creighton0123 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I'm only fresh out of a 2 year relationship (1 year LDR, 1 year in person, 7 months living together). Since the breakup 1 week ago, I've been asked out twice by two different men, one introduced through an aunt and another met in person at a work function (not a coworker). The thing is... I would very much like to go out on a date or three with each of them, but am not quite ready. The former knew I had just gotten out of a relationship thanks to my aunt's gossip. I told him that when I have settled with things and am keen on dating again, he would be the first I call. Not sure how to tell the second, though. He was quite insistent and I feel it would be wrong of me to decline and rather forward of me to tell him why I am not yet ready to date - and that will push him off even when I may be ready in a month or two. I'm flattered by the prospects. I just wish they would have waited until I'm more settled into my life as a single man. Advice on the second? Or should I just cut him loose and contact him in a few months?
pbjbear Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Dont date until youre healed and ready. Im sure if you said you just got out of a relationship and werent ready theyd understand. I pretty much avoid dating guys fresh out of relationships for that reason...Perhaps after some time theyll still be interested.
eleanorhurting Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I knew moving to Boston would be a good idea! oh wait... you are are a man. and you like men. oh. never mind... I know how you feel OP it has happened to me before and the best you can do is stand your ground and be honest. It has happened to me before that people look at it as some sort of invitation for a little rebound hookupu or something... so be as clear as you can and be careful because we can all get vulnerable when we just got out of a relationship. 1
Author creighton0123 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 What, eleanor, you like hanging around so much with us gay boys? I should simply tell him and hope he's mature enough to wait around a month or two and, if he's still available, be interested. I don't want to date someone, even casually, who might be put off by the idea of waiting a bit for the person to be both ready and available to date.
eleanorhurting Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 What, eleanor, you like hanging around so much with us gay boys? I should simply tell him and hope he's mature enough to wait around a month or two and, if he's still available, be interested. I don't want to date someone, even casually, who might be put off by the idea of waiting a bit for the person to be both ready and available to date. I love hanging out with gay men I have a gay husband I will be leaving behind in PR and I am definitely looking for a replacement wherever I end up! I agree with you. I would not want to be with someone who did not understand my need for space. Some people will try to take advantage of you being vulnerable right now... I dont think those are the kind of men you would want in the long run...
Author creighton0123 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 Meh. I wouldn't mind a little rebound hookup. Those are easy enough to get. Snap your fingers and you have 20 men at your front door wanting to hook up. Problem is none of those men are worth the salt I lay down for them (get it? A blizzard reference). If they're a good match, I'm sure they'll be more than game in a month or so when I'm ready to date again. For now, I'm just going to have fun as a single man, socialize, and get my footing after my ex spontaneously left because of a bad case of twentyitis. 1
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