sundrop Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 Is there hope? I have dated this guy for 2 years, I am 30 and he is 37. We started off as just hanging out buddies for a few months and our relationship gradually grew, into something great. His job takes him away from home Thursday through Sunday night, so we normally only get to spend Monday through Weds. nights together. To make a long story short, what I feel was out of the blue, he told me he needed his space. That he felt bad when he was around me, that I did a lot for him, such as help cook dinner, laundry, get chemicals for his pool, etc. and he did nothing for me in return. I told him he did all I needed him to do , which is spend tie w/ me and us do stuff together. It has been 2 months since the "breakup" occurred, and I have seen him on average about once every two months. We have had a serious conversation, because I can't let him go and he can't let me go. We both agree we are afraid of losing each other, but this is driving me crazy. I am an emotional wreck. He says I am his best friend, and he has had a hard time w/ the separation the last two months. I need some advice. I want him back. Is there any hope?
pixie2004 Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 Personally, I think that this is a mismatch. Do you really want someone that does nothing for you? Relationships (friendship as well) is about give and take...
She's Come Undone Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 Not only that, but I think that that's just an excuse. I mean if people want to be with someone they are with them, if he felt you did everything and he felt guilty about it, but he still wanted to be with you, he would have corrected the imbalance. Then I think he may be telling you he still misses you to ease his guilt. I dunno, maybe he really does, that would be nice eh?
ECVegas Posted September 2, 2004 Posted September 2, 2004 Sundrop, I think Pixie is right. Relationship is about give and take. It could be his feelings aren't as intense for you as they are for him, so he feels guilty that you are doing all those things for him. If he was in love with you, then he would be doing things back. I don't know what kind of work he does, but absence does make the heart grow fonder. Since you only saw him three days a week, there is no reason why he would really need "time away" from you. I was once in a relationship where I did most of the giving, she did most of the taking. She knew it, and made comments similar to your man as if wanting me to say "don't worry honey, it's OK." It eases their guilt. He obviously wasn't happy with you as "She's come undone" pointed out, or he would have stayed with you. Probably because you are too easy. He may have found someone away from your situation at the time that peaked his interest...was an effort for him to keep...and she took him away from you. Things probably aren't going too good for them right now, which is why he probably misses you. See, you are a strong personality, and he is weak. You are the pillar, and he needs someone like you to lean on. You may go back to him and that may make you happy for now. But in time someone else might come along that is that challenge again, and you may have to endure this hurt all over again. Or, you could realize that you need to be in a relationship with someone that allows you to be your loving, giving self...and that person will appreciate you for who you are...not take advantage of the fact that you are giving...and is even able to give in return. Your choice.
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