The Question Every Guy Wonders

[Slumpd]

Hows it going guys? So I recently found this forum about a week ago, and after reading some of the threads in top comments, including a long one from '08 that was (probably?) a troll, I was impressed and decided to sign up. 70k some threads about dating is impressive.

 

Anyway, here's my question: If a girl initiates conversation with you in public place, is she interested?

 

I ask this because I recently met a girl at my local community college while smoking. It's a tobacco free campus, and there are only a few designated areas that you are allowed to smoke in, about the size of a bus stop with no benches. So I was smoking alone when, lets call her R, walked into the box as I call it and lit up. I thought she was cute and tried to think of something to say, but choked pretty much. After a few seconds she broke the ice by making a comment about how no one is going to find a parking spot this late. I was relieved and immediately thought it might be a sign because women don't usually talk first(and I wouldnt call myself ugly). The convo pretty much took off after that and we chatted for about 10 min, and she sat on the ground during this time which sort of seemed like comfortable body language to me. Alot of smiles and what not. After this my female friend S from high school walked over and started talking to us. She introduced herself to R, at which time I asked for R's name (didnt know it yet) and S laughed and commented that she thought we knew each other, so maybe we had some visible chemistry. Anyway we walked to our classes and I said from a distance that thatll be the spot on tuesdays and thursdays (only in class those days), and S said ok but R didnt say anything.

 

So thursday rolls around and I didnt see R because both of us cut class to go to a victory parade for our local team that just won the superbowl(not together lol). 200k people trying to get into a stadium that only held 70k people, it was nuts. Tuesday she was at the spot, and conversation went pretty well again, and she showed me pictures on her phone for a couple minutes of her and her friend at the stadium. My friends J and K walked over, who are a couple, and the 4 of us talked until we had to walk to class, again. However thursday she wasnt there, and I asked J if he thought she liked talking to me or if she was just trying to smoke, and he said he thinks she was just trying to smoke. Tomorrow is tuesday so I'll see what happens.

 

So the great debate rages, if a girl in your 'league' and age group starts talking to you,(generally speaking) do you think she's interested?

 

And do you guys think R is into it, or is she just trying to smoke like J says?

 

Other details: I'm 20, she seems about 19. I got out of a long-termer a lil more than a month ago so I'm a little rusty. All feedback is appreciated.

[pteromom]

Honestly, there is no way to tell from this. If it was just the two of you outside smoking, it would be pretty awkward NOT to talk to you.

 

Next time you guys go out there at the same time, why not just ask her out casually? "Hey my friends J and K and I are going to (coffee place, concert, movie, etc) on Saturday. Would you like to hang out with us?"

 

Then if she says yes, you can get to know her better and gauge her interest from there.

[Slumpd]

Yea true I guess you guys wouldn't be able to tell. Still feels weird putting my situation in front of strangers on the internet. But if I see her in the next few days i'll try to make plans.

[StanMusial]

Just from the way the scenario reads in your post, it seems like an innocent conversation. Try to flirt with her a little bit. Ask her if she has a boyfriend. See how she reacts and let things play out from that angle.

[pteromom]

Still feels weird putting my situation in front of strangers on the internet.

 

Hang around. You'll get used to it.

[Slumpd]

Hang around. You'll get used to it.

 

haha i plan on it. like i said this forum looks pretty useful and it seems like everyone gives their honest advice

[Krieger]

 

if a girl in your league

 

 

 

This is not fantasy football there are no leagues .

 

It is all about going after what you want . If you like a girl talk to her and ask her out.

 

I just do not buy into the whole she out of my league thing.

 

dam I wish I was in my early 20s so may things I would do differently.

[Slumpd]

This is not fantasy football there are no leagues .

 

It is all about going after what you want . If you like a girl talk to her and ask her out.

 

I just do not buy into the whole she out of my league thing.

 

dam I wish I was in my early 20s so may things I would do differently.

 

haha funny that you mention it, ive been playing FF for a few years and finished in first for the first time this year. but yea thats kind of what im thinking. I'm only 20 and just spent ~1.5 years with he last girl, so i just want to entertain every opportunity i guess

[Slumpd]

It's unfortunate that you are overthinking this issue at such a young age.

 

 

"there are only a few designated areas that you are allowed to smoke in, about the size of a bus stop"

 

just trying to paint a picture, lol

[MrCastle]

The question I always had was "why does it smell like that?"

[Archgirl]

No chick talks to a guy age appropriate that isnt ass-ugly and doesn't size him up for more tahn friends. So let's just say while she isn't interested yet...she also isn't uninterested.

she didn't need to walk to class with you, but i'd be careful to clarify the relationship with the other girl to her casually - the chemistry comment is fishing to see if you are taken/interested in the other chick. A good sign. Plus she could smoke elsewhere.

[outsidethebox]

I would say her showing you a pic of her and a friend at the whatever is either telling you she doesn't have a bf or has a gf, who knows. On other hand may not be clear to her what your intent with R is.

 

Nothing like making things really uncomfortable finding out. I would somehow manage to tick S and R off. So figure it could be worse whatever happens.

[Slumpd]

Nothing like making things really uncomfortable finding out. I would somehow manage to tick S and R off. So figure it could be worse whatever happens.

 

haha why would you want to tick them off?

 

and yea, "think less, do more" seems like a good solution for a lot of the threads on this forum.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Hows it going guys? So I recently found this forum about a week ago, and after reading some of the threads in top comments, including a long one from '08 that was (probably?) a troll, I was impressed and decided to sign up. 70k some threads about dating is impressive.

 

Anyway, here's my question: If a girl initiates conversation with you in public place, is she interested?

 

I ask this because I recently met a girl at my local community college while smoking. It's a tobacco free campus, and there are only a few designated areas that you are allowed to smoke in, about the size of a bus stop with no benches. So I was smoking alone when, lets call her R, walked into the box as I call it and lit up. I thought she was cute and tried to think of something to say, but choked pretty much. After a few seconds she broke the ice by making a comment about how no one is going to find a parking spot this late. I was relieved and immediately thought it might be a sign because women don't usually talk first(and I wouldnt call myself ugly). The convo pretty much took off after that and we chatted for about 10 min, and she sat on the ground during this time which sort of seemed like comfortable body language to me. Alot of smiles and what not. After this my female friend S from high school walked over and started talking to us. She introduced herself to R, at which time I asked for R's name (didnt know it yet) and S laughed and commented that she thought we knew each other, so maybe we had some visible chemistry. Anyway we walked to our classes and I said from a distance that thatll be the spot on tuesdays and thursdays (only in class those days), and S said ok but R didnt say anything.

 

So thursday rolls around and I didnt see R because both of us cut class to go to a victory parade for our local team that just won the superbowl(not together lol). 200k people trying to get into a stadium that only held 70k people, it was nuts. Tuesday she was at the spot, and conversation went pretty well again, and she showed me pictures on her phone for a couple minutes of her and her friend at the stadium. My friends J and K walked over, who are a couple, and the 4 of us talked until we had to walk to class, again. However thursday she wasnt there, and I asked J if he thought she liked talking to me or if she was just trying to smoke, and he said he thinks she was just trying to smoke. Tomorrow is tuesday so I'll see what happens.

 

So the great debate rages, if a girl in your 'league' and age group starts talking to you,(generally speaking) do you think she's interested?

 

And do you guys think R is into it, or is she just trying to smoke like J says?

 

Other details: I'm 20, she seems about 19. I got out of a long-termer a lil more than a month ago so I'm a little rusty. All feedback is appreciated.

 

A lot of it depends on your height.

 

If you're short, the girl won't like you.

[Slumpd]

A lot of it depends on your height.

 

If you're short, the girl won't like you.

 

I'm 5'10". So I guess thats a coinflip? lol

[outsidethebox]

haha why would you want to tick them off?

 

and yea, "think less, do more" seems like a good solution for a lot of the threads on this forum.

 

defintely don't want to, yet somehow manage to tick them off. It's a gift.

[Archgirl]

haha why would you want to tick them off?

 

and yea, "think less, do more" seems like a good solution for a lot of the threads on this forum.

 

But then what would we all do of an evening mid-week when we just need someone else's problem to pick apart so we can avoid our partners/own problems/boredom?