BarbecueMan666 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 How did you guys go about doing it? - My ex modeled, was a runner up at miss Oregon USA, and was all round acknowledged as a very attractive woman. That along with the "love" aspect made her the most beautiful woman ever. I'm finding it hard to topple that image, and the idea of me finding someone whom I could think equally of in just the visual department alone I'm finding pretty hard.
RogerWallace111 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Basically, just wait, and in time that idea will fade. No matter how beautiful one girl is, there are others of equal beauty. Objectively and in a sense of personal taste. 5 months out of a long term relationship and it's rare that I see a girl who I find as attractive my ex. But theyre out there. Sometimes you just end up with a super fine girl. Say you could quantify it, and she was in the 99th percentile as far as facial beauty. Then yes, the sheer odds of it mean finding another girl of equal beauty will take a while. But that's just somethin youve gotta deal with when you wanna date dimes
LeliiMarie612 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 There are a lot of beautiful people out there, and once your over her you'll begin to realize how beautiful other girls are again. 1
aed Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 There is no such thing as the most beautiful woman ever.... when you think that, you still have your ex on a pedelstal and you look at her through 'love fog'. like the movie 500 days of summer. He didn't even she how she was 80% of the time. he was she consumed by his image of her and the relationship, that he didn't or didn't want to see what was truely going on. 1
worldgonewrong Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 How did you guys go about doing it? - My ex modeled, was a runner up at miss Oregon USA, and was all round acknowledged as a very attractive woman. That along with the "love" aspect made her the most beautiful woman ever. I'm finding it hard to topple that image, and the idea of me finding someone whom I could think equally of in just the visual department alone I'm finding pretty hard. Imagine her with a crippling bout of diarrhea. That should fix it. 3
Amelie1980 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Looks aren't everything. In fact entering herself in beauty contests...she sounds quite shallow. 3
todreaminblue Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Looks aren't everything. In fact entering herself in beauty contests...she sounds quite shallow. beauty is and always should be inner beauty...media has skewed that perception into external need for validation of beauty......so much so they enter babies into the meat market in baby competitions and ask people to pick the most beautiful baby.....and then toddlers....then children then women....competing for the right to say i am the most beautiful....objectifying females ...sad really...i think they are all beautiful from babies to women...and what i have really detested in the past is hearing gossiping mothers talking about why their baby should have won and listing the winning babies faults one by one.......made me throw up a little bit in my mouth...looks fade........when that happens.....women feel less than they should ......and then sadness when they could have happiness.....deb
Sugarkane Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Well a lot of other people are models too. Is she The only one? One day she will Lose her looks- even harder for a model and female. She can't be that great if she dumped you.
TailSpin75 Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I find myself in a similar position with my STBXW - always saw her as my dreamgirl... she was the most beautiful woman I had ever met. Then I remember that - "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" The more time that goes by the less my mind casts her in that light... 2
Author BarbecueMan666 Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 I make a living off My looks and you should've seen the last guy I dated...he wasn't all that and a bag of chips but I fell in love with other things about him which then made me super physically attracted to him....don't be shallow. Haven't you ever watched those model shows? In time you'll realize models are some of the nuttiest chicks out there. Hehe. Not speaking of myself of course *coughs* lol. Ah, I made another thread in the breakup section after realizing that this thread in particular did make me look a little shallow. My ex and I broke up new years day, It's been incredibly hard and I was going through the "Oh my god, I lost the best thing that could possibly ever happen to me and will never be as happy as I was with her" phase. I don't even mean just looks, when I wrote this thread, I was kind of unraveling the idea of her being the best thing for me piece by piece. So while working on that, and trying to set my mind straight and not have her on this plateau/pedestal - I got to the point where my dreams were intoxicated by her. I'm a good looking guy, 23 years old and successful in my field, but I always battled low self esteem and confidence for reasons I don't really know. I moved to Germany at 20, and my manager's girlfriend made advances towards me, and dumped him in the process. I was shocked and felt so lucky, she was gorgeous, smart, intelligent and I loved her personality and thought it too good to be true - A few months down the line she ended it, and told me so many horrible things why: "You should never be a father, you're ****ed up mentally" "You're ugly" "I don't like your body" The list goes on for a while, needless to say I was left pretty broken. After roughly 4 months of self loathing (that was my first relationship pretty much, we didn't sleep together and I was a virgin.) - After that I kind of let myself go, and went pretty wild for a year. I then realized things were a bit out of hand, moved to America - in that time my friend was dating Miss Oregon USA - and told me he knew girls, and introduced me to one of them. I never had a chance to find myself truly, and I guess I never managed to find my own confidence, I just let others grant me that confidence through them. This relationship lasted 1.5 years, and I was highly infatuated with her. Her talent as an Opera singer, her personality boisterous and perky and her looks. I built everything up in my head, to the point nobody came close, and I guess I was somewhat living the relationship inside my head, rather than how things were, and took the breakup happening pretty hard. So 2 months down the line, here I am . I still think she's magnificent, though cruel, but the dreams and physical image of her was what I was trying to get round. So I apologize for coming across shallow, and as if my ego was hurt, which I guess both are true, but yeah - Was a tough breakup for me.
Steadfast Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Great topic for those of us who lost a beautiful women. Beautiful yes, but I proved to my ex that I loved her for more than her beauty. Sadly, I'm not sure she ever really knew that. Then again, she was preoccupied. Beautiful women are a very tricky thing. Not surprising when you consider all the attention they receive. Harder to deal with is the confusion they portray; my ex always played off her attractiveness to me...denied it or acted like it was no big deal. Yet she never met a mirror she didn't pause in front of, and never left the house unless fully made up. She spent lots of money on it too. I learned her looks didn't mean something, they meant everything. When she got older and felt threatened, the wheels came off. Funny, after the break up my pals (men and women) admitted that while pretty, she wasn't nearly as pretty as I made her out to be. And not nearly as beautiful as the woman I'm with now. Could I have created this monster? Possible, but I refuse to take blame for being a loving husband. Corny, I know, but looks fade. It truly is what's on the inside that counts. 1
Author BarbecueMan666 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Great topic for those of us who lost a beautiful women. Beautiful yes, but I proved to my ex that I loved her for more than her beauty. Sadly, I'm not sure she ever really knew that. Then again, she was preoccupied. Beautiful women are a very tricky thing. Not surprising when you consider all the attention they receive. Harder to deal with is the confusion they portray; my ex always played off her attractiveness to me...denied it or acted like it was no big deal. Yet she never met a mirror she didn't pause in front of, and never left the house unless fully made up. She spent lots of money on it too. I learned her looks didn't mean something, they meant everything. When she got older and felt threatened, the wheels came off. Funny, after the break up my pals (men and women) admitted that while pretty, she wasn't nearly as pretty as I made her out to be. And not nearly as beautiful as the woman I'm with now. Could I have created this monster? Possible, but I refuse to take blame for being a loving husband. Corny, I know, but looks fade. It truly is what's on the inside that counts. Yeah, you pretty much just described my relationship and the aftermath. My ex loved attention, absolutely loved it, thrived on it in fact. She's 26 almost 27, studying to be an opera singer over at a grad school in LA - She's very good, but also makes youtube videos in her spare time. She used to be pretty darn famous in the youtube world, maybe 6 years or so back but fell off due to her BF at the time thinking it was stupid, and she went back to school. Since then she's always looked at youtube stars of now adays and been very jealous, to the point she's been miserable for weeks on end about it. The looking at mirrors thing she also did a hell of a lot most of the time admiring herself, but on occasion she'd look at mirrors say how big her nose was, or how terrible her skin looked, or how fat she was when in honesty, I thought she was to die for. As you said, looks meant so much to your ex, and quite honestly I didn't quite understand during the relationship just how much they meant to mine. She's not getting younger, she's in competition with younger girls every day entering the fray and yeah, a tough life for a woman who's "gift" is technically slipping away I suppose. During the relationship I was very happy - but I was definitely living in the idea of her, rather than the actual her. Looks aside - she started to get more miserable and distant towards the end of the relationship, and I was still dreaming about the great relationship we had a while back, and thought that premise was strong enough to hold us together. What I've learnt is - if feelings change, they change. Doesn't matter if you have cool memories, they're just that, memories. Since the relationship ending - I've had pretty decent support from the family and friends, all have disclosed to me they didn't really like my ex in the first place, after 1.5 years of being together, and my image of her being beautiful and great as a person maybe isn't as accurate as I thought it was. Yes still very much a looker, and very much so capable of capturing my heart within an instant she was, I was wrapped up in the idea of her, not the actual her I guess. Still going through the breakup roller coaster - It's pretty tough ^^.
aMguilts Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 the most `beautiful woman ever`? i didn`t know you knew my wife? so it was YOU she left me for?? Grrrrr you aM
coltsfan1 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 the most `beautiful woman ever`? i didn`t know you knew my wife? so it was YOU she left me for?? Grrrrr you aM This was my natural reaction.. We all believe that OUR ladies are the best most gorgeous woman ever. But OP has to meet a woman he feels is as attractive but more beautiful on the inside. From my experience I prefer to date girls that weren't considered as attractive in high school but grew into there looks in college. Those are the best gals, they at times don't truly realize how absolutely stunning they are.
Granin Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 It's ALL in your perception of her man I was recently deeply infatuated (I still am really if you want to check my threads haha) with a girl who I genuinely thought was the most beautiful woman alive. She had the best smile I've ever seen on a human, just seeing her smile made me feel so happy and I couldn't help but smile seeing it myself. Her eyes looked into me, in fact the first thing she said to me felt like she summarised exactly how I felt at the time and just read my soul (I was depressed and unsure with what to do with my life), and her eyes looked into me. So hard to explain haha, she's changed my life actually, for the better Anyway, this'll sound totally weird, but here it is. Whenever we're talking close, I always notice these moustache hairs she gets on the corner of her upper lip. They're actually pretty prominent and my no stretch of objective attractiveness would they be considered part of a good looking woman. Objectively everywhere else she is incredibly gorgeous, I don't think that's disputable (I guess it is but whatever), but that's a pretty off putting thing on a woman I guess. She must shave it or do something, but whenever I've been with her I always notice it. But I don't care at all. I think it's really adorable. How ridiculous is that? Being so infatuated with a girl you think the little tash hairs she gets are made of sunshine and happiness. Give me any other woman in the world and put some noticable moustache hairs on the corner of her upper lip and I'd be pretty put off. But not with her. I still don't care now, I'd snog her face off. It's all in your head. This girl actually friend zoned me on Christmas Eve (hey we both got our hearts trampled all over on a holiday! (yours is worse though I think)) after I messed up our date, and I'm planning on ending the friendship this weekend because I'm finding it tough to deal with. But I've got faith that at some point I will find a girl just as beautiful to me, because I'll just have to fall for someone again and every imperfection they have, no matter how ridiculous, will just add to beauty. As soon as you're over her, you'll think a lot less of her looks. Stay strong mate!
Mcnulty Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 It's about the way they raise their eyebrows when you say something funny or questionable, thwe way they reach out to touch you, hold your hand, the way they smile when you first see them, the way they shake their hair, the way they look at you when they're really listening, the way they guffaw at gross things..it aint about the way their features are assymetrical and perfect, it's about the things you identify and connnect with and how they let you see their vulnerable side...I'm talking about purely external things here, but obviously aside from the above it's the person within that's important...it aint about looks, it's about the aura they have...positive energy and the way they carry themselves...to me anyway.
Granin Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 It's about the way they raise their eyebrows when you say something funny or questionable, thwe way they reach out to touch you, hold your hand, the way they smile when you first see them, the way they shake their hair, the way they look at you when they're really listening, the way they guffaw at gross things..it aint about the way their features are assymetrical and perfect, it's about the things you identify and connnect with and how they let you see their vulnerable side...I'm talking about purely external things here, but obviously aside from the above it's the person within that's important...it aint about looks, it's about the aura they have...positive energy and the way they carry themselves...to me anyway. I agree. It's something ethereal you can't quite put your finger on. Every little tendency they have add up to something that just knocks you over
M30USA Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 How did you guys go about doing it? - My ex modeled, was a runner up at miss Oregon USA, and was all round acknowledged as a very attractive woman. That along with the "love" aspect made her the most beautiful woman ever. I'm finding it hard to topple that image, and the idea of me finding someone whom I could think equally of in just the visual department alone I'm finding pretty hard. Maybe you should change your screenname to just Satan, then you might find a hotter girl.
Granin Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I was on vaca in Seattle with my BF, we were having dinner at a fancy restaurant, he leaned over & pulled out this one hair I always have grow on my chin, I know, very becoming right? At that point I knew if he could do that & not get grossed out, then he loved me...We know how to keep it classy! LoL! It's kind of like the scene in Good Will Hunting when Robin Williams tells Matt Damon that it's all the flaws in your partner that you grow to love, mentioning his wife farts in her sleep, lol. Haha love that film. And exactly! When you're really into someone, the faults don't matter at all, in fact you love them
Recommended Posts