that I don't want to have my life wrecked. Where are these "majority of guys" that fit your horribly negative notions about men? Guys who hit on you in bars? AGAIN maybe THAT'S your problem.

SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

Posted
Posted
Most men dont seriously entertain the idea of marriage...they pretend they want it when really they want the benefits of having a wife without the commitment part so they wont be tied down and can create a quick exit when they get bored of you or find someone else

 

For the few that do I hear its when all their friends get married or maybe after 1-3 years of dating

 

PJ bear the reason you think all men are the same is becuase you meet the same men. I know you've dated alphas/nice guys and while they may have different personality traits and seem different, they have the same CORE traits of selfish jerks, so they're the same men. I'm the same way with women, I seem to meet controlling women. Some are funny and some are serious. So while I think I've dated "different" types of women, I haven't, they're all controlling. So does this mean all women are controling? Of course not, it means I gotta do a better job filtering. So think about it from that angle. I'm not trying to judge you or anything just trying to give you a different perspective since we seem to have the same problem, except you can get dates way easier than I can lol.

  • Like 2
apple OR orange Established Member

apple OR orange

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i dont think about it, like planning what to do when you win the lottery, that never happens either.

musemaj11 Established Member

musemaj11

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People are as loyal as their options.

 

The less his options are the quicker he thinks about marriage. LOL

Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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Posted
People are as loyal as their options.

 

The less his options are the quicker he thinks about marriage. LOL

 

Thanks for your opinion.

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