Dirtyeggroll Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 So I have been talking to my ex again. So far we have been just having NSA sex and have agreed to take things slow and whatever happens happens. We broke up last summer and since school started in the fall we have been on and off hanging out talking about a relationship etc. I talked to her yesterday and she said "I'm just trying to decide if I want to get into a relationship again but it's so frustrating because my feelings are so up and down I just don't know what to think. It's like I know what I want for a second and then boom it changes and idk what I want again. I have been in the fence about this because when I'm with you I like it but then when I'm out with my friends I like having no worries. I just want the best of both worlds but I know I can't have it. I think about dating again but then I don't want to have to worry about texting you every second when I'm out with my friends and be wondering like what you are doing and **** like that." She has seriously been feeling this way for the past 6 months. She can't decide what she wants and after reading up on a thing called relationship OCD or ROCD, I am starting to wonder if she has a real problem. She is insecure because of what her exs did to her by cheating on her and stuff like that. But this just doesn't seem normal that after 6 months she still doesn't know what she wants to do. I will be honest im so fed up with it but I still enjoy the sex and we have a blast just hanging out. So idk should I bring up the possibility of ROCD or does it not sound like it? Thank you.
Lani Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 It sounds to me like she's worried about you smothering her. If you were in a relationship with her, would you allow her to be independent? And when she is out with her friends, leave her to have that night out without her having to text you the whole time? It's ok to want the best of both worlds, and I really think that's what she's doing here.
Author Dirtyeggroll Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 I have never been the controlling bf. there was one time when we were dating where I let her hang out with her ex bf for god sake. I will admit however that when she goes out with her friends I like her to text to me to keep me updated on what she's doin because my mind wanders but I am no way controlling and she knows that.
Archgirl Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 If you've had a crappy relationship, you dont have good associations with them and you've usually noticed how much happier you are since that realtionship ended. It makes it hard to see the good in formal relationships, coz if you're not analysing it, all they mean is pain and not getting to do whatever (and in my case whoever ) you want whenever you want. She's been burned, it makes some of us a little nuts and commitmentphobic. Be patient, be kind, be consistent and don't take it personally if you really want her, let her do some of the directing where you guys are going.
SmileFace Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 No it sounds to like she isn't interested enough. She either wants to be with you or not. Stop allowing her to pussy foot around. Cut contact - since it doesn't seem like relationship is going to happen. See if she will come back. However it seems like she wants to be free - so don't be mad when she is banging some guy when out with her friends, best of both worlds baby. I am sorry 6 months is more than enough time. She doesn't need any more stop playing friend.
pbjbear Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Being insecure due to being cheated on in the past + NSA sex with an ex (who will prob end up stringing her along...afterall, isnt that why youre doing NSA sex?) is a recipe for disaster
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