Krieger Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I am giving up dating , friends , family , tv, Xbox ,drinking, partying, sports, working out , meeting new people, sleep , sex, going out , and every thing I once enjoyed for the next two years to get a real job and work on my self. I am going all in and have to get it in order or I will be broke for the rest of my life. I am 29 and turing 30 this year and I feel like I've failed in terms of what my potential is. Anyway I decided to go back to college a 2nd time .My job is OK but it a dead end job and it is nothing I am passion at about doing forever. Retail sucks and I do not like it at all so it was time to do something new. Working night crew for the rest of my life is no fun and there no wear to go in retail.My job just does not pay well like $18 an hour will not feed a family even working full time. That being said I am still going to work full time and have been taking class at a community college and get my PRE-NURSING Associate of Applied Science Degree and then transfer over to a four year college to get my Bachelor of Science in Nursing. I do how ever have a backup plan if things do not work out and that is to become a physical therapist assistant is my next option. I have been working 40 hours a week and going to college for over a year or so and still have always to go . Just started going full time college and taking 3 classes . It is starting to get to me now geting old and not being wear I want to be in life. This is the year I need to step it up and give it my all and make it happen. I still might have a year or so to go. It would be nice to date but a girl will just get in the way of me reaching my goals . On top of that 18 -20 hour days 7 days a week are starting to get to me as we'll but sleep is for suckers . I only get 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night I know it is not good but I do not care . The adderall helps but I had to cut back it stop working lol. The desire to feel like i am not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself, but it helps. i want to be successful more then any thing so I gave up every thing to get it. It is time to make the rest of my life the best of my life. My biggest worry is I never find a GF and I am not as experienced when it comes to dating . I have been on dates and kinda dated some but nothing long term. I can ask a girl out and talk to girls no problem. I have had sex before but she was a FWB nothing serious . I just do not want to be in my early 30s and not having had a long term relationship before . On the other hand I rather have a job I love and feel like I am doing some thing with my life . Any advice on how to make it through without breaking down? I am going to see a therapist about a few problems I have .
ls32ssibm Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I am giving up dating , friends , family , tv, Xbox ,drinking, partying, sports, working out , meeting new people, sleep , sex, going out , and every thing I once enjoyed for the next two years to get a real job and work on my self. I strongly suggest you don't give up the things I've emboldened. Counterproductive when it comes to bettering yourself, which is the ultimate goal. 3
outsidethebox Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 agreed with above. Also don't expect any sympathy while you're in all those nursing classes with coed's. Should we have it that bad. Also you need to work on your English major league to being it up to college level. Self study in English spelling will do for a start. Don't pooh pooh my suggestion. If you're serious about education you need to be able to spell. The lingo you will get in nursing will blow your mind. You will need to step it up a couple of levels. Hard work.
Ross MwcFan Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I don't see why you have to give up everything that gives you joy in life in order to improve yourself. Surely being depressed as a result of this wont help? Also, there's no reason to feel like such a loser because you're not some high flyer. This seems more of a self esteem issue. Maybe you should carry on doing the things you enjoy, and work on your self esteem instead? You only get one life, why waste it by not having fun? 1
outsidethebox Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 He wants to work on being able to improve his income to support a family. What's hard to understand about that?
Author Krieger Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 agreed with above. Also don't expect any sympathy while you're in all those nursing classes with coed's. Should we have it that bad. Also you need to work on your English major league to being it up to college level. Self study in English spelling will do for a start. Don't pooh pooh my suggestion. If you're serious about education you need to be able to spell. The lingo you will get in nursing will blow your mind. You will need to step it up a couple of levels. Hard work. Yea spelling is not my strong suit but been working on gave up tv for books . I got work to do and the deck is stacked against me it is not going to stop me. 1
clia Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I am giving up dating , friends , family , tv, Xbox ,drinking, partying, sports, working out , meeting new people, sleep , sex, going out , and every thing I once enjoyed for the next two years to get a real job and work on my self. This sounds a little excessive, and rather depressing. I don't think giving up everything that is enjoyable in life is the answer to your problems. It's completely possible to work and go to school and still have an enjoyable life and be able to do fun things. While you may have to cut back on some of the above, you don't have to cut back on all of it. Is there some reason why you feel you need to be so extreme? 1
Author Krieger Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 This sounds a little excessive, and rather depressing. I don't think giving up everything that is enjoyable in life is the answer to your problems. It's completely possible to work and go to school and still have an enjoyable life and be able to do fun things. While you may have to cut back on some of the above, you don't have to cut back on all of it. Is there some reason why you feel you need to be so extreme? I have to work harder then the next person. So I have to give stuff up in order to make it . I am not the smartest but I will out work anyone by showing up, geting all the help I can , putting more work and time in when studying. If I get up at 3 am Saturday and start studying I can take a nap once I am done.
Author Krieger Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 I am giving up dating , friends , family , tv, Xbox ,drinking, partying, sports, working out , meeting new people, sleep , sex, going out , and every thing I once enjoyed for the next two years to get a real job and work on my self. I strongly suggest you don't give up the things I've emboldened. Counterproductive when it comes to bettering yourself, which is the ultimate goal. It is not that easy my friends well let's say became a cancer in my life so I really do not have any good friends right now. As far as family goes there not really that supportive some times but they try . Sleep it is for people that are broke. I would like to workout but I do not have the time right now.
Ross MwcFan Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 He wants to work on being able to improve his income to support a family. What's hard to understand about that? I understand that.
Ross MwcFan Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 It is not that easy my friends well let's say became a cancer in my life so I really do not have any good friends right now. As far as family goes there not really that supportive some times but they try . Sleep it is for people that are broke. I would like to workout but I do not have the time right now. Sleep is for being able to function cognitively normally. Not having enough isn't good for you.
StanMusial Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 You're spending time on a college campus, so there is bound to be some single, hot, young cuties there. Have you been scouting it out at all?
Author Krieger Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 Sleep is for being able to function cognitively normally. Not having enough isn't good for you. It is over rated you only need 4-6 hours. I wish I could sleep more then that. I know People that sleep 8-10 hours I can not bring my self to do that . People spend 1/3 of there life sleeping that is time I can use to study.
Author Krieger Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 You're spending time on a college campus, so there is bound to be some single, hot, young cuties there. Have you been scouting it out at all? Yes and no . I do talk to girls on campus but I need to be dialed in 100 % in my studying so dating is off the table for now only looking for friends for now.
outsidethebox Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 There are average girls too. Anyway he is around a bunch of young single women, and friendships that develop from that shared experience is better than random dating anyway. 1
ChessPieceFace Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 It's good that you are pursuing your dreams. You seem to have an overly negative view of things though. Everyone needs leisure time, figure out how to have yours. Eventually your schooling will be done. I'm 7 years older than you and have a degree but haven't worked like you're working, so don't feel behind.
Author Krieger Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 It's good that you are pursuing your dreams. You seem to have an overly negative view of things though. Everyone needs leisure time, figure out how to have yours. Eventually your schooling will be done. I'm 7 years older than you and have a degree but haven't worked like you're working, so don't feel behind. Yea I know but Turning 30 this year is making me work even harder to get it done. The 4 or so hours of sleep is my leisure time lol. I want to be done with school so I can date a girl and have time for her.
outsidethebox Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 You will need power naps as well with 4 hours. 6 hours is better. I had to recently adjust from 4 to 6 hours because I was pushing myself too hard and couldn't stay awake. IMO you are drawing an unnecessary line with Dating. You are on a campus with people. Dating is just spending time with someone. Sitting and having a talk with someone is like a coffee date, only way better than trying to arrange with a stranger to see if it works in the sense you are already semi-acquainted with your classmate or someone you met on campus. Just don't make such a big deal about it and be friendly and meet people. That's all I think anyone would want to accomplish with dating. Not that I know that much about it, but have been in your situation.
Author Krieger Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 You will need power naps as well with 4 hours. 6 hours is better. I had to recently adjust from 4 to 6 hours because I was pushing myself too hard and couldn't stay awake. IMO you are drawing an unnecessary line with Dating. You are on a campus with people. Dating is just spending time with someone. Sitting and having a talk with someone is like a coffee date, only way better than trying to arrange with a stranger to see if it works in the sense you are already semi-acquainted with your classmate or someone you met on campus. Just don't make such a big deal about it and be friendly and meet people. That's all I think anyone would want to accomplish with dating. Not that I know that much about it, but have been in your situation. I try to get a nap in between things. I am just trying to make friends and meet people. I am very hard on myself as you can see so I been coming up with reachable goals and not trying to do too much all at once.
Lani Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Giving up everything at once is setting you up for failure. Take it easy, work your way up to study being the main thing in your life. But you know what, life is what happens when you're busy making plans. Take it as it comes, and don't refuse opportunities that come up in the meantime because you're too focused on one thing. I do agree with you getting rid of your friends if they are crappy. You'll make new ones. I do not agree with you giving up working out. A one hour workout is 4% of your day, and the benefits you will receive from it far outweigh anything else you could do with that time. Exercise will keep you going when things get tough, trust me!
Author Krieger Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 OP, the responses about your relationship stuff are all nice, but if you really want to have a family and want to make good decisions, check out this website: OCCUPY STUDENT DEBT Unfortunately, there are not many jobs out there (even for new nurses). Most people are racking up debt these days that they can't pay off (and I mean hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt). They end up in the same positions they were in before going to school, except now they have the debt. I'm not saying don't go to school. I'm saying do A LOT of research and BE CAREFUL! I now now days you have to do a lot of research . I need to do something working retail until i am 105 years old is not an option . I would need to much meds to deal living with cats. It is kinda hard to feel sorry for people that major in gender study's or philosophy to name a few you cant really get a job in that field other then to teach it. I could just go for being a Physical therapist assistant but the pay not that great 25-30 and hour it still will not enough to feed a family IMO . not that the money is all to important but it is a factor.
ja123 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 OP, I see a lot of rigid, all or nothing thinking in your posts. This is concerning. Have you discussed this with your therapist? Also you posted http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/373031-lack-sleep-making-me-depressed, but never responded. You really do need to get some sleep, sweetie.
Author Krieger Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 OP, I see a lot of rigid, all or nothing thinking in your posts. This is concerning. Have you discussed this with your therapist? Also you posted http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/373031-lack-sleep-making-me-depressed, but never responded. You really do need to get some sleep, sweetie. I am going to bring it up to my therapist along with other things . It is a all or nothing year for me I want to get a lot done this year. I have to push my self to my limits. I just worry that a girl will not want to ever date me if I do not have a good job and things going for me. I been trying to get more sleep but it is hard. thanks for the help.
ja123 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 It's good that you'll bring that topic up with your therapist. Does he/she know how little sleep you are getting and that you're taking adderall? All or nothing thing can contribute to depression, as will too little sleep. Perhaps you can learn some cognitive-behavioural techniques to help re-frame your thoughts.
johnnyk Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 It sounds like you need some real, substantial social support. Don't give up the people in your life that will provide that. I don't know what kind of emotional or mental state you are in, but if you're experiencing loneliness and depression, the last thing you should be doing is isolating yourself, even if your state of mind is drawing you towards closing yourself off. I had a roommate back in college who became really depressed and she couldn't function in school. The insomnia was just one of many problems she had. She dropped out and never finished her studies. As good as it is to set goals for yourself, if you don't take care of your emotional and mental well being, you will fail in your goals.
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