quietGuy13 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Hello everybody. Uhm. Well i've approached some girls before to make conversation. And that takes guts for me cause i'm not a good speaker and i'm not social. I'm a quiet person but i try sometimes. Mainly with foreign girls cause that's less scary. But anyways, seems they always when i try to say hi or small conversation. They don't want to speak to me. or they do , then it's all a lie and after they leave they never contact me again. But not just foreign girls, from other stories i hear, women think guys are creepy. It doesn't make sense to me. How the heck am I supposed to find a date if Women don't want to be approaoched. Since I am meeting them for the first time, i always going to be a stranger. So it's the same no matter what. What's the difference in me metting them in a public them and approaching them vs meeting them at school or jobs. Are we all losing social skills nowadays? One of the best examples of How People can have successful friendships and contacts from Approaching in public places is Mexican people. They always approach eachother even though they're strangers and start talking and get into long conversations then they become friends. So why Americans or foreign Asians think meeting strangers is necesarily dangerous? Your classmate can be as dangerous as a stranger. you don't really know..But you still talk to him. So why not a stranger guy in public places?
RedRobin Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I don't think men who are strangers are necessarily bad... I have to network with 'strangers' all the time in my work. Business/work credentials are relatively easy to check. Personal ones, not so much. I don't date strangers because I'm not interested in going through whatever it takes to sort them out. Not only is it a waste of my time, I've allowed them access to my life in some way for a very low probably of return on my investment in getting to know them. Not worth it. 1
Krieger Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 It is all about location location . If your a wine tasting event approaching a woman is a good idea . Walking up behind a woman jogging and trying to talk to her bad idea . college/school , airport bar , a social event , and dinner party.Some place are not a good idea as well.
Author quietGuy13 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 I don't think men who are strangers are necessarily bad... I have to network with 'strangers' all the time in my work. Business/work credentials are relatively easy to check. Personal ones, not so much. I don't date strangers because I'm not interested in going through whatever it takes to sort them out. Not only is it a waste of my time, I've allowed them access to my life in some way for a very low probably of return on my investment in getting to know them. Not worth it. So who do you date? Only guys who your friends INtroduce you to? Ok well what if i don't have friends. I have to get friends. AND FRIENDS are strangers at first. So they won't want to talk to me cause I"m a stranger. Oh man this is complicated as he**
apple OR orange Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Generally speaking, if a woman says you where "creepy" it means your not the type for them. If you get this from 10 women in a row i would give up, your not the type women go for, best to take the hint if thats the case and stop trying. I only do things i am good at, being social isnt one of them so i never do social activities anymore (well over 15 years), i have accepted being single no friends, however my mind is in a better place as i dont keep getting stabbed in the face by everyone.
RedRobin Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 So who do you date? Only guys who your friends INtroduce you to? Ok well what if i don't have friends. I have to get friends. AND FRIENDS are strangers at first. So they won't want to talk to me cause I"m a stranger. Oh man this is complicated as he** Yes, I only date people through my social network or ones I know of in some way professionally. Yes, you will need to learn how to find friends. Find activities you enjoy. Take some classes. Volunteer. There is a young man in the ballet class I take. When he first started out a couple of years ago, he was quite awkward and shy. He now confidently talks to me and the other ladies in the class. He moves with more confidence and poise... AND... I really got a kick out of him giving me the eye the other day. Not because I think he's interested... but because I'm very happy for him that he's progressing so well in his confidence level. I gave him a playful "oh, you are flirting with me now, are you?" look. He just smiled. Yep, he is definitely coming along nicely... He's like a puppy with big feet, but definitely growing into them. A real sweetheart. If I knew someone close to his age, I'd definitely set him up! Edited to add: I'm not discouraging you from making cold approaches. Just explaining why I don't respond to them.
Lani Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 What are you talking about when you approach them? This could be a major problem, because I know if a guy comes to talk to me and doesn't say something to get my attention pretty quickly then I lose interest. And where is this approaching happening?
hppr Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 It's all in how you approach, and how good looking you are. If you are a well-dressed guy with good body language you will get better responses than a guy who has poor body language and poor fashion sense. So while women in America do seem to be a lot more uptight/impolite than women I've met in other countries you can still pull it off but the odds are against you because: talking to a girl you don't know is exactly that. Until she proves herself to be a person worth knowing she's just another ***hole. So don't expect anything to happen out of talking to a random girl to whom you are attracted. PS - I bolded that part for a reason, read it over and over until you get what I'm saying. Walking up to random women isn't a good way to meet women, do it through friends and work where you are a known quantity and know a bit about them beforehand.
hppr Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Yes, I only date people through my social network or ones I know of in some way professionally. Yes, you will need to learn how to find friends. Find activities you enjoy. Take some classes. Volunteer. There is a young man in the ballet class I take. When he first started out a couple of years ago, he was quite awkward and shy. He now confidently talks to me and the other ladies in the class. He moves with more confidence and poise... AND... I really got a kick out of him giving me the eye the other day. Not because I think he's interested... but because I'm very happy for him that he's progressing so well in his confidence level. I gave him a playful "oh, you are flirting with me now, are you?" look. He just smiled. Yep, he is definitely coming along nicely... He's like a puppy with big feet, but definitely growing into them. A real sweetheart. If I knew someone close to his age, I'd definitely set him up! Edited to add: I'm not discouraging you from making cold approaches. Just explaining why I don't respond to them. she beat me to it. Cold approach, pickup artist stuff...it's no way to really meet women. Good for getting over phobias or learning how to talk to people but again, there are easier ways to get that sort of experience.
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 As a woman who dates through cold approaches, I can honestly say that if women are acting creeped out by you... it isn't the woman... you are probably coming off creepy. 2
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 No, I don't. I just try to be careful no matter what
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