bitterruin Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 My ex and I broke up 5 months ago. I don't even know how much time passed from the last time I saw him until this weekend when he emailed me that I needed to pick up some things from his room. I met him at the Starbucks on campus and he thought I was bringing a friend so he brought his, but made her wait once he saw we would be alone. He tried talking to me, even mentioned our therapist from when we were doing couple's counseling but I shot him down and refused to talk. He started crying after that but I pretended I didn't see. He was very obviously upset but I wasn't trying to have a conversation and maybe he was afraid to try. I think the only reason he made me come to his dorm was as an excuse to talk to me. I was seeing somebody else but I realized things weren't going anywhere so I told the new guy that I was only interested in being friends. This was yesterday. I emailed my ex today to tell him I wanted to talk, he responded within five minutes telling me to come meet him now but I rescheduled for tonight. I plan on asking him to try again because I fully believe we can start things over and do it right this time since enough time has passed. I don't really know where his heart is and I don't know the reason why he wanted to see me this weekend, but I'm really hoping for a reconciliation tonight and maybe I have my hopes up too high. Hearing some realistic advice from here should probably cushion my fall, but mostly I just wanted to write about it and hope someone will listen.
RR1 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 All i can say is best of luck. You should never stop trying if the feelings are still there. There's many people who will tell you to give up and not bother even trying but they are the cynical ones. Don't be cynical because as soon as you become cynical then you stop trying like all the other cynics. Keep believing and keep trying, Good things happen to those that try. I so hope everything works out for you.
TaraMaiden Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Yeah, RR1.... try reading his past posts and how his ex treated him like crap - then tell him to not give up.....
geegirl Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/368150-he-wants-get-back-together Read this again. Maybe it will wake you up.
RR1 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 OK i'll be honest and say i didn't read any previous posts. The OP just sounded like they wanted another shot so i wanted to be supportive and encouraging and say go for it. The thing is with angry words is that people say all sorts of stuff they don't really mean in the heat of the moment. Come on everyone has done it. After you have had time to reflect and cool down a little then you realise you were maybe a bit hasty with your choice of words. Many words said in anger and regretted later. 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I appreciate what you mean - when I first joined I felt the same way you did. Sadly, after a long time and plenty of experience, people don't work that way. Well..... they do. In Hollywood......
La Cha Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Hey bitterruin, A friend once told me she would rather play a situation out and be like "oh well I tried" instead of "what if I would/could have". Essentially she meant not having regrets but I think it also means to just follow your heart. Your head may say one thing but the only way you'll ever learn anything about love is to test the waters. Sail through storms and come close to drowning. Youll appreciate the concept of love and life much more. On a side note though, the dude sounds like a mess but if he's really into you who could blame him? Give it a one more chance. If it doesn't work, oh well. Keep me posted!
thekarmacist Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 good luck! i hope it goes well for you both!
Author bitterruin Posted February 21, 2013 Author Posted February 21, 2013 We got back together. We talked for about six hours and he said he wanted to be with me again. I told him not to make a decision right in that moment and to take some time to think about it. I was actually worried that by the next day he'd change his mind but he came back the next day telling me that he thought about it and he doesn't want to live his life without me in it. We apologized for our past mistakes and are now willing to put in all the work necessary to make things work again. We're going to be taking things slow, and I'm certainly not moving back in with him for a while. However we promised to be exclusive and monogamous and to not look for other people while we're still trying with each other. Now that I've come down from cloud nine and have spent time with him I realize this isn't going to be easy. Rebuilding trust and maintaining it will be one of the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but I expect that with enough communication we're going to get through this. There are a bunch of things that I'm still concerned about but I hope that we can get past them. Reconciliations are possible. I've realized that to make a relationship work you only need two things: Trust and two people who want to be with each other more than anything else. The only problem is that you can't build trust out of thin air and you can't convince the other person to want to be with you, but if you have both of those things there's nothing you can't overcome. I really hope I'm right. 1
Njeanne Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Congratulations, I hope some of us here will have the second chance you are going through. <3 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 ........ Reconciliations are possible. I've realized that to make a relationship work you only need two things: Trust and two people who want to be with each other more than anything else. The only problem is that you can't build trust out of thin air and you can't convince the other person to want to be with you, but if you have both of those things there's nothing you can't overcome. I really hope I'm right. I'm glad that you have the mind-set to consider this and know it to be true. I really hope things work out for you, truly I do. Please keep us posted, and if you think we can be of any help in future, post back here, and we'll do everything we can to support your progress. Best of luck, be well, stay well. 1
iouaname Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Best of luck, hon! You've got a good head on your shoulders.
Author bitterruin Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 I'm glad that you have the mind-set to consider this and know it to be true. I really hope things work out for you, truly I do. Please keep us posted, and if you think we can be of any help in future, post back here, and we'll do everything we can to support your progress. Best of luck, be well, stay well. Oh, these forums helped a lot, and I don't plan on leaving, I'd really like to stick around and help others go through what I went through. It was hard but worth it in the end, even if we hadn't gotten back together the breakup helped me discover a lot of things about myself and I believe I should stick around and help others.
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