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Posted

It's as though you want to leave them both...but want the decision to be theirs.

 

How come you can't do it?

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Posted
It's as though you want to leave them both...but want the decision to be theirs.

 

How come you can't do it?

 

No, I really want to be with the xOW. She just doesn't seem to want to be with me. But she doesn't let go either. It's really hard for me to walk away from that. But I can't go on like this, the rollercoaster is killing me. That's why I went looking for another job.

 

As for my marriage, well, it is ending. Just takes time to sort out the logistics. I can't hurt my wife any more by being with her when I don't want to be. Kind of ironic that the woman who demonstrates that she cares about me is the one who gets hurt in all this. I'm just a f-up. I guess I deserve to end up alone, the way it's heading.

Posted
No, I really want to be with the xOW. She just doesn't seem to want to be with me. But she doesn't let go either. It's really hard for me to walk away from that. But I can't go on like this, the rollercoaster is killing me. That's why I went looking for another job.

 

As for my marriage, well, it is ending. Just takes time to sort out the logistics. I can't hurt my wife any more by being with her when I don't want to be. Kind of ironic that the woman who demonstrates that she cares about me is the one who gets hurt in all this. I'm just a f-up. I guess I deserve to end up alone, the way it's heading.

 

you're half-way there in realising what's going on. you say that you're able to process things intellectually yet struggling with emotions - well, the intellectual bit is more important here and will assist in fighting and guiding the emotions.

 

and even if you *do* end up alone, so what? you should view it as a positive step, you're taking actions that will get you out of 2 unhappy relationships... and after a while you will be available to find someone with whom you can have a healthy, fulfilling one.

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