gravi1 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 broke up with my girl in January. I think she is a serial cheater, although at first I did not want to face reality,this is what I found out and relate for the period November -January.She found out that she is pregnant in November, and claims that the child is mine. I have had my reservations because there were several indications that she was cheating, I did not deny to her face as I never cought her red handed. In December I gave her some money to go visit relatives, she left on the 23rd, we had sex four times before she left that day, but on the 24th she met someone where she was visiting (this I found out afterward when she returned).She ignored my calls and texts that entire period it was hell to get her to talk to me or reply texts, I couldnt even ask why this was the case. It is obvious that she related to him sexually also, and this while she is pregnant with a child she claims is mine. She returned to town in January and that day I was also out of town, she informed me but then ignored all my calls and texts when I rashed back to be with her (I found out that she was calling the same guy and had met with him that evening). That Friday I told her it was over. It has been a very uphill battle for me. I struggle to cut contact, I got so yealous heartbroken etc. The lady still claims that she loves me dearly but I know its because the other guy used her and wants nothing more with her and perhaps all the other men. Am I too weak to just let her go, I am now so convinced that maybe its the size of my weapon and my inability to satisfy her, that makes her run around. My first girlfriend also cheated on me with an older guy.After that I just had girls but no serious thing no feelings. Is she serious when she says that it will never happen again and that she loves me etc. Is that possible realy. I am just intrigued that someone can be so complicated. It has not even been a full month and half since that dreded Friday the 11th January. I do understand that I gave her some security as she is not working, but can someone realy be so devoid of any pride. I love her realy and I would jump at the first chance to be with her again but its just too much, the fact that she even went to bed with someone else while pregnant. Is it possible she speaks the truth that she loves me and wants to be with me. What should I make of it.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Is it possible she speaks the truth that she loves me and wants to be with me. Of course you overlooked the third part--she loves you, wants to be with you and she will cheat on you again. I absolutely believe all 3 of those things can be true, with the last one being definite. When you get back with her because she loves you and wants to get back with you, you have no basis to get mad at her when she cheats on you again. Its implicitly part of the deal you are not hearing.
SharkTooth Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Dude! Really? I mean read your post from outside the box. It's pathetic. I mean screwing a guy, lying, pregnant with someone's baby, ignoring you while screwing another guy. WOW! Sorry, but for the life of me, I can't understand why you would want this woman back in your life. Run as fast as you can in the other direction! There are woman out there that are a billion times better than her.
Author gravi1 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Thanx for the advise, I know I may sound like a distorted person, but I realy have a problem dealing with emotional situations. I know that after what she did it is a done deal, no way back, no matter how much I love her and want to just give in to her request. I know I am wrong for entertaining her stories that it wont ever happen again and that she loves me and wants me back and that we can be happy again and raise the baby etc. I just dont understand why I feel so guilty asif I owe her something. I dont text her but when she texts I reply within the first second, and I feel so angry at myself because it is true I could feel myself explode when she ignored me and more so when I went through the cellphone records, its unfair what what I am doing to myself. She didnt care that I had three days and nights no sleep and had to go see a doctor and get some medication to rest my nerves. Why do I feel this sympathetic to her. She doesnt give me anything to go on except that I must try and forget everything and focus on our happiness, I dont know if I can do that, right now I need to focus on cutting down a few trees barehanded.fortunately for me my bosses offered me an opportunity to work far outside of town for three months, meaning we are reasonably far from each other, in a way this is good because it keeps me from going to see her. I plan not to go back even for a weekend to visit. Its only th NC part that is tough,I feel like I have some hope or guilt. I think its also the fact that she is unemployed and asks for money from me, even today she text me for some money to go for her ANC's at the doctors. Is it maybe the reason. I have so many questions which I know are just ridiculous to ask her now, I wont get any satisfaction. I have become almost obsessed to the point of asking her if they used protection and how many times they did it, I feel so dirty. Please, I know I have to get away very far from her, I need to train my mind to accept what she did and start seeing my life without her. Why does she have such a hold on me?, I want to convince myself that nothing will happen to me if I just ignore her forever,
SharkTooth Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Best I can tell is your confidence in yourself is at a all time low. I've been there and it sucks. All I can say is get busy living. Try new stuff, get involved, take your hobbies to the next level. You've lost your stride and it's time to get it back. Keep yourself in good-positive company as much as possible. They will rub off on you. Stay busy as hell! So busy that when you hit the bed, your out cold in 2 minutes. Learn patients. That's the hardest part but crucial. It will get better, that's a guarantee! Read the old timers post here. 95% of them feel good after 4-5 months. I know it sounds like a super long time but hell, it's almost March and it seems like Christmas was last week! Good Luck!
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