Generalizations be damned, preconceived notions be shattered

[William]

Whatever, enough threadjacking

 

Moderation concurs.

[Zed]

This is true. The skewed gender ratio can be seen in Wilston, ND an oil boom town in which the sex ratio is toward men and not women based on this article:

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/16/us/16women.html?pagewanted=2&_r=0

 

Here are some choice quotes to illustrate it:

 

But sensitivity is often absent here when men discuss women. Here, men talk of a “Williston 10” — a woman who would be considered mediocre in any other city is considered a perfect 10 out here.

 

“I’ve noticed my standards dropping,” said Ian Hernandez, 24, who moved to Williston from Chicago a couple of months ago. “I just went home two weeks ago. I saw the girls I had planned to see. That, hopefully, should hold me off until I go back next time in two months or so.”

 

So you are not crazy. Skewed gender ratios can cause major problem in dating and NYC does have the reputation of having more options for men as opposed to women.

[todreaminblue]

Basically I took notice of a couple things today that smash some generalizations in the dating world.

 

1. Since most here are American, Ill assume mostly non-American will know who Im about to mention. Centerback for Barcelona football club (soccer), Gerard Pique has been in a long term relationship with Colombian pop sensation Shakira for quite some time. Hes 26, very tall, handsome and obviously rich seeing as he plays for one of the most successful sports franchises in the world, in the worlds most popular game.

 

This man is a superstar defender and could have any girl he wants, but hes with 36 year old Shakira and they just had a child last month. I only found out about this today because Im a Real Madrid fan (Barcelona rivals) and dont follow the personal lives of footballer...especially not Barcelona players. I saw part of a UEFA Champions League program that highlighted Piques personal life today.

 

So much for those who hate on older women or scoff at older gals dating younger guys.

 

2. Im currently talking to a very cool chick. Smart, funny, goofy, raunchy, unique, pretty, nice body...and guess what else? Three inches taller than me at almost 6 ft tall. Youd think we wouldnt talk to each other, or that an amazon-esque girl like her wouldnt go for me...but things seem on a good path and we are going out for drinks and dancing this weekend. Im not making grand expectations of the evening, but we have a good vibe at the present time.

 

So much for those who think their height will always keep them down.

 

3. Talking to another girl whos from a very different culture than mine. Im African American, and shes Jewish, yet we seem to get along well enough so far though things are in the early stages. For as much as I thought my race was a detriment to my dating success last week when I posted....a week later I have two decent prospects who dont seem to care that we are racially different. And I mentioned this third thing because of that race thread thats on the front page right now.

 

All and all, I just felt like sparking this convo to say that sometimes you gotta just be you, and not worry about generalizations and how they might dictate your dating life. I was bitching last week about some things out of my control, and I see other gals and guys do the same. And sometimes you just gotta put yourself out there...let go...and maybe youll run into some cool people.

 

 

 

 

yay woot woot....throwing party streamers and jelly fish..doin the moonwalk...a guy actually gets it.......deb

[Allumere]

For F-sakes, everybody is right...and wrong.

 

To the gent that feels challenged by his height: GET OVER IT. Whether there is a statistic that backs up your belief that shorter men can't get dates I don't know but really does it matter anyway. Will getting everyone to agree that dating for you sucks make everything better? Do you want sympathy or are you just bitter? Until you get over this stupid roadblock in your mind, you are right, you will not get dates. Women don't have as much issue with height as guys thinks....its the complex that some times comes with it that is the turn off. Don't you dare ever whine about your height or the fact that you feel it has held you back in the dating game...seriously, we don't want to hear it. Be you, be confident and be willing to accept that yes it can be a stupid dealbreaker...just as weight, crooked teeth, flat chest etc. If thats the case it wasn't meant to be. Look, we all have our "ideals"....I have been turned down because my "girls" are small, I don't have a rock hard body, I wasn't tall enough, I wasn't short enough, wrong hair color, and because my cloths smelled musty (old house...true story). I have been turned down because of my job, my religion or lack there of, because I have cats (don't even go to the crazy cat lady comments), horses, because I don't have the best skin (thank you puberty for hitting at 40), I am not stylish enough...shall I keep going. People just have their stuff...and thats their problem, you are choosing it to be yours. Sometimes people are closed minded yes, they have an ideal and believe that is all they can be attracted to (yeah, and that works out great for guys or gals that keeps dating the same type over and over again and wonder why they are still alone...hmmmmm) but then there are those who are smart enough to open themselves up to trying all the different flavors..they still may find they are only attracted to those ideals but many realize that they really weren't so important afterall.

[todreaminblue]

For F-sakes, everybody is right...and wrong.

 

To the gent that feels challenged by his height: GET OVER IT. Whether there is a statistic that backs up your belief that shorter men can't get dates I don't know but really does it matter anyway. Will getting everyone to agree that dating for you sucks make everything better? Do you want sympathy or are you just bitter? Until you get over this stupid roadblock in your mind, you are right, you will not get dates. Women don't have as much issue with height as guys thinks....its the complex that some times comes with it that is the turn off. Don't you dare ever whine about your height or the fact that you feel it has held you back in the dating game...seriously, we don't want to hear it. Be you, be confident and be willing to accept that yes it can be a stupid dealbreaker...just as weight, crooked teeth, flat chest etc. If thats the case it wasn't meant to be. Look, we all have our "ideals"....I have been turned down because my "girls" are small, I don't have a rock hard body, I wasn't tall enough, I wasn't short enough, wrong hair color, and because my cloths smelled musty (old house...true story). I have been turned down because of my job, my religion or lack there of, because I have cats (don't even go to the crazy cat lady comments), horses, because I don't have the best skin (thank you puberty for hitting at 40), I am not stylish enough...shall I keep going. People just have their stuff...and thats their problem, you are choosing it to be yours. Sometimes people are closed minded yes, they have an ideal and believe that is all they can be attracted to (yeah, and that works out great for guys or gals that keeps dating the same type over and over again and wonder why they are still alone...hmmmmm) but then there are those who are smart enough to open themselves up to trying all the different flavors..they still may find they are only attracted to those ideals but many realize that they really weren't so important afterall.

 

 

keh?????

 

 

i thought this thread was about acceptance of differences from the opening post......why are you mad..opening two words for ****s sake......deb

[GirlontheLam]

Those are examples of exceptions to the rule. In general, you will be rejected because of your height.

 

And you're 5'7. That's not THAT short. Try being 5'4 (my height) and get back to me.

 

One of the hottest guys I have ever met was 5'5. Something like that? Basically my height. I think a tiny bit taller than me. (I am 5'4). And he was Indian! Defintely in the top 10 of people I have ever interacted with. (And I meet at least 200 people a year. Every year since age 18 and I am 34 now.)

 

And basically every woman I knew at the time/who met him later/etc thought he was great looking......He had tons of admirers.

[Allumere]

keh?????

 

 

i thought this thread was about acceptance of differences from the opening post......why are you mad..opening two words for ****s sake......deb

 

 

LOL...not mad at all, actually was laughing..its just how I talk. I got the intent of the thread but some drifts in here seemed a bit like a pissing contest on who has it worse or that person is wrong etc. which certainly made a sharp left from where the thread was headed. Look, we all have issues, problems, baises, and opinions in the dating/relationship realm. I have done my share of questioning, whining (yes, I can't stand it but I am guilty as others), extracting self esteem from the toilet, getting knock down a notch or two when deserved etc. But I agree totally with accepting or trying to accept differences and have an open mind. I think its important to acknowledge all the criteria (whether you like or not) and again not let the fact that others may not agree or may use a criteria against you hurt you personnally...it ain't about you.