BarbecueMan666 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 How did you guys go about doing it? - My ex modeled, was a runner up at miss Oregon USA, and was all round acknowledged as a very attractive woman. That along with the "love" aspect made her the most beautiful woman ever. I'm finding it hard to topple that image, and the idea of me finding someone whom I could think equally of in just the visual department alone I'm finding pretty hard.
Chi townD Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Personally, I found that girls that have modeled, is modeling or have been models are royal pains in the ass! Their vain, cocky, stubborn and bat sh*t crazy for the most part. They're good looking and they know it. Use it to their advanage. They tend to be more materialistic and don't appreicate what they have unless it has a top designers name on it. And it takes them FOREVER to go anywhere. It's a 2 hours ordeal just to go to the supermarket because they have to do their hair and make-up...blah....blah.... Sometimes we're attracted to the wrong type. Personally, I love a cute girl with the "girl next door" looks and qualities. That she is beautiful on the inside and out, but doesn't realize or believes it. That she would be absolutely stunning in a dress if you have to go to a black tie affair and cute as a button just being in jeans a sweat shirt, wearing a baseball cap with a ponytail out the back. Maybe it's just time for you to make a change. 4
TaraMaiden Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Do you know her mother? Does your ex- have to work at maintaining her looks and physique? I hate to sound preachy, but Buddhist monks from some traditions are made to meditate in Charnel grounds, and amongst the physically deformed and sick, to drive home the fact that all appearances are merely skin-deep. Underneath it all, we're all veins, bands of muscle, teeth, tendons, guts, and gizzards. Visualise her old, frail, bad-tempered and incontinent. It comes to us all. What counts is 'who' you are, not 'what you look like'..... 4
cdt76 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I know exactly what your feeling. My ex was offered a shoot for playboy. I was addicted. It's like the best drug you could ever have. And finding it again seems impossible. After my first breakup after divorce my goal was to find someone hotter. And I did. I out kicked my coverage you might say. I'm hoping to find someone who has all the qualities I want and she actually cares about me too. It's that last part that's the kicker. See for every hot girl out there, there is a dude who is tired of phuucking her!!! )
JamesM Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 My ex modeled, was a runner up at miss Oregon USA, Easy...she was runner up! She is not the most beautiful. Seriously, the best woman for you is not necessarily the most beautiful by the world's standards. This one was not the best match despite her looks. It takes more than looks to make a great and beautiful woman. Besides, you won''t ever have the most beautiful woman...I already married her. 5
TaraMaiden Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Besides, you won''t ever have the most beautiful woman...I already married her. Ah yes.... and what a wedding that was.... I still have my bouquet..... 4
JamesM Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Ah yes.... and what a wedding that was.... I still have my bouquet..... :lmao: Don't give away our secret! 1
Simon Phoenix Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Meh, looks don't last. It's the rest that really makes a person who they are. Not that looks aren't important -- we all want to bang hotties ideally. But a relationship with someone is not equal to banging. There needs to be more than that. In your case, ultimately there wasn't. And that's a good thing, your ex sucked dude. I've read your stories, she was a leech. 1
Author BarbecueMan666 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Thank you again guys - I keep coming to these moments of clarity where I'm pretty certain I'm going to be happy, and everything will be ok. Then all of a sudden I realize at some moments in that relationship my future was so panned out that I didn't/wouldn't have worried about anything. She was a leech, a hot leech. Attractive she was, she was a grand manipulator. I obviously will get to a point where thinking about her will cause me way less pain, and I cannot wait for that. - It's my first real breakup with a girl I truly loved and cared about, to the point I'd put myself second everytime without a shadow of doubt and be very happy about it. In time she realized that and certainly took advantage of my caring and giving attitude. She's almost 27, wants to be famous. That's the bottom line. Could I have helped her get to where she wanted to be ultimately? In her grand scheme of things I guess not. I helped lift her up, and I guess the way she sees it now, the sky's the limit. I helped market her videos and such and did what I could. Bought her clothes and shoes for pageants and helped pay for rent, even bought her furniture for her house in LA. I'm pretty bummed about the amount I spent, but ultimately that's what made us really breakup - the fact I stood up for myself and wouldn't bend over backwards anymore. Really appreciate you guys on this forum, Dunno where I'd be currently without you . 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 :lmao: Don't give away our secret! Actually James, I take nothing away from you. That was an awesome thing to say about your marriage, and I applaud you. 2
sweetkiwi Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Looks are temporary. I have never put much stock into my own and strangely that makes me irresistible to men who are used to the barbie types. I am not a slob but I don't wear much makeup (when I put it on) and now my hair is a natural wavy brown. I think when a woman knows what she has but isn't conceited she is even more sexy. Unfortunately my playboy model friend isn't very pretty without makeup but behaves as though she's the ****. And feels like an insecure little girl. This combo is terrible. 3
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 it's a cliche for a reason: because it's TRUE. 1
calgary Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I know what you're saying I worry too! I find it hard around here to find a girl who hasn't slept with all of my friends and their friends all at the same time and all whilst they were in a relationship with some other poor guy. It's something I really don't like. My ex wasn't like that at all.. and now i'm worried i'm going to find a girl with a lot of previous owners. I suppose in the end that's just in my head and I shouldn't have a problem with it. but I do.
TaraMaiden Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 You know, I've never heard that cliché.....
TaraMaiden Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I know what you're saying I worry too! I find it hard around here to find a girl who hasn't slept with all of my friends and their friends all at the same time and all whilst they were in a relationship with some other poor guy. It's something I really don't like. My ex wasn't like that at all.. and now i'm worried i'm going to find a girl with a lot of previous owners. I suppose in the end that's just in my head and I shouldn't have a problem with it. but I do. Travel. Or Move..... 1
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 cliches are cliches because they are so constantly true!
AlexDP Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 How did you guys go about doing it? - My ex modeled, was a runner up at miss Oregon USA, and was all round acknowledged as a very attractive woman. That along with the "love" aspect made her the most beautiful woman ever. I'm finding it hard to topple that image, and the idea of me finding someone whom I could think equally of in just the visual department alone I'm finding pretty hard. Wouldn't the winner of Miss Oregon USA be better looking? 2
JamesM Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 it's a cliche for a reason: because it's TRUE. You know, I've never heard that cliché..... cliches are cliches because they are so constantly true! Actually, the cliche I heard which makes more sense is...when you date, you should keep your eyes wide open and when you marry you should shut them halfway. In other words, be critical of a potential mate and be forgiving or your actual mate. Actually James, I take nothing away from you. That was an awesome thing to say about your marriage, and I applaud you. Thank you, Tara. It has taken awhile to get here again. It is amazing how a little sex can make a man's attitude improve. Wouldn't the winner of Miss Oregon USA be better looking? My point too! There will always be a better looking woman by someone's standards. And the winner of Oregon may have to stand second to the winner of Michigan, etc. And this year's Miss World winner may look dull next to last year's winner. Beauty truly is in the eyes of the beholder. And a beautiful personality "trumps" outward beauty every time when it comes to a good marriage IMO.
cdt76 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 And not to mention the fact that she basically used you. I was in the same boat. Women like her, they use guys for personal attention, gain, money, etc. etc. And when they feel that the guy can no longer be the unending supply of whatever it is in their life that they need at that moment, they dump and run. Women like her are toxic. And we fall for it because we become addicted to them and think we are something special because she loves us. Well, she doesn't love us. She loves what we do for her. That's all she loves. And that sick feeling I have writing this just proves it's true. In the end, you would take a bullet for her because you are that devoted. In the end, she would be the one pulling the trigger.
destroyed4sho Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 How did you guys go about doing it? - My ex modeled, was a runner up at miss Oregon USA, and was all round acknowledged as a very attractive woman. That along with the "love" aspect made her the most beautiful woman ever. I'm finding it hard to topple that image, and the idea of me finding someone whom I could think equally of in just the visual department alone I'm finding pretty hard. There are tons upon tons of beautiful women out there. She is not the only one.
adelia Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 K im going to say this the nicest way i know how....but youre being shallow. you seem a nice guy and all but youre setting standards that are very high. take a look up top at the advert with the lady. see how one minute shes attractive and then she ages...well we all do! True happiness is finding someone you enjoy being around and trust. someone you know will be with you through thick and thin. do you think miss oregon would stay by your side if you found out you were dying from a brain tumor...im thinking not. what youre looking for is something that will not last and you will keep feeling empty. youre lookkng for like you said a "visual". Attraction is important but if you want true happiness look a bit deeper...
Author BarbecueMan666 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 K im going to say this the nicest way i know how....but youre being shallow. you seem a nice guy and all but youre setting standards that are very high. take a look up top at the advert with the lady. see how one minute shes attractive and then she ages...well we all do! True happiness is finding someone you enjoy being around and trust. someone you know will be with you through thick and thin. do you think miss oregon would stay by your side if you found out you were dying from a brain tumor...im thinking not. what youre looking for is something that will not last and you will keep feeling empty. youre lookkng for like you said a "visual". Attraction is important but if you want true happiness look a bit deeper... I appreciate comments like this. I know it's very odd for me to think like that, and there were far more qualities than just physical appearance that made her whom she was to me. So initially she was very into me, I was her world - it then turned to - I wasn't her world at all anymore, you kind of have to fight for me into - I don't want you anymore. The only analogy I can give is getting someone addicted to heroin, then removing the source as soon as they're 100% hooked. It's been horrendous. Slowly been started to add things together, this was my first very serious relationship, and I've learnt a lot from it. She was older, had multiple partners before me and I guess I was a nice step in the ladder, until I stopped giving her exactly what she wanted. I'm slowly tuning myself to the idea she wasn't all what I cracked her up to be, at all. But despite these sections I'm adding together, and realizing I wouldn't have been as happy as I could have been further down the line (given I truly believe she put on the happy times for the sake of getting things) - but looks are still looks, While yes they aren't everything, it's something I'm finding hard to crumble, as reading into events and realizing her actions were selfish or cruel, I can't read into her looks and realize she wasn't what she was - it's been very hard. Looks are temporary. I have never put much stock into my own and strangely that makes me irresistible to men who are used to the barbie types. I am not a slob but I don't wear much makeup (when I put it on) and now my hair is a natural wavy brown. I think when a woman knows what she has but isn't conceited she is even more sexy. Unfortunately my playboy model friend isn't very pretty without makeup but behaves as though she's the ****. And feels like an insecure little girl. This combo is terrible. Looks indeed are temporary, and that's something she worried about a lot, be it wrinkles, her nose being too big, lips too small what ever. She was very much about spending lots of money to improve what she thought needed improving (I thought her ideas were absurd, and would frequently tell her that). While high up on her looks, she's actually posted videos and pictures without makeup on at all and the feedback has been extremely positive, she was a naturally pretty girl, initially I thought she had the quality "Wow she doesn't know how beautiful she is!" Kind of thing going down. Unfortunately that was down to lack of experience I guess, and her playing her cards very well. I remember taking her to one of my tournaments, the after party happened at a club, and she dressed quite revealingly, back showing, a rip down the middle of her front so you could see her cleavage, and a pretty short skirt. Next morning when getting ready again, she said something along the lines of "I could have taken home any guy there last night" - It offended me at that moment in time, and looking back wow, that was pretty ridiculous. I'm my own worst enemy with this situation, I moved to America and immediately latched onto this woman. I didn't give myself time to well ... get used to myself in this new environment. For 1.5 years she helped me find my feet I suppose, and we planned our life out. Unfortunately for me - looking back again she definitely gave signals as to this not lasting, be it me being worried about spending too much on her, and a quick but sharp reply of "Do you really only spend money on people, who you think you'll spend your whole life with?" - At the time I was like oh that makes sense! I guess I don't really know the future! But in reality wowzer. As for the Miss Oregon comments - She came top 10 last year, didn't make the top 5 - (I was gutted for her, and given my love goggles I thought it was a travesty, also most of the top 5 had recovered from some form of terminal illness, and so it seemed pretty political. The year Prior she came 4th after a month preparation. So while I say a runner up, I use the term loosely. My current housemate was a former Miss Oregon USA - Which is pretty funny and that's how we became acquainted. She always deemed my ex as more beautiful than herself, both naturally and with makeup. I'm just a hopeless romantic that needs to rid it from my brain.
KatZee Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Most beautiful? What year did she runner up in? I'm looking at 2012 runner up's and err... some of these girls are kind of beat. Wipe off the makeup and ehhhhhhhhh.... 2011 is not much better. Yikes. But alas, yes, beauty is only skin deep. Apparently she wasn't great on the personality department, so what's really to miss?
Author BarbecueMan666 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Oh cool, can you link them? - I guess I can't pin point her out to rules and regulations, but she was among the 2011 top 5 finishers I believe, I bought the dress and such she wore. As for personality, that's the weird thing - she was extremely lifting, made me feel I could do anything - when she felt like it, but she could also turn into this Debbie Downer, was a tough time to go through, when things were good, things were good.
KatZee Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Oh cool, can you link them? - I guess I can't pin point her out to rules and regulations, but she was among the 2011 top 5 finishers I believe, I bought the dress and such she wore. As for personality, that's the weird thing - she was extremely lifting, made me feel I could do anything - when she felt like it, but she could also turn into this Debbie Downer, was a tough time to go through, when things were good, things were good. Oh damn. 2011 was the worst of the bunch! Pageant Update - Miss Oregon USA 2011 Top Five #3 and #5 I'd give the OK on... but none of them are super models. You can find attractive normal looking women like them everywhere. 1
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