n0de Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I think I'll preface this by saying that she and I are both high school students, and that we met in mid-2011. I'll try my best to keep it concise because let's be honest, huge walls of texts are just skipped right over. My (now ex-)girlfriend, who we'll call "Megan," and I began dating back in the fall of 2011. To be quite honest, neither of us were ready for a relationship and we ended it mutually after only a few months, on fairly good terms; not much was lost. Come New Year's Eve 2012, I received a friendly text from her asking how I was doing, what was new in my life, blah blah blah—I myself wasn't ready to rekindle anything, and we remained friends throughout most of the year until the end of the summer (all the while she apparently retaining feelings for me). As the school year was approaching, I became more and more interested in Megan. She and I had *everything*. Common interests, strong personalities, and more importantly, a desire to be with one another. To make a long story short, the first 90% of the relationship went, well, almost mindnumbingly well. Then...things changed. She and I loved each other more than ever, and I jumped at the opportunity to join a musical with her after being asked about it. What better way to spend more time together? How wrong I was. I put myself in a position where I was forced to see her every day, and she was becoming more and more...dissatisfied. I'll be 100% with you, I'm not the most confident guy in the world, but I'm not a loser by any means. All of this time together, combined with the *immense* stress that was put on her to perform well, drove her away. After fighting for almost the entirety of this past week, I decided to sit her down (Skype was the closest I could get at that point) and find out what was wrong. She confessed to me, after a bit of prying, that she felt smothered and needed her space. I was a bit offended at first, but in retrospect (and even during the relationship) I know that I truly was a bit too clingy. She broke up with me this past Sunday, saying that she had kind of "lost the romantic spark" that we used to have together. This was told to me over the internet, so you can damn well believe that I'm a bit ticked off about that. ------ IF YOU'RE IN A HURRY ------ I'm starting to focus more on improving myself (ie, lifting weights/running more often). I want to give her the space and time that she needs (and currently am). Is it too late to turn back, and if I do, is maintaining no contact the best method? I'm not looking to be friends, I'm looking to fix my mistake. Eh so uh...so much for concise. Help? TL;DR: C'mon don't be lazy. (no really) TL;DR: Became too clingy towards the end, is no contact the best option?
Skalabanan Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 The romantic spark going is the biggest concern in this situation. Give her space to have a think and start to miss you but more importantly work on yourself, I know it may seem a typical ls response but its unfortunately very true.
Author n0de Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 The romantic spark going is the biggest concern in this situation. Give her space to have a think and start to miss you but more importantly work on yourself, I know it may seem a typical ls response but its unfortunately very true. Thanks for confirming my suspicion. How long is too long to wait? I'll be coping with it myself in the meantime, but there is still some arbitrary window of time, right?
Diesel_Power Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I'm in your shoes exactly... just a couple months ahead of you. My ex girlfriend and I started dating and we joined an officer team together at school thinking everything would be fine. That was a huge misconception. We had a great relationship, but it went to heck right before Christmas when she said she needed her space because she, like you said, "smothered." We broke up and I tried upholding no contact, but gave in after a week and told her I missed her, wanted her back, blah, blah, blah. DON'T DO THAT. It was a big mistake and made things more awkward. I flat out quit talking to her whatsoever, even being we were on the officer team together. That was a good deal. We both went our separate ways and I spent all my time with my friends, and so did she. We hadn't said two words to each other up until about 2 weeks ago. It was interesting because all awkwardness was gone as soon as we started to talk because of the no contact. The longing for each other had grown in that no contact period. I'm still not back with her, but things are going well. We have a date planned and we are flirty with each other once again. I'm still keeping my texting with her to a minimum just to show her that she's not the only thing on my mind, even though she is. She can't know that. So if I could say anything, don't be afraid of breaking contact and avoiding her at all costs, even if it's for a couple of months. Give her time to be alone, figure things out, and if things were good between you two, she will start to long for you again. Meanwhile, go have fun with your friends, flirt with some other girls (nothing seriously), and get your "swag" back. lol She will see you improve and you will get her back one step at a time. It's a slow process, but if you're like me, it's worth it to get that special girl back. Good luck and hopefully things work out for both you and me!
Author n0de Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 Wow that's eerily similar, thanks for sharing dude. I sincerely hope things work out for the both of us (must sound strange from a random internet guy but hey). So I was pretty much spot on with my no contact idea, under ANY circumstances? It'll be rough but I think I'll pull through, gotta regain my god damn self-respect. And hey, if you ever have a problem or just flat out wanna talk about this, you know where to go. *raises hand shamefully* I'm kinda curious as to how this turns out for you.
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