unluckyperson Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 (edited) hey guys, i need your help and advice for how to get my ex gf back. we have not been talking to each other since 3 days ago and we have just broke up since ystd. i've made a book and inside the book i paste many pictures of our past, when we first met till the last day we ended. i tried to called my ex and text her because i want to gave her the book. when i said i'll wait for her to meet me if not i wont go home even if it takes me everyday. then she suddenly call me and scold me. say i was a burden to her why cant i just leave her and she said she was very happy without me this past 3 days, she can be herself do what she wants, and i said i'll wait for her everyday until she comes back to my side, but she say im stupid im dumb. it is just waiting my time. but after hearing this i dont know what to do, the book i made for her, i dont even know what should i do with it . i really love her, i just feel that i owe her a lot and i really will do anything or even change just to be with her. she still say if she ever saw me waiting for her in her house outside she will hate me until she cant hate anymore, and she will block me if i ever call her or text her again. i said i'll wait for her until one day she get back to me. but she say dont be stupid i will nvr nvr get back or be with you even if i die. but why the things i do make her so angry is because i lied to her about going out with my friends, and being sensitive and jealous sometimes. what should i do Please Please i need advice on what should i do to get her back please Edited February 19, 2013 by unluckyperson
mcdo Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I can say from experience that you should give her space right now. I made rookie mistake No.1 with my ex and messaged her repeatedly (i.e. text message terrorism). This is the very worst thing you can possibly do. I also put together a box of memories and dropped it over to her house. She didn't want to see ANY of that kinda stuff. It just completely weirded her out and pushed her further away. My friend talked sense into me and told me to stop contacting her and give her space. Within 4 days my ex felt comfortable enough to initiate contact with me. We never did get back together and part of me thinks my irrational behaviour at that point pushed her so far away that I could never get her back. SO DON'T DO IT! My advice would be to give her a few days alone. If she doesn't contact you within the next week/two weeks then maybe send a message to test the waters and see how she is. If you're still getting a hostile response from her then you have no choice but to let her go and get on the hard road back to recovery. Oh ya and hide that book and everything that reminds you of her. If she comes back to you in the future you can always take the book back out and enjoy the memories again. For now put away all the memories. When I put together the box of memories for my ex it had 2 functions: 1. To get her to remember our good times together 2. I wouldn't have to look at the constant reminders of her. OK so it didn't bring her back but at least I didn't have all those photos and everything about her lying about the place. That made things MUCH easier.
Author unluckyperson Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 sorry to say, even if i give her 1 month and she doesn't want me back anymore ? cause when she talked to me on the phone, can tell that she is really really so annoyed and irritated by my action . i really pray everyday that she would come back to me again. what i've know is that she would not want to be together with me again, because on the phone she said, she doesn't love me long long time ago , is just that feeling make us come back again but the love may not be there, because we have been together for about 2 years. i have nvr seen her hated me so much before what i will like to know is that, will she come back to me again and regret whatever she have said or maybe not ? because she have so much fun and she wasn't that sad anymore maybe the 1st and 2nd day she is sad, but now she wasn't sad anymore i heard from her sister. she had fun with her life now . why do this 2years we have been together is like nothing to her ?
Author unluckyperson Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 it's hard too, i really dont want to just leave like that. it is possible to wait ? everything she already dose to me, block me from everything
Author unluckyperson Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 can i know how come u both broke up ? and did she come back to you or text or even contact you ?
Author unluckyperson Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 sorry. that's so sad to heard from you. but what if she comes back to you, will you want her back ?
Author unluckyperson Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 if you tried to contact her now ? it's been a month now, i guess she also forgiven you already ? the sad things is maybe you guys only can be just friend not more than that , that's the worst
Author unluckyperson Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 how long dose it take the both of you to contact each other ? but when u guys broke up. did you keep calling or texting her and make her so angry and pissed off at you ? cause my i did that and now she is so angry at me, i dont even know if there is a chance for me to get back with her again
mcdo Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 sorry to say, even if i give her 1 month and she doesn't want me back anymore ? cause when she talked to me on the phone, can tell that she is really really so annoyed and irritated by my action . i really pray everyday that she would come back to me again. what i've know is that she would not want to be together with me again, because on the phone she said, she doesn't love me long long time ago , is just that feeling make us come back again but the love may not be there, because we have been together for about 2 years. i have nvr seen her hated me so much before what i will like to know is that, will she come back to me again and regret whatever she have said or maybe not ? because she have so much fun and she wasn't that sad anymore maybe the 1st and 2nd day she is sad, but now she wasn't sad anymore i heard from her sister. she had fun with her life now . why do this 2years we have been together is like nothing to her ? Dude this has happened to pretty much all of us. Will she come back to you? Only she knows, nobody else does. My ex went straight back out there and went wild. I was in shock as she had never acted like that before. She has been getting hammered drunk, scoring guys, taken up smoking (something she absolutely hated). It can be very hard to see them change like that and tell you they are having the best fun they've ever had. But that's life. Between me and my ex - she was the conservative, healthy living one & I was the party animal. And since we have broken up I have cut back on the amount I drink, haven't been to crazy late night parties and now I go to the gym 3 times a week. People are strange! And I know that in a few months' (maybe even a few years') time my ex is going to regret most of her actions right now (she already has a few regrets). And I won't regret a single thing because I have been busy bettering myself. Working hard on my career, my health, my music and realising that I can pursue dreams that I couldn't when in a relationship. So give her space right now. And get out there and do something to improve yourself while you wait. And if she doesn't ever want to come back, my suggestion to you is to turn your life around and become the best you can be. In time she might see you've become someone who she can't believe she let go.
Author unluckyperson Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 thank you so much, but did you and her even contact ? dose she come back to you, like tried to talk to you or text or even call you ? it's very sad to see my ex going to party and club like that, i just scare that anything bad would happen to her. if she broke up with me, who will be more regret ? what if she don't even regret breaking up with me at all ?
Chi townD Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 thank you so much, but did you and her even contact ? dose she come back to you, like tried to talk to you or text or even call you ? it's very sad to see my ex going to party and club like that, i just scare that anything bad would happen to her. if she broke up with me, who will be more regret ? what if she don't even regret breaking up with me at all ? Then you need to move on!!! Look, when you said that you would wait at her house everyday, that sounded very scary and very much like you are a stalker. That's how she's viewing you! Dude, I think it's time to let go. SHe's moving on with her life without you and you seem to be stuck pining for a girl that doesn't want you. Time to find a girl that does want to be with you.
Author unluckyperson Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 i tried to talk to her friend about it, and it's really sure that once she make up her mind she wont want me back into her life anymore, but i just want to know. will there be at least 0.01% of chance to have her back ? or unless maybe her future boyfriend treat her very badly then maybe i may have a chance to get her back ?
mcdo Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 (edited) I'll give you a history of my contact with my ex. Basically, I did it ALL wrong. So avoid some of my mistakes, they will hold you back and it will be torture. When we broke up first we still carried on as normal, except with no kissing, sex, etc. We still messaged all the time, hung out, met for drinks. I was certain we would be back together within 2 weeks. I was completely wrong. She met someone else. And I found out the worst way possible - saw her with him in a club. And then she went no contact on me. Blocked me out completely. I had a complete and utter emotional breakdown. Couldn't eat, sleep, get out of bed, absolutely nothing. I didn't eat Christmas dinner with my family, I stayed in bed crying instead. That's how bad I took it. So I put together the box of memories, dropped it over to her house and then messaged her repeatedly trying to get her to talk. It drove her crazy. Worst thing in the world. I eventually chilled out and got her to meet me so we could talk and I could get "closure". It was a very good conversation but she pointed out that there was no way back for us (oh and that guy in the club - he was a rebound and she already dumped him). My friend forced me to leave her alone and go no contact. Only 4 days later she contacted me. And so began what I like to call "hell". For all of January I stayed in contact with her, but it was always on her terms. We would message back and forth for 3 days and I would be over the moon. Then she would disappear and not respond for 3 days and I would plummet into the depths of depression. I constantly checked my phone, my Facebook, emails, looked at her Facebook page, etc. It was torture. A crazy emotional rollercoaster that nobody should ever ride. While this was happening I tried another tactic to get her back - self improvement. I made all of these positive changes to my life - less partying, more gym and (most importantly) I moved into my own place, sharing with other young professionals. She was very impressed. I had her over to my place to help her with college work, made her dinner, listened to music, had a few drinks. I thought I was getting back in there. Nope. I wasn't. The last time she came over (2 weeks ago) I said it had to stop. I was bringing her over so I could get her back, she was just coming over for help from a friend. She told me to let go, we have no future. Harsh words but I'm glad she was honest. Afterwards I cut off all contact - no more texts, no more Facebook, no more emails, no more visits to my new place. It was hard but it had to be done. And I never stopped focusing on my self improvement. And now things are good. I get sad from time to time but overall things are much, much better. Me and the ex have messaged once in the last week (ya I broke my no contact rule) and it was cool. That same night I was out socialising with friends, flirting with girls, making them laugh and just coming across as an impressive guy. It felt fantastic. Even though I messaged my ex that day, I was out that night not thinking about her at all and now I quite like one of the girls I was flirting with that night. I've been thinking of this new girl a lot lately. I'm not there yet but I'm getting there. I'm slowly but surely moving on. If I hadn't made those mistakes I would have started to move on ages ago. Hope some of that helps, I'm off to the gym. Edited February 19, 2013 by mcdo
TaraMaiden Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Hi, it's me. Signature. Guide, updated. Read. Love TM. XX
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