Lizzy.123 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 My husband and I got married 5 years ago. I was 19 and he was 20. We were both in college at the time and in love. I recently graduated, but he is still trying to get out of college. He has a habit of not going to class. Sometimes when he wouldn't show up to something, I would have to be the one to make an excuse for him while he sat at home. He has never kept a steady job, so I have been the one to always work to pay bills. Sometimes I would work more than one job, and I would come home exhausted, only to find him sitting on the couch watching TV or playing a video game. The house would be a complete mess and the dogs wouldn't have been taking outside or feed. I feel that the stress of always being the person to worry about everything really brought me down. I felt so trapped and helpless. Every time we would fight I would tell him that I was leaving and going to divorce him, but he would always make me feel bad and I would never do it. He would tell me about how he would change and how sorry he was, and that he would do better, but he never kept his promises. To this day he has failed several classes more than once, doesn't have a job, and continues to tell me he loves me. So one day he went to school and I packed all of my things and left before he got home. I felt that if I did it while he was away, his sad stories and promises about changing wouldn't sway me to stay. Well ever since I left and moved in with my parents, he has called me, texted, Facebooked, and emailed me with the promise that he wants to change and make things right. They sound sincere, but it's so hard to believe him this time, Because I've heard it all before. I filed for divorce and am just so insecure about the situation. I do love him, but it is so hard to forgive 5 years of bad marriage. I feel bad for him because my feelings have changed and his haven't. We don't have any kids, a house, or credit card debt. We really don't have anything because we are both still young and I am fresh out of college. I would think that the 5 years of worrying about money, jobs, bills, dogs, house work, and school would've scared me away, but I still feel like I'm doing him wrong. I think for myself I want nothing more than to find someone who will just drive that two lane road with me and make me feel comfortable in my own skin again. I just think that he can't do that for me or maybe I'm just young and stupid. I am turning 25 in April.
Jstub Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 (edited) Your problem is simple. He is a lazy ass child. You are acting like his mommy. He has taken you for granted and you have allowed it. All your threats were empty threats so far, and he thought he could just get his way by just making you feel bad. You are just enabling him to be a spoiled little bit***. Pretty convenient. Sit lazy, play video games and get laid once in a while. Any teenager's dream... Now, his promises for change etc will probably get more and more, but if you return, he will just go back to his old ways. Now, here is my opinion. If you really would want to stay with him IF HE CHANGES, then don't completely give up on him yet. Don't stop the divorce either - it's good pressure for him to wake the hell up. Most importantly, do not return home and stay with your parents and live your life. You can communicate to him that you need to see REAL CHANGES FAST. Set your conditions. He needs to show you in actions and not words. Talk is cheap. I bet playing video games is not so fun at the moment for him. You can be sure he is not touching that ****. Good luck. You are still very young (not that I am old.. i am just 30) and your whole life is waiting for you. Don't think of it too much.. no kids is a big plus ---- don't know about student loans though. Edited February 18, 2013 by Jstub
GuyInLimbo Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 IMO, it should be illegal to get married before 25 anyway. But I digress... You were way too young when you got married in the first place, and clearly this guy is still a child. Don't waste your time with him anymore. Get rid of him, find yourself and move on.
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