newsbug Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I was dumped last Monday by my fiancee for another girl. I loved him...still love him so much. But I know it's over. Even though I've cut all ways for me to contact him, I don't even think he will ever try and contact me. I truly think it's just done. I'm sad and hurt and confused by how it could happen. But I also joined a dating site the day after the break up. Really, it was just a desperate act to try and make myself feel better. I've began chatting with this guy and it seems he already likes me. Obviously this is a online dating thing, so who knows for real what's going on. We have moved from chatting on the computer to texting and he seems really nice. I've told him exactly where I stood as far as just getting dumped by my fiancee for another woman. I even was texting him Sunday night when I was needing to make food but I just couldn't get my brain together to be able. I just kept walking back and forth to the kitchen and started to cry because I just couldn't handle it. I'm kind of crazy right now. Anyways...he wants to meet me and I've told him that I would like to just chat a bit longer. He's okay with it...he said he had his fiancee cheat on him and leave him for another man and another girlfriend do the same and he totally understands. Is this too soon? The whole time I'm texing him I'm thinking about my ex. And I'm pissed off at him for making me do this again. I wasn't supposed to have to ever worry about dating or any of this junk again. He promised me forever. But I feel like he left me for another woman...he has his soft place to land. I should have one too. And as long as I'm 100% honest with this fella about what's going on with me, then who knows? I told him one thing for sure that he was meeting me at my absolute worst, so if he likes this then he will love me when I actually feel sane again. I dunno. This is probably a bad idea. But it's nice to have someone to talk with too. Any thoughts?
Sav Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 If you are having the thought "is this too soon?" then yes it is. If you are having the thought "why can't I see this sooner?" then you know you are ready. Our brain sends us subtle messages from time to time. The fact that you are associating the man with your ex tells you that you are not over your ex. At least you know that . Well, having someone to talk to can be rather comforting so I'm all for looking at the new guy as a shoulder to lean on, but anything romantic, stay away from it in the meanwhile.
creighton0123 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Too soon for meaningless sex with no strings attached? No. Too soon for a casual date to make you feel better? No. Too soon for delving into another long term relationship? Yes. I would say pencil in a first date with him for next weekend, right around the 2 week post-BU mark. Know that just because you go out on a date with someone does not mean you have to start discussing longevity, marriage, babies, and a dog. Then, the day before you're supposed to meet him, see how you feel and either postpone or cancel.
Author newsbug Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 I think I'm worried about leading the other guy on even though I have been extremely honest. I know emotionally and mentally that I can't be in another relationship because I haven't come to terms that this one is over yet. I'm also a little afraid that since I have told this guy so much that he will be thinking he can take advantage of me since I'm so vulnerable...in which case there could be a new news story of a man being murdered by a crazy girl. heh. But yeah...I guess it's okay. We'll see. It's nice having a little bit of a distraction if nothing else.
Love Bytes Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 As long as you're honest about your intentions, and he knows that you're not over the situation with your ex, then I would say no. It isn't too soon.
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