SuperSad09 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Quick back story: Engaged for 2 years, broke up in May of last year with lots of back and fourth. I finally started NC in Jan. I told myself I would only respond if he said "I love you, I miss you, I made a mistake, can we talk about reconcilliation" he tricked me once and I responded (he only has my email. Everything else is blocked) This is what he said the last time (after multiple attempts at reaching me): Can you please say something! Wanted to tell you your an amazing person and I'm sorry for how distant we have become. I felt you were only looking out for your self. That made me pull back, but I pulled back to much. Wanted to say sorry and hope all is well miss you <3 I will always have your back and here if you ever need me! I said: I am hesitant to give you my phone number because I don't know what your intentions are. What do you mean you "want to be in my life" as what? What does that mean? He Says: What do you mean you don't know what my intentions are? And I don't want to lose you from my life. I don't know what will happen what ever it is it will take sometime.back together or friends have to start somewhere. I say: Look, I going through a hard enough time as it is. Some major things have occurred in my life. I have said it before and I will say it for the last time - if you want to discuss our relationship and work on reconciling and getting back together I am open to talk to you. If you don't want that or if you don't know what you want, please do not contact me. Maybe we can be friends in a few years - I don't know. I will reach out to you if and when I ready for friendship. END I am SO done. Honestly, at this point even if he does repsond (he won't) I am done being his ego booster. It's pretty clear to me now he just enjoys "hooking" me and then he disappears. You should have seen some of what he was saying before I finally responded. I really believed he wanted me back. It hurts, but hopefully now I can really move on.
Author SuperSad09 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 oh yeah.. here is one more that got me to write him. What a d bag he is! "I'm not trying to play games I'm trying to be apart of your life. I don't want to lose you.im sorry for everything I did,I did not mean to push you this far away. Anyways I home you still want me to be apart of your life I miss you." of course as soon as I write back, he sings a different tune.
thekarmacist Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 next time, find a guy that understands the crucial difference between 'your' and 'you're', as well as 'to' and 'too'. oy. i agree with his point about starting the relationship with a friendship first.. 2
JourneyLady Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 oh yeah.. here is one more that got me to write him. What a d bag he is! "I'm not trying to play games I'm trying to be apart of your life. I don't want to lose you.im sorry for everything I did,I did not mean to push you this far away. Anyways I home you still want me to be apart of your life I miss you." of course as soon as I write back, he sings a different tune. Yes, the guy I am in NC contact with has done the same thing. Vagueness, always... Knowing how to write things so that we read what we are hoping for into it. We are Charlie Brown and they are Lucy with the Football, doncha know?! I've fallen for it half a dozen times. Very little change in him, and always when he starts some sort of new "self-improvement" project, he drops it after a little bit in favor of some "feel good" stuff that changes nothing. As for me, I'm done with mine unless he gets with the program I am studying (Marriage Builders). He has to actually participate and study it. Then for a relationship - (we've known each other five years), he'd have to have a solid stable life and ask me to marry him before I'd even consider dating him again. I finally had to get an intermediary because I still have some business with him to deal with (pet, lease, etc.). He's unlikely to make any real changes because he avoids responsibility. They try to hang onto us because we're the fallback girl... Stay strong - don't fall for the football! 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Yeah...best to start a new email and rid any form of temptation.
Author SuperSad09 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 next time, find a guy that understands the crucial difference between 'your' and 'you're', as well as 'to' and 'too'. oy. i agree with his point about starting the relationship with a friendship first.. First off, his grammar (or lack there of) always bothered me!! Ugh!! 2nd I agree, more now than ever that a relationship should start as a friendship, but I have tried being friends with him and 1. He will make plans and then no show (it's like an ego thing for him) 2. I am still not ready to be a "friend" as much as I hate this, I miss him in a more than friends way. I feel like if he wanted me back he would say lets work on things (maybe not get back together right away) but lets move forward with caution. He doesn't say that he wants "something" but he is unclear about what that is. Errrrrr!!!!!!
thekarmacist Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 if someone treats you in a way that you wouldn't accept from a friend, do NOT accept it from a romantic partner. period. he no-shows? time for you to no-show, like, permanently. you are too good for that crap, so stop selling yourself short. 3
D-Lish Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I agree with others, I'd let him go for being a bad speller first and foremost. Other than that, don't accept bread crumbs from anyone.
Author SuperSad09 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 if someone treats you in a way that you wouldn't accept from a friend, do NOT accept it from a romantic partner. period. he no-shows? time for you to no-show, like, permanently. you are too good for that crap, so stop selling yourself short. thank you *hugs* tonight is a rough night for some reason.
Author SuperSad09 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 I agree with others, I'd let him go for being a bad speller first and foremost. Other than that, don't accept bread crumbs from anyone. haha! Seriously! I always used to think to myself had I met him online or something first, it never would have went ANYWHERE! I can't stand poor punctuation! But, by the time I was in love with him it was too late. And yeah, I think he still doesn't know what he wants. Time to move on.
Author SuperSad09 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 Ok, not to beat a dead horse but I just got this last email. Do I write back?? I am so confused. I want to be back together but I wish he would just say that he wants to work towards reconciliation - even if he doesn't want to get right back together (I don't either) Or, should I ignore it? thoughts? This is what he wrote: (yes, his grammar and puctuation is TERRIBLE) First of all you did not want to marry me. I'm not jerking you around and look back on how you treated me. I don't make plans and cancel that you. You put everybody first. I canceled maybe four times. Sorry and every time I see you making love to you is not all I want to do.i miss you and want to see you and I want something to work but I just don't know how a relationship could work with out trying to talk first. I feel if we see each other you will bring up the past and we will start fighting again. I don't want that. How can we move on?
Chi townD Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Damn folks! I'm a terrible speller! I wonder what you guys PM each other about me!! To the OP. He was trying to friend zone you. And I have a feeling you kinda knew that. I don't agree with what he said about being friends first before a relationship can happen. Here's the rub, you two were already in a relationship. Therefore, being his friend is taking a step back. I'm sure you didn't loving and caring relationship just to be his friend. You were ready to stand at the altar and pledge yourself to this man for the rest of your life before God, family and friends. And...now....he just wants to be.....your friend. Not your partner in life. Not your second half. Not your husband......just your friend. Sorry dude. get bent. And finally! SPELLERS OF THE WORLD, UNTIE!!!!! 2
Mack05 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I agree with others, I'd let him go for being a bad speller first and foremost. Other than that, don't accept bread crumbs from anyone. thets not goop newz for me in da foture
destroyed4sho Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Ok, not to beat a dead horse but I just got this last email. Do I write back?? I am so confused. I want to be back together but I wish he would just say that he wants to work towards reconciliation - even if he doesn't want to get right back together (I don't either) Or, should I ignore it? thoughts? This is what he wrote: (yes, his grammar and puctuation is TERRIBLE) First of all you did not want to marry me. I'm not jerking you around and look back on how you treated me. I don't make plans and cancel that you. You put everybody first. I canceled maybe four times. Sorry and every time I see you making love to you is not all I want to do.i miss you and want to see you and I want something to work but I just don't know how a relationship could work with out trying to talk first. I feel if we see each other you will bring up the past and we will start fighting again. I don't want that. How can we move on? Sounds to me like he is willing to try, he is asking you HOW CAN WE MOVE ON? So humor him....you should right back WHAT IT WOULD TAKE FOR HIM TO GET YOU BACK....and write it ALL....even if it seems ridiculous. Make a list...and if he doesn't do everything on the list...just forget it. Remember Actions speak Louder than words. Don't get your hopes up and don't expect that he will do anything on the list....its been a long time.
Author SuperSad09 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 UGH. Ok, so against everyones good advice I wrote him back. I completely put myself out there and told him exactly what I wanted and that I thought we could be in love forever and that he is all I need/want. HE DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND. Not even to say, "I'm sorry I don't think it will work I am an ******* and said all the right things to you" Great. FML. Now I feel like I am starting all over again Last thing: After he did't respond for a couple days I wrote him a very angry, mean email (Not proud of this but whatever) and that he responds to within a couple hours! What a freak! I pour my heart out to you and get nothing in return, I am mean and cruel and I get a response! His response basically just said he was going to write back to my nice one and but he can't/won't because of the mean one I sent. I know I am acting insane. I just still miss something about him so much REALLY going to try super hard to move on now.
thekarmacist Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 i'm so sorry. like i said, though, he's a moron. if he can't figure out the difference between to and too, there, their and they're, its and it's, he's clearly too stupid to know what he's losing with you out of his life. what a jackas.s.
cavalier99 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Sorry. Anyways. Obviously your not trying hard enough. You NEED TO STAY 1000% NC. No reason to ever break it now. It is over. Your healing needs to be top priority. This communication is stopping your healing.
Recommended Posts