Blackened Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together 7 months. We just spent the weekend together and it was fine for the most part. But I think I got on his nerves this weekend... We had a good time together, but I just have a feeling he was annoyed with me. Saturday when we went to the movies we were waiting for the theater to start seating. We were standing there in the lobby eating popcorn and I dropped popcorn on the floor twice. I don't mean I dropped the bag, I mean I dropped a few pieces. He got annoyed about that. Then we were talking about the movie we were about to see. I remarked that I heard mixed things about it. Well, this was the weekend it premiered. So he was like, "You've actually heard people talking about it?" I said , "Well, what I meant was I've heard mixed expectations." In other words, some people expecting it to be good, some expecting it to suck. And he was like, "Well, that's how it usually is with comedies." Once again I felt like he was annoyed with me. When he got up on Sunday I was editing... He was talking to me and I was listening to everything he was saying, but I wasn't looking at him because I was editing. So I told him even though I'm looking at my screen, I'm still paying attention. He told me it's annoying when I do that because I have to stop the conversation just to tell him I'm paying attention to him. So I said I won't do that anymore. Then on Sunday we were getting ready to go somewhere and we were both getting dressed. I had commented to him earlier in the week that I was thinking about buying myself a pair of Tripp pants. Well, his Tripps were laying on my bedroom floor and I decided on a whim to try them on. Him and I are about the same size but I wasn't sure if they would fit. I told hi I wanted to try them on to see how they look on me, then I said "I wonder if they'll even fit me." Then he was like, "I don't really see the point in trying them on, they have a drawstring waste so you can make them fit no matter what." I told him I wanted to see how they looked because I was thinking of buying a pair. He didn't care that I put them on for like a minute, but I still think I annoyed him. Then a little while later before we left, I was texting back and forth with various members of my crew, trying to set up a shoot for this weekend. I was waiting to hear back from one person who had to check their work schedule, but everyone else was on board. So, I finally heard back from this person, and they could do it, so I got all excited and did my little happy dance. He was like, "Jeez, you don't need to get so excited." That's when I just straight out told him I feel like I've been annoying him all weekend. He told me I'm not... I know he was stressed out about work also. He commented a few times this weekend that he was "antsy" about his client making some pretty big demands on him. I'm writing down these few times over the weekend when I feel like he was annoyed with me, but there were far more times this weekend where he wasn't annoyed with me. We had really good sex this weekend, we had two good nights out. I got him to watch Man With A Movie Camera with me and we had this good conversation about it. Idk... I know we've been dating 7 months and the honeymoon faze is over by this point. This is the first time I've ever really felt like I was annoying him a lot in a short time. Normally he doesn't act like this, which is why I'm so confused. I'm trying to not let my past get the best of me. Last time I told myself, "Oh it's just because the honeymoon faze is over." it turned out the guy was cheating on me. I am also PMSing, which magnifies things. I'm not a bitchy PMSer, I'm a sad PMSer. I just get sad and emotional and feel depressed during that time. And he also got sick on Sunday night, which never puts anyone in a good mood. He asked me on Sunday if there was anything exciting planned for next weekend. I told him as of now no. And he said he might go hang out with his friend who he hasn't seen in a while on Friday night and then come over to my place on Saturday. (We live an hour apart, normally he comes to my place on Friday and leaves some time on Monday.) This friend of his has been wanting to hang out with him for a while now and they haven't seen each other in like 9 months. And the friend has just broken up with his girlfriend. I am not the possessive type. I want him to have a social life aside from hanging out with me. God knows I have one. But, at the same time, on top of these incidents of him acting annoyed with me throughout the weekend, him saying that made me feel kind of sad too. I have been hurt A LOT. A lot of my relationships have ended with someone dumping me for someone else. And I've also been in abusive relationships. I feel like I've done a lot of work on myself and a relationship with a nice guy is completely new territory for me. I guess I just want peoples' opinions... After 7 months of dating and no problems in the relationship, should I really be worried about this one off weekend we had together? Or is it just the demons from my past creeping in? Please help...
KathyM Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Sounds to me like he gets annoyed a little too easily. He seems critical of you for no reason also. If he gets annoyed over nothing, how is he going to act when you really are annoying? Sounds like being around him would be like walking on eggshells. The least little thing might upset him. My sister dated a guy like that for a while, who seemed to get annoyed easily at things, and sure enough, as their relationship progressed, this pattern became a dealbreaker. He couldn't handle normal frustrations without making a big deal out of them. He became irritable too easily, and he eventually showed his poor anger management. People that get upset or annoyed over nothing are a red flag, IMO. 1
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 If somebody acts annoyed with me I start to feel very uncomfortable and usually i'd just leave. I really have no need to put up with people's bad moods. Did you ask him what his deal was? If he does that to you again, confront him about it or go, but don't just accept it.
Brunettie Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I think you shouldn't worry about this. You said he was stressed about work, and you are being overly emotional right now (because of the pms-ing). I think you're probably just viewing it a little different than it actually happened (as in, you think he's annoyed, when he really isn't.) If your weekend was mainly good, except for those couple incidents, don't worry about it. If you see he starts being annoyed at everything all the time, then you can worry. but I think you're fine. And yes, at 7 months, the honeymoon phase is probably ending.
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 While he certainly could be very stressed and short-tempered because of a work project, our intuition has an uncanny way of letting us know when something is truly off. I wouldn't ignore it or dismiss it as just PMS. You're posting here for a reason. So his sexual issues are now resolved? Or was that a different guy you were seeing simultaneously? I'm confused since you say there have been no problems with this guy other than his current testiness.
Author Blackened Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Thanks to everyone who replied... I have been out of the house the whole evening and couldn't reply on my phone. But I read them all and plan to write replies tomorrow.
ja123 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 OP, when I was reading your post and you mentioned editing and setting up your hsoot, I said to myself, "I wonder if her bf doesn't have professional issues, right now." Then you mention that he has some work stress! I bet that is the reason (and also his possibly not liking his job and that he might be jealous that you like yours and are working in a creative field.) It's not something I'd confront him with though ... you know, there's male pride to consider and all. I'd let this past weekend slide. I really don't think it's you, it sounds like he's stressed. And I think it's cool that you'll be cool with his seeing a friend on Friday (even though you might have some worries slip in from the past!) I don't think it's anything to worry about. He told you upfront and way in advance. And his getting some buddy-time will probably increase his good feelings toward you!
Author Blackened Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Sounds to me like he gets annoyed a little too easily. He seems critical of you for no reason also. If he gets annoyed over nothing, how is he going to act when you really are annoying? Sounds like being around him would be like walking on eggshells. The least little thing might upset him. My sister dated a guy like that for a while, who seemed to get annoyed easily at things, and sure enough, as their relationship progressed, this pattern became a dealbreaker. He couldn't handle normal frustrations without making a big deal out of them. He became irritable too easily, and he eventually showed his poor anger management. People that get upset or annoyed over nothing are a red flag, IMO. I was with someone else who got annoyed about everything I did... with him it started really early on though. My current bf is normally not like this. And since he left my house on Monday everything has been normal between us. I know we haven't seen each other, but we talk every day.
Author Blackened Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 If somebody acts annoyed with me I start to feel very uncomfortable and usually i'd just leave. I really have no need to put up with people's bad moods. Did you ask him what his deal was? If he does that to you again, confront him about it or go, but don't just accept it. After he got annoyed with me for getting all happy about shooting this weekend I straight out told him I feel like I'm getting on his nerves. He told me I'm not. But we didn't talk too long about it. I get uncomfortable when people act annoyed with me too. I am a pleaser, so I always want to correct the problem... and usually that just annoys them more.
Author Blackened Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 I think you shouldn't worry about this. You said he was stressed about work, and you are being overly emotional right now (because of the pms-ing). I think you're probably just viewing it a little different than it actually happened (as in, you think he's annoyed, when he really isn't.) If your weekend was mainly good, except for those couple incidents, don't worry about it. If you see he starts being annoyed at everything all the time, then you can worry. but I think you're fine. And yes, at 7 months, the honeymoon phase is probably ending. Yea... I could just be making it into more then what it actually is. He might not have really been that annoyed. He is the kind of person who says what he thinks, so idk.
Author Blackened Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 While he certainly could be very stressed and short-tempered because of a work project, our intuition has an uncanny way of letting us know when something is truly off. I wouldn't ignore it or dismiss it as just PMS. You're posting here for a reason. So his sexual issues are now resolved? Or was that a different guy you were seeing simultaneously? I'm confused since you say there have been no problems with this guy other than his current testiness. Yea, his sexual issues are a thing of the past. As far as the wording goes... I guess what I should have said was no problems as of lately. The sexual thing was a few months ago and I saw that as more a problem with me, not him.
Author Blackened Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 He sounds moody. I personally am not fond of people that cant handle they're moods and take it out on others by belittling or critisizing them. Nothing you describes sounds horrendous, but still it sounds upsetting. I think if you are 7 months in and everything else is going well, then I would just be honest with him and say, "it really bothered me over the weekend when you were being hyper critical of me, although maybe you didnt realize it", then give him a chance to correct it or show it was just an anomoly. Basically, id give him some more time - if it keeps happening, then may be thinkg about ending it. If it appears to be a rare occurrance, then maybe its okay. I think I might talk to him about it this weekend... if it feels right to do so. I say that because I want to bring it up at the right time, not just randomly and put him on the spot. If he acts the same way this weekend then I will definitely say something. It might result in our first ever argument. I know it's inevitable. Every couple argues once in a while. He has been acting fine since then. We haven't seen each other but we still talk every day. Last night I was even talking to him about this week's shoot. And I told hi I was so excited and nervous. He said he could understand why, and we talked a little about that. I also bought something sexy to wear for him last weekend. I have recently lost a lot of weight, and he loves seeing me in lingerie, so I treated myself to something new since most of my clothes are way too big now. I was planning on wearing it for him on Sunday night but he got sick. SO last night I told him I tried it on and it looked killer. He was saying he couldn't wait to see me in it this weekend, etc. He said since I bought something new to wear for him he bought us something new to use (in the bedroom.) I'm rambling... but the point is he hasn't been acting all short with me since he left my house.
Author Blackened Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 OP, when I was reading your post and you mentioned editing and setting up your hsoot, I said to myself, "I wonder if her bf doesn't have professional issues, right now." Then you mention that he has some work stress! I bet that is the reason (and also his possibly not liking his job and that he might be jealous that you like yours and are working in a creative field.) It's not something I'd confront him with though ... you know, there's male pride to consider and all. I'd let this past weekend slide. I really don't think it's you, it sounds like he's stressed. And I think it's cool that you'll be cool with his seeing a friend on Friday (even though you might have some worries slip in from the past!) I don't think it's anything to worry about. He told you upfront and way in advance. And his getting some buddy-time will probably increase his good feelings toward you! I think it might be something similar to that. He loves his job... but his job is very logic based and he told me until he met me he never even liked creative people. So it could be some thing where he can't understand why I get so excited about something creative when he's not a creative person at all. He was stressed out last weekend about talking to this one client this week. Maybe because he had something stressful coming up and I have something I'm going to enjoy coming up. There might be a litlte contempt there I suppose.
mitchell Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I'm curious how you solved his inability to ejaculate. Was it related to medication? Was he masturbating too frequently??
Author Blackened Posted February 21, 2013 Author Posted February 21, 2013 I'm curious how you solved his inability to ejaculate. Was it related to medication? Was he masturbating too frequently?? He was masterbating too much. We had to both work at that one. He started masterbating less and I learned more about his body and got better practiced at what he likes.
lemonlegs Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I know you said you briefly brought it up, but if it continues or you notice he begins to do it again when you're together for longer periods of time, I would simply ask what someone above said to; "Why are you being so critical of me?" and if he says "I'm not" I would stick to your guns and tell him that he IS and is clearly not aware of it, and ask him to be a little more sensitive because it bothers you. Let him know that what he's doing upsets whether he realizes what he's doing or not. Don't let him tell you he's not "doing anything." 1
curlygirl40 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 You've gotten a lot of great advice on this thread I just wanted to add one thing. Make sure that you don't change who you are for him (or anyone else!). If you're one of those people who gets excited and does a happy dance around the house when something cool happens in your life, then DON'T change that about yourself because you think it's annoying him. I did this in my marriage and by the end of the marriage (18 years) I didn't even recognize myself since I had changed so much of who I was. I had lost that free spirit, the girl who always got excited and giddy because he judged me and made me feel like a child so I stifled my personality. So be careful about that. If this is who you are and you like who you are, then don't allow someone else to change that about yourself because they are moody or easily annoyed. Aside from that, I think there's maybe not enough information to know for sure. Intuition is a wonderful thing, don't push it aside. But it's possible that it was just a combination of PMS affecting your moods and the stress of his work affecting his moods. Time will tell but keep your eyes wide open. Good luck 2
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