blue_jay_bird Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I'm on the fence about things get better. This should be a up beat post. Because they really do with in the span on 1 to 8 months things get sooo much better. But I see post's about people talking about how its been 2-3 years and they are still not over their ex. Is this what im looking forward too. at lest two more years of how i feel now. After the first shock, tear's, madness. Does it really get better?
H3Drvr Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 (edited) I believe those that are still hung up after years (heck even 6 months!) truly haven't let the break up go. They're still trying to grasp on to air...stalking FB pages, looking at old pics, texts, analyzing the past over and over in their heads. If you don't want to be in this rut forever, you've really, truly, absolutely have to forgive and let go. Something's are just out of our hands so why let it fester within us when we all can be so much more productive letting a dead RS die. Edit: also, people read in to too much when their ex's contact them. "Omg, my ex texted me that she/he had a bowel movement and thought of me while flushing...does this mean they want me back?!?!" NO! It means they texted you some random bullsquat. Lol Edited February 19, 2013 by H3Drvr
mirja Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I'm not really sure, but I think the reason why some people can't let go of their ex's has to do with their personality and/or their willingness to let go. Some people just don't want to let go, or maybe they just can't. For example, my first boyfriend (who was considerably older than me and a bit kooky) still has a picture of me in his wallet and sometimes shows it to people, despite the fact that we've been done and had NC for ten years. (The reason I know about the picture is that my friend bumped into him at Walmart one day and he whipped out my photo and went on and on about how he still doesn't understand why I left him). He is a very extreme case, and it probably has more to do with him having some emotional issues than anything else. Other people, well maybe they just have a hard time letting go of something that was so great. Kind of like how some people have a hard time letting go of loved ones who die. I think it's just a personality thing. People deal with loss in different ways. Some can get over it quickly, some can't. As for me, the love of my life dumped me after two years because he was gay and it took him a while to come to terms with it (came as a huge shock to me at the time, but looking back, there were definitely signs). I was crushed and even thought that there was something wrong with me because I must have turned him gay somehow. But I eventually got over it, realized him being gay had nothing to do with me, and in a year, I really didn't think about him anymore. It's been almost 8 years I think since we broke up, and I generally don't think of him at all unless someone brings him up or I think about some event that we went to (a concert, play, etc). And really I'm glad we broke up, because we really weren't a very good match for each other and had very different priorities.
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