egalew Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I got an e-mail, though very, very short, from my exMM Sunday morning. It went to an e-mail address that I rarely check and it came from a work e-mail he never used with me before, making me think he might have gone back to the ex-wife and she was monitoring his activity. Essentially the e-mail pointed out an error in a blog piece I wrote and complimented me on my writing and several recent pieces I wrote. I never responded and never will. This is the third e-mail since his form letter break up exactly one week before X-mas. My therapist suggested this is his way of looking like a "nice guy," and to "crawl under my skin," to make sure I never forget about him. And on some level she is right. That one little e-mail got my head running, wanting, wishing. I can't engage on any level with him, or will be pulled in on some way. It makes me sad and resentful at the same time.
TaraMaiden Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 *"Yoo-Hoo! Notice me!! here I am!! Over here!!:bunny: I'm contacting you in a different way, because I want to still be on your horizon, within your peripheral vision!"* I think your therapist is great!! 1
Author egalew Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 She is great. She's been amazingly supportive and has great insights.
veryhappy Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Argh...so selfish of him. Yes, it's his twisted way of making himself look not so bad and probably feeling like he's helping you. Amazing, right? I got a stupid cryptic email for my birthday and it set me back. I was looking forward to 3 full months of complete NC, and didn't get there. He won't help, so you only have yourself to stay away and know that time will help. I'm looking forward to being over him one day.
Author egalew Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 Cute, so true. And, if anyone would ever ask, they would say, "Yea, we ended on good terms. The thing just ran it's course.....We swap e-mails occasionally. She's a great person, but......." Which is what he said about the wife and other people. When he sent the "form letter break up e-mail, he said: "I'm not angry, or mad...." Why should he be? If he was really a nice guy, he'd write a letter of amends for what he did, but that will never happen.
Author egalew Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 p.s. If he really wants to help, he should send me money. I'll take cash or check. I'm not fussy.
whichwayisup Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 It went to an e-mail address that I rarely check Block and delete him or just get rid of that email address that you barely use. If you don't, then you will hear from him on occasion through that email account. Problem can go away if you really never want to hear from him again.
veryhappy Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 When he sent the "form letter break up e-mail, he said: "I'm not angry, or mad...." Why should he be? Mine's equivalent was "I have no ill feelings". That puzzled me. Why would he have any ill feelings? Just because I was the one close to losing my mind? I understand his wife having ill feelings if she found out, but I've been great to him to the cost of myself( lesson learned). It's the beauty of the affairs. They keep giving. You think you're better and then there's a stepback. It's normal.
veryhappy Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Block and delete him or just get rid of that email address that you barely use. If you don't, then you will hear from him on occasion through that email account. Problem can go away if you really never want to hear from him again. If they don't start sending regular letters like promises' exMM. Who knows...maybe there's a trend starting. Oh I remembered...cheating men are lazy. No danger.
Author egalew Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 Which - It's a little tricky. The account is business related. He will always be able to find it. As soon as he's involved with someone else, hopefully I'll be history.
TaraMaiden Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 You need to send in anonymous requests and schytt on his parade with "I'll get by without you" songs.....
TurningTables Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Last Oct, I was about 3 months out of NC after D-Day, til I started noticing a pattern, my ex mm (who is in radio) would play me first & last song on his radio show. Then shortly after I noticed cryptic messages on his wife's twitter started to pop up but most were responses to posts on my twitter. Then I would tweet something only him and I knew while he was at work alone on saturdays & he would play a song as a response, songs him & I had together. I put an end to it all by finally emailing her a couple weeks ago. She denied it was him or her tweeting & apologized for my confusion (weird). I even sent her the screenshots of her own Twitter. She said she was busy at work and it seemed she could've cared less. The cryptic tweets have since stopped, but the songs still go on. Please save the lectures, I haven't tweeted in over a week but I still do check the playlist. I always notice when I disappear the songs get sappier lol. He did tell me in the beginning to promise him we'd always talk no matter how things turned out between us. So is playing songs and tweeting on his wife's twitter his way of "always talking?" Thanks but no thanks. That would be going from crumbs of his time, to morsels. I'll pass. I agree with TM: Send him this song: Here's a quarter, Call someone who cares! LOL
TurningTables Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I got an e-mail, though very, very short, from my exMM Sunday morning. It went to an e-mail address that I rarely check and it came from a work e-mail he never used with me before, making me think he might have gone back to the ex-wife and she was monitoring his activity. Essentially the e-mail pointed out an error in a blog piece I wrote and complimented me on my writing and several recent pieces I wrote. I never responded and never will. This is the third e-mail since his form letter break up exactly one week before X-mas. My therapist suggested this is his way of looking like a "nice guy," and to "crawl under my skin," to make sure I never forget about him. And on some level she is right. That one little e-mail got my head running, wanting, wishing. I can't engage on any level with him, or will be pulled in on some way. It makes me sad and resentful at the same time. Egalew: They ALL want to walk away smelling like a rose and they ALL hope we (OW) have fond feelings for them always. Its just like the A: its an illusion and they are living in fantasy land. Delete the email account if you can and put it behind you. You dont need him anymore. Congrats on keeping the NC. I know its hard! Keep telling yourself you deserve better!
Author egalew Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 When together, the imagine the ex-MM like to project was "I was the poor single mom, damsel in distress," and he, the well-off, intellectual was he rescuing me, like some wet dog wandering the street. Well, the "damsel in distress," has a good job in one of the best firms in her industry, is self-made, did it on her own. (I think I make more than him, in fact.) Meanwhile, the well-off intellectual married the wife for the money and doesn't have two nickels to rub together, and is terrified of being on his own. When I think of our interactions together, and in the after e-mails, they were patronizing. He created this little image in his head to make himself feel better.
TaraMaiden Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I have to say, dated as it sounds, I love one - it has certain Class..... (Sorry 'bout the advert at the beginning, but hang on ....)
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