Broke up w/him... He still calls/texts and wants to be with me... Wtd??

[VibrantThang]

Hello. So here's my story (the short version). My now EX bf cheated on me. We were together 8 months. He cheated on me with his ex-gf (or current gf idk, I think he was dating both her and I). He was forced to confess bc she told him she was pregnant. He says he is not sure if it is true, but there is a chance bc he did cheat.

 

Needless to say, this situation left me no choice but to BU w/him. He begged me not to, he begged me to stay and of course I love him but I simply could not stay. He says he just didn't know if he could trust me bc I would go out a lot so therefore he cheated. But I did that bc he constantly left me alone. Still dont think thats an excuse to cheat.

 

Here's my dilemma... Im not sure if this girl is really pregnant or if she's doing this bc she wanted to break us up (bc she knows about me). My ex is calling, texting, pleading, begging, saying he doesnt want her, that Im the one, etc. He is totally admitting his faults and continues to tell me that he loves me and knows I am the one for him. But I know for a FACT that he lied to me during our entire relationship. I keep telling him that this is beyond my reach bc this girl could be pregnant. Still he keeps reaching for me. Idk wtd... Why is he still reaching for me?

 

Yesterday he broke NC after three days and apologized again saying he cant stop thinking about me. I havent responded yet but idk wtd. What if the girl really isnt pregnant? Why is he telling me he wants to be with me even after he cheated on me in the worst way??

[mammasita]

He sounds like a hot a55 mess. He cheated because he thought you would? What kind of insecure, narcissist, potential sociopath have you gotten yourself involved with.

 

Sorry that's harsh, I know - but its pretty much the truth. This will not end well. He will not change.

 

Please ditch him and find someone who respects you and is not insecure.

[KatZee]

My ex told me the same things. He still wanted me and loved me so much and couldn't believe he cheated on the girl he loved so much. (he cheated with his ex too)

 

*Yawn*

 

I stupidly gave him a second chance but it was the worst mistake I ever made. The relationship was never the same. He didn't even come clean out of guilt, he came clean b/c there was a threat of you finding out from someone else. This is why my ex told me as well. He didn't tell me b/c he cared and loved me and was so remorseful.

 

I would block your ex's number honestly. He made his bed, he can go lay in it. Tell him to stop contacting you because he ruined the relationship and you have no desire to be with a liar or a cheater.

[flitzanu]

Hello. So here's my story (the short version). My now EX bf cheated on me. We were together 8 months. He cheated on me with his ex-gf (or current gf idk, I think he was dating both her and I). He was forced to confess bc she told him she was pregnant. He says he is not sure if it is true, but there is a chance bc he did cheat.

 

Needless to say, this situation left me no choice but to BU w/him. He begged me not to, he begged me to stay and of course I love him but I simply could not stay. He says he just didn't know if he could trust me bc I would go out a lot so therefore he cheated. But I did that bc he constantly left me alone. Still dont think thats an excuse to cheat.

 

Here's my dilemma... Im not sure if this girl is really pregnant or if she's doing this bc she wanted to break us up (bc she knows about me). My ex is calling, texting, pleading, begging, saying he doesnt want her, that Im the one, etc. He is totally admitting his faults and continues to tell me that he loves me and knows I am the one for him. But I know for a FACT that he lied to me during our entire relationship. I keep telling him that this is beyond my reach bc this girl could be pregnant. Still he keeps reaching for me. Idk wtd... Why is he still reaching for me?

 

Yesterday he broke NC after three days and apologized again saying he cant stop thinking about me. I havent responded yet but idk wtd. What if the girl really isnt pregnant? Why is he telling me he wants to be with me even after he cheated on me in the worst way??

 

why is he still contacting you? because he wants to continue banging you. plus he can still bang the "pregnant" girl too.

[VibrantThang]

@KatZee So where is your ex now? And does he still reach out to you?

[KatZee]

@KatZee So where is your ex now? And does he still reach out to you?

 

I couldn't give a flying F where my ex is. I gave him that second chance, and he didn't show me anything. Went on as if nothing ever happened, and he lacked any and all empathy for the emotions I felt for what he did to me. He would get angry if I'd start crying, and he had the balls to tell me "I can't live like this."

 

THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CHEATED YOU DAMN A.SSHOLE.

 

I was furious for months because HE broke up with me. I had every reason on earth to leave him and because I "loved him" I couldn't leave him. I wound up being the one scorned and hurt. If I could go back and dump his sorry a.ss the day he told me, I would.

 

He dumped me, I walked out of his house and that's the last time he ever saw me. I blocked him on my phone, email, Facebook. I have no desire to be associated with him in any way shape or form. I want nothing to do with him. What he did to me, ruined me on an emotional level and it's only since being away from him that I can see clear that HE has the issues. Not me.

[VibrantThang]

@Katzee I admire your emotional progression and strength. I even admire you giving him a second chance bc you were damned if you did, damned if you didnt, just like me. I say that bc if u didnt, u would never know if he was one of the few who do change after something like that. Im sorry he wasnt for you, believe me, I know u mustve been kicking urself but I wouldnt bc u were true to him and to yourself and thats all u can ever be. Its been almost 2 weeks since I found out and I broke up with him a few days later. He is relentlessly professing his remorse and his love for me, and I thought that I would miss him more with each day, but I honestly find myself caring less. I do miss him, but I dont think I will ever get over this, even if the girl is not pregnant. I dont want to have this in the back of my head. The trust is ruined and he would literally have to move heaven and earth to get through to me. Most guys nowadays wont lift a finger for a woman so I dont expect anything. I must say, he has discouraged me from being with anyone for a very long time... thank you for your story and for taking the time to respond to me. Good luck in love. <3

[VibrantThang]

why is he still contacting you? because he wants to continue banging you. plus he can still bang the "pregnant" girl too.

 

@flitzanu believe it or not I actually appreciate your comment, blunt and straight to the point. thank u.

[TaraMaiden]

....

Here's my dilemma... Im not sure if this girl is really pregnant or if she's doing this bc she wanted to break us up (bc she knows about me).

This is totally irrelevant.

it really doesn't matter whther she is pregnant or not.

It really doesn't matter whether she wants you to break up or not.

 

What matters is that he cheated.

he cheated, and cheated, and cheated, and lied and lied and lied and cheated.

 

While her behaviour may well be questionable, has no merits and is at fault - the main protagonist is your lying-cheating-ex.

It's his behaviour which matters in this, and his behaviour is basically responsible for the demise of your relationship with him.

 

He screwed around.

He screwed up.

Now - he's screwed.

 

My ex is calling, texting, pleading, begging, saying he doesnt want her, that Im the one, etc. He is totally admitting his faults and continues to tell me that he loves me and knows I am the one for him. But I know for a FACT that he lied to me during our entire relationship. I keep telling him that this is beyond my reach bc this girl could be pregnant. Still he keeps reaching for me. Idk wtd... Why is he still reaching for me?

Because he's trying to get you to weaken, capitulate, go back and have you where he wants you.

 

But if he manages, he knows that if he can do it once, he will do it again.

Scenario: Hell, against all odds, he convinced you to take him back - so hell yeah - that's a kind of 'approval' in a way.

"I know what you did, I know how badly you behaved, I know you cheated, i know you lied, but I'm taking you back".

 

That's all he needs, for him to know you can be had for a sucker, so basically, he may well try it again.... if he got you to break once, why not twice? And make no mistake - some women do it countless times.....

 

Don't take him back, and please, PLEASE! Continue to Ignore him and to stay No Contact!!

 

Yesterday he broke NC after three days and apologized again saying he cant stop thinking about me. I havent responded yet but idk wtd.

I understand your confusion. he's beginning to tug at your heart-strings.

 

Meanwhile, there's a girl somewhere who might be carrying his baby.

Stop a minute and consider precisely, in practical terms what that will mean to you and how it will continue to affect matters....

 

Child support = Loss of earnings.

continued contact.

Parental responsibility.

unavoidable interference with your daily lives.

 

Continually.

Until the child is at least of college age.

 

HELLO-O-O....?

 

 

What if the girl really isnt pregnant?

 

What if she isn't??

 

He still phukked her, while he was with you, and lied to you, repeatedly?

Being pregnant is an additional issue, yeah - but it's a side complication. It does nothing to alter the fact that he's a scum-bag....

 

Why is he telling me he wants to be with me even after he cheated on me in the worst way??

Because if she kicks him to the kerb and takes him for child support, he won't have her, but will have all the hard work associated with being a dad.

He enjoyed her. he most definitely doesn't want her + kid.... that wasn't the plan.

But at least if he can convince you to stay, he gets a some kind of residual benefit, a warm bed to sleep in and cosy comfort for his pains....