koi pond Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 I've been dating a separated man since april of this year. He's been separated from his wife since October. They had there problems and have a sone together who is five theyve been together 10. He say that there is no hope for reconciliation. Bit I don't know if I believe him. He spends once a week with his son and wife and they meet once a week without his son. He says he's trying to help her she was severely depressed and financially unstable. When she found out that he was dating she freaked out. Now that everything has blown over so to speak he talked with her and asked if he tried to have a relationship would she freak out. In a sense she said she most likely would not be mature about it. We were getting close and he's decided that we should no longer date because of her answer to his question. Isn't it selfish of her to say that? Why would he ask her such a thing? what about me? He says they used to be best friends and he wants to maintain a good relatioship with her because of there son and he still care for her. I feel left out in the cold I dont know where we stand and it suck because we were begining to get serious and close. Any thought on this would help a lot.
Breathe Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 Move on with your life and stop letting this man have all the control. If you care about him, let him go and tell him not to contact you until his divorce papers are signed by a judge and final. He wants his wife and family and wants you - but he can't have it both ways and when he wants it. Your letting him do this to you. Stand up for yourself and know that you deserve better. If he wants to be with you, he will come back after the divorce is final. If not, then it wasn't meant to be in the first place.
mj108 Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 I agree with Breathe. You have to focus on yourself. You've got to realize that even if you do get together with him....his ex is always going to be in his life, & there may be times they get together with their son. I've been in the same situation & had to break things off with my MM. I know it's hard but I would give him & yourself some space. If he truly loves you---he will come back. But you need not to dwell on it---you need to focus on yourself & your life. I know it's hard...believe me. I've been through it & been taking it day by day...the pain, the hurt. You've got to stay positive & keep yourself busy....I'm trying to do that as well. My prayers are with you & Always keep that chin up.
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