Would you Take your Ex back RIGHT NOW if they wanted you back?

[J_L_C]

My question is this: If someone was bad to you, do you think their new partner will ever see that side? If it's the right person, will it even come out?

 

As I've mentioned in my previous posts, my ex was honestly a great boyfriend until the breakup...and then all of his true colours came through. IF I had been 'the right girl' for him, do you think I would have ever seen these types of behaviours? It's a little bit scary to know that I never saw any of this until it went bad. What if we'd been together for 20 years and it suddenly came out then?

 

If he meets the right person, will she EVER see this scary side of him? Or was it just something about me that caused it to come out?

[Coping Vortex]

Njeanne-

So, he left you because you were doing an activity for the 1st 2 weeks of October? Sounds like an extreme reaction....I don't know if I would dump someone because they had an activity going on...it doesn't sound right.

Would you of dumped him if he had an activity going on? How can you want to get back with a person that dumped you over a weak reason like this??

 

mutantswordfish-I know she never loved me because the one who loves wouldnt just leave in this way

Yes, agree. I think some people may thing we "love hard" I do, and I am proud of it.

 

amelie, mcdo, coping vortex- how can you trust them after dumping you??!!

Wouldn't you be afraid that they would do this AGAIN?

 

jiggy- did you break up with him or he dumped you?

 

Everyone else that said no, your awesome!, logic is taking over your emotions and your one step closer to the all desired indifference stage!

 

Because the reason she dumped had to do with te fact she never thought I was going to move in with her and take the relationship to the next level. I had fears due to her just getting divorced her kids her ex husband issues. But we had talked about that after the BU she understood my issues and fears. But she was already seeing someone new by then. Just a timing thing. She thought she had to move on at the time But we never fell out of love for each other. We both know we could pick this up again given the chance. But unfortunately due to timing once again it will probably never happen.

Edited March 19, 2013 by Coping Vortex

[Biscous]

Possibly IF she moved here, instead of half assing it. I told my ex, in order for her to make it work, she would have to move here.

 

We were LDR. Different phases in life right now, etc.

 

I'm saying this because I seriously doubt she would take that big leap to try and be together.

[Thunderchild]

Simple answer - NO! - She cheated on me after 5 years and fell pregnant to the other guy. It took her (at least) two months of stringing me along before she admitted to it, and tbqh, if she hadn't been pregnant I suspect she would have continued stringing me along. Well, now I don't trust her, I don't believe her - the two month delay suggests that there was more to the "Xmas Party Incident" than she is admitting to, and for all I know she was cheating throughout our entire relationship. I also have no respect for her whatsoever. A selfish (she has her baby now, she doesn't give a monkeys about anything else, and apparently has very little/no regret about gaining what she wanted by cheating and deception). She's immature (at 44 years old), lazy (because cheating is lazy way of ending a relationship) and a coward.

 

She refused/failed to take responsibility for her actions at the break up - which I challenged - and she trotted out the usual litany of excuses that a manipulative cheater uses. In short, she was a "victim of circumstances" brought about by no fault of hers. Basically, it was all my fault that she cheated - according to her.

 

Then, she has the baby which would be a constant reminder of her unpardonable behaviour/actions. That would also mean that the father might well want access creating even more strain on any new relationship.

 

No - there's no way in the world I would consider her again.

[MsIndependent1]

Sometimes I think about it. But at the end of the day he cheated on me twice. Disrespected me to no end and lied like that was his form of oxygen. So Nope! Wouldn't take him back. He would have to do a complete 360 and in my opinion it's not even worth the effort. Rather just move on and find someone that believes in morals.

[h3braica]

i wouldn't take him back. waited for him for 10 yrs, proposed a marriage and dumped me just because his son don't like me. dumped me 2 days after my surgery the most difficult time of my life! who would want a man like him?

[singme2sleep]

I would take him back but he'd have to prove over time that he's fully committed and won't leave again.

[BUBS]

Depends on what day you are asking. Some days I can't stand him... I can see the concrete version of who he has become, what his actions have done to distort my life, and I just want to either never see him again, or beat the crap out of him. Other days I see him for what he was, for the way I felt with him versus how I've feel during this break up... for the life I "could have" had with him or even "should have" had with him... those days I want him back. It's a bipolar roller coaster... the only people who can't be trusted in these things are the dumpees... we don't know what the hell we want or feel.. it's like a single life crisis and we are just holding on for dear life hoping for clarity.

[Drummerboy420]

Right now? Honestly no. And it hurts to say that. She is a hot mess right now. Trying to replace me, but doesn't want to lose me out of her life forever. Thinks we can be friends someday. Cried when I said goodbye indefinitely (and in my opinion, for good. I know she's not coming back). I don't need this ****. Go confide in your new little infatuation. At least I left with my dignity. I am not a fallback. Maybe years down the road if she changes her crazy ways. But who knows.

[TheBladeRunner]

Not a chance. She asked me back early on (she cheated on me) and I had to say no. For one, I knew that "I" could not ever get over that she went outside the marriage and too much had gone on for too long. And second, I knew she would NEVER do the work required to heal our marriage. She can't even get her own act together, how can I expect her to deal with a broken marriage?

 

I proved my point to myself when I look at how she lives her life now; a lot of partying, her personal life is in disarray, and she is already looking for another victim.......I mean relationship to fill HER empty void. You can't fill someone else's emptiness, they must be whole on their own. JMO

[sweetkiwi]

Heck no. Even before I met my amazing boyfriend I would never seriously consider getting back with him. He can't communicate and doesn't know himself at all. Besides I could tell in his kiss he wasn't in love with me. When I called him out on it he said nothing...

 

That crushed me and I vowed to never stay in a relationship like that again. Going back would be the worst kind of emotional masocistic crap I could ever do to myself.

 

Besides. Now that I've met my honey I can't remember why I ever settled for less than the utmost respect and understanding and love.

[calgary]

i've just crossed over from loving her completely.. to absolutely hating her.. and that's bad I need to feel indifferent. right now I feel betrayed, I feel a fool, I feel like I wasted my time.

I want to forget every memory I ever had with her.

[cincinnatikid]

It's been quite a long time. They do say time heals wounds. The question would be how much as healed since. If getting back together would be like ripping off a scab, then no. It would have to be felt out, one fierce conversation at a time. I would have my doubts. I know she is happy (I hope) with a new man. I definitely have no desire to play a spoiler. Things need to happen naturally.

 

My take is to continue to live my life and do what I want to do. Only time will tell. I don't spend time holding out hope.