destroyed4sho Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 (edited) I wondering if anyone feels like I do. I feel like my ex checked out of the relationship more than a year ago because her attitude started to change. For example, more fights, raging, more distant, less talking on the phone and text messages that were answered hours later or days later. Not a lot of sex...once a month. All the while, she still said she loved me and all that good stuff. So I just thought is was a mood thing. Now, in hindsight, and reading about breakups, i feel like she had checked out of the relationship a loooong time ago, before I even knew that anything was wrong. I am ANGRY at this, that she used me and my time so until she was "okay" with the breakup and to buffer the pain of the breakup as she was separating herself from me emotionally and physically. I find this deceitful because she used my time, without letting me know what she was up to. She acted like everything was okay and didn't do a damn thing to talk about our issues or problems, even when I begged her to. When she broke up with me so coldly over text, it was a TOTAL shock, and the pain tremendous. She was over me already! I still hold a lot of anger because it isn't fair that she had me during her grieving stages - someone that loved her and a crutch. When she dumped me, I was just kicked in the gut and out of her life so coldly to deal with my grieving stages on my own. Does anyone feel like this too.... And please I don't want to hear how painful it is for the dumper bc they cant admit to themselves they are fallign out of love... etc...lets just stop with BS. I never saw a tear from her......okay? Edited February 19, 2013 by destroyed4sho 4
calgary Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I was the dumper.. because I felt the distance and she found it acceptable to flirt with others but I feel like she maybe checked out of the relationship a while before I did this. as in the end I was heartbroken and she called the break up mutual.. told me she doesn't want a relationship right now. so I can relate to what you're saying only I became the dumper because I got the impression this was going on!
Chi townD Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Yep! Welcome to the club!! It sucks. SHe's already moving on with her life and everything seems like they're coming up roses while you're a big blubbering pile of goo. And they can't understand why we can't be friends? Time to heal and move on. You have every right to be angry. But, don't let that anger define you. You can raise above it and realize that you do have self worth and you don't need to be around people that would treat you like that. Karma is going to catch up to her one day. But, you're going to survive this and come out a better dude because of it.
TheBladeRunner Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Wow, your story is almost identical to mine. Same type of behavior about a year before the "bomb dropped". The only real difference is that at least you had sex once a month.......I was lucky if it was 4 times a year . When it come to underhanded stuff that they do, the offending party will ALWAYS take care of themselves first. 1
newsbug Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I do feel that way. About two weeks before the break up I had this gut feeling something was wrong. He wasn't texting in the morning or as much as he had. But he was also working a lot...or so I told myself. He supposedly worked four weeks without a day off, but now I think he was hanging out with her and getting to know her. Fluffing up his safe place to land. I asked him over and over if things were okay and he would say things were great and he was sorry if he seemed distant, it was just work and he was stressed. I had to believe him...who wouldn't be stressed over working so much? And it makes me more mad because I think the distance is what put a crack in us and made him feel like talking to that girl to start with, but he's the one that left for work. I had nothing to do with it. So yeah...he lied to me over and over and dangled his feelings for me by a string just to make sure he had a nice place to land before jumping. 1
cdt76 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Amen!!!!!!!!!! I think Chris brown said it best: take that bi$$@!!!!!
Mack05 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 (edited) This is how many girls (poor communicators) tend to check out. Yeah it sucks but it's been like this since the beginning of time. Edited February 19, 2013 by Mack05
Author destroyed4sho Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 Amen!!!!!!!!!! I think Chris brown said it best: take that bi$$@!!!!! haha right on... next time she throws me a breadcrumb, imma throw something in her eye......my FIST. (I really wouldn't do that, but I can always fantasize!! :-)) 1
adelia Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Reading your post I can sense the hurt you're feeling. I'm sorry she did this to you. Hugz That is a cold thing to do. It's better to be upfront and let the other person deal with things without getting the rug pulled out from under them. Sounds like you're better off in the end. 1
LostGirl11 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 This has happend to me in the past. They've had their finger on the trigger for a long time, but they've only just pulled it. But guess what? You dodged the bullet 1
cdt76 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 haha right on... next time she throws me a breadcrumb, imma throw something in her eye......my FIST. (I really wouldn't do that, but I can always fantasize!! :-)) Sorry. Sometimes these posts are so serious that a little humor helps. I laughed when I wrote it and I haven't laughed in two weeks! 2
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