AlexfromBoston Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 FYI, one of my friends had issues with being "tied down", he was 42. He went to a psychologist that used CBT on him. Soon enough he married his gf, now has 2 kids and couldn't be happier!! He says that marriage is the best thing that happened to him. Just some info, in case you want to change in the future. Well I am much younger than 42 and I am enjoying the single life. I go out every weekend with buddies, meet a new girl each weekend and just enjoy life. Different strokes for different folks. I enjoy being single, so I won't put another girl through emotional torment while I am out having fun.
AlexfromBoston Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 what if she is the sort to never be friends with ex's or had never got back with an ex before? does that mean there is no chance then. or there is a first time for everything. You are really going to want to go NC for like 3 weeks. Then shoot her an email saying, "Hey *Jane Doe*, these past three weeks I have grown a lot and feel much better about our situation. I now not only agree with our breakup but support it. That said, you played a huge part in my personal growth and impacted my life in a way that you probably don't even realize. I know realize and understand my flaws and mistakes that I have made and plan on correcting these issues in my next relationship...so thank you. You are a special person and you deserve someone really special. I want to let you know that I will always be there for you no matter what, as a friend. Love always *John Doe*". She will naturally respond to this message and you sort of go from there. Don't jump to her texts or calls and play it cool like you are over her. If she ignores you email then sorry amigo, its game over. In those three weeks of NC, workout like mad, clear up your skin and invest in some nice clothes. Don't anticipate a second encounter but be prepared for one. In the interim, start meeting new women...and get laid.
AlexfromBoston Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 what if she is the sort to never be friends with ex's or had never got back with an ex before? does that mean there is no chance then. or there is a first time for everything. Lol, and to answer your question, nobody can predict what she will do. Maybe you will be the first man to get a second shot. But build up that confidence. You ever walk into a bar/club, grocery store, mall, etc and see a guy and say, "wow, theres a guy who never gets laid"? Go out and have fun and lay the ol' proverbial pipe to some floozies. This will make you feel better and your demeanor will exhibit an aura that screams, "I am getting laid and I don't need or want you back". Good luck buddy.
TaraMaiden Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Sososad There is nothing written anywhere that states a second chance wouldn't work. But the circumstances have to be absolutely spot on and right for it to happen - and every situation is different. Put it this way, I doubt any guy would desperately want a second chance with an ex- who slept with 4 different guysm, got pregnant by one of them, and took drugs, and i doubt any lady would want a second chance with a raging alcoholic who beat her and was residing in a Max-security prison, to use 2 extremes..... Take a look at this thread - but pay very, very careful attention to the contents of the first post. 1
calgary Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Sososad There is nothing written anywhere that states a second chance wouldn't work. But the circumstances have to be absolutely spot on and right for it to happen - and every situation is different. Put it this way, I doubt any guy would desperately want a second chance with an ex- who slept with 4 different guysm, got pregnant by one of them, and took drugs, and i doubt any lady would want a second chance with a raging alcoholic who beat her and was residing in a Max-security prison, to use 2 extremes..... Take a look at this thread - but pay very, very careful attention to the contents of the first post. I just couldn't be with my ex if she'd been with somebody else. it would mess with my mind. I would think about it daily!
mcdo Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I just couldn't be with my ex if she'd been with somebody else. it would mess with my mind. I would think about it daily! What if you had also been with someone else? Fair is fair right? 2
HKcolon Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I ignored my ex for 3 months 'out of the blue' (He had been abusive). He told me he 'never begs for girls back' so when he was still trying to contact me for 3 months after I initiated NC, I felt like maybe I made a mistake. ~5 months later I realized I hadn't, and broke up with him once again. Breakups happen for a reason in my opinion.
big bear Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I just couldn't be with my ex if she'd been with somebody else. it would mess with my mind. I would think about it daily! I never thought I would beg a girl to take me back but I did. Life is a bitch full of surprises. Nothing is cast in stone.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 What if you had also been with someone else? Fair is fair right? Exactly. I think it's juvenile to have that as a consideration.
BLo7687 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Me and my ex dated on/off for 2 years. The first time I broke up with him was mostly due to his insecurities, jealousy, trust issues, and me having GIGS. I wanted to see what else was out there. He was really hurt by it. We were apart for 6/7 months. Around that timeframe where we were broken up, we were on LC. He usually would initiate contact. At that time, I went on dates with guys, partied, and messed around. I was still single. He would call/text and usually brag about who he was talking to and how many chicks he slept with. But I knew deep down inside he wasn't over me. He even started dating a girl just to make me jealous and he wanted me to fight for him. It did make me jealous and this kind of ticked me off and wasn't surprise just because he seemed like the type of person that needs to be with somebody/relationship. He dates this girl for a few weeks and when she leaves to go back to school out of state she cheats on him with her ex. He came running back to me and tells me he was never over me, always wanted to be with me, never wanted things to end, etc. He wanted to try things again and promised he would change his ways on how he acted. I gave him another chance. The 2nd time around things were a lot better. I was more open to him and he really chilled out with his insecurity issues. But obviously things still didn't work out between us because he broke up with me in Dec.
Addison312 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 The two people who have broken things off with me have both returned. They both ended up breaking things off again. I've also been the dumper a few times. I never attempted reconciliation or breadcrumbs. When I was ready to do it, I was pretty over it.
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