grace777 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I sent a really long email at the onset of NC with my ex of 3.5 years. We had broken up 6 weeks prior. We met, and I told her I couldn't be her friend and I had to say goodbye. A week later, I felt compelled to write this 2 page letter to her. And I did send it. My letter basically recapped the love I felt for her, what she meant to me, how much I value the role she played in my life, and it also included a couple paragraphs on how wrong she was for treating me the way she did at the end and during the breakup. I ended the letter letting her know that I will choose not to focus on that, but on the other 3 and half years of our relationship that were wonderful. I told her that I'll always love her and will forgive her soon, but that now I must move on. I can't be friends with her, etc. She never replied to the email. But I didn't expect her to, and it actually didn't bother me that she didn't respond. We did NC for a couple of months. Then I saw her in January and we actually hung out. That's a whole other story. But I did ask her if she ever read it. She told me she did. When I asked her why she didn't respond, she said, "what? to your breakup letter? what was I supposed to say to that? it made me cry and confused me, so i didn't." I recently reread the letter I sent. I feel good about saying it, because I got all of my feelings out...the loving ones and the ones that felt betrayed. However, I sincerely believe I did nothing wrong throughout this breakup, so there was no apology from me at all. The letter was a form of closure for me. And for that purpose, it worked. I wanted to let her know that her actions were unacceptable, but that I will always value her and who we were as a couple. I feel it was a goodbye that really captured my heart and soul. So I do not regret sending it at all. Even after rereading it, I still think it was a good idea. However I must make clear that it was NOT me apologizing. The letter actually put me on top as the more mature, kind, loving and strong one...without being cruel or bitch, or power-playing in any way. It took me about 4 or 5 days of writing and revising before I came up with the perfect draft to send. In the end, I'm glad that she has this as something to remember me by. I don't know if we'll ever be close again (friends or otherwise), so knowing that I was honest and loving in the end sits well with me. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Does those movie romances happen in real life surely they do. i have heard of things that happen similar to those in hollywood You have? I sure haven't.
Neffer Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 (edited) Does those movie romances happen in real life surely they do. i have heard of things that happen similar to those in hollywood Yes those romances happen. Sometimes they crash and burn too But I was talking about closure, which is a myth. Anything that can be called or termed closure comes from us, ourselves, never the other person. We have to process things, they have no part to play. Edited March 4, 2013 by Neffer
Recommended Posts