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I am doing the right thing by ignoring his breadcrumb, right?

Own Worst Enemy

By Own Worst Enemy
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Own Worst Enemy Established Member

Own Worst Enemy

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"I am still hoping you'll be friends with me" after 6 weeks NC is NOT "I made a huge mistake and I miss you." Logically I know this.

 

But predictably, emotionally I am now tempted to cling onto this like the life line that it isn't!

 

Am I right to maintain silence??????

iouaname Established Member

iouaname

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Yes, absolutely. Trust me, I know how hard it is :( But giving in to "being friends" when it isn't what you want only keeps you stuck in a position that you don't want to be in. You won't move forward with him, but you also won't move towards being happy by yourself, either.

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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YES

 

you are doing the right thing!

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H3Drvr Established Member

H3Drvr

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Hope you can disregard it as a breadcrumb....but if you do respond (which most of us do anyway lol) at least respond with something like "I will only be friends with my lover" or something to that effect.

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ScienceGal Established Member

ScienceGal

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Maintain NC!

 

Hoping to be friends, really!? That would only slow your progress and feed their ego. And, it's a completely selfish statement to make.

 

Stay strong! Do not give in to breadcrumbs.

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Own Worst Enemy Established Member

Own Worst Enemy

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Eeeeeeeek!

na49 Established Member

na49

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I got the "let's be friends" text too. I don't know but "let's be friends" doesn't sound like "let's try being more than friends again".

 

You still have feelings for him. You can't be friends with someone you have feelings for unless you like torturing yourself.

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LostGirl11 Established Member

LostGirl11

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He wants to be friends because that's all he wants and see's you as now. Don't settle for friendship. You'll be lying to yourself.

 

Plus, he called you fat. Lovely man, he'll be a true friend for life :o

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Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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Maintain silence. That message means nothing as far as reconciliation. In fact, it's one of the worst messages you can get if that's your goal.

soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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Yes, you're doing the right thing. Difficult, but hang in there....

Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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You know what? I think it is about time some guys knew how it works for us girls....

 

I would actually tell him " look, I do not want to be your friend because I have feelings for you, and it would really hurt me watching you date others and possibly get another girlfriend"

 

Ended with " if you actually care about me, you would not want to hurt me, and therefore would not want to be friends until I am overy you"

 

 

.....Some guys are clueless! Honestly, they think because they are over you and ready to date other people, that somehow they can salvage your bond that they DO miss, whilst dating other people..

 

TELL HIM HOW IT IS!

 

It is about time guys just knew what the go was....

 

Some DO but are heartless, however; many guys need to learn a lesson in this issue of being " just friends"

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Own Worst Enemy Established Member

Own Worst Enemy

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I want to send something along the lines of:

 

Thanks, but you are asking me to carry on being your best friend because I'm not good enough to date - whilst you go around looking for someone who is. And all this is based on looks. You can see why the answer is no.

 

If you ever realise what is truly important in a person, and will make you happy, then perhaps we can think about keeping in touch. Otherwise, it will always be a no.

 

I haven't sent it, I've come here instead!

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na49 Established Member

na49

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I want to send something along the lines of:

 

Thanks, but you are asking me to carry on being your best friend because I'm not good enough to date - whilst you go around looking for someone who is. And all this is based on looks. You can see why the answer is no.

 

If you ever realise what is truly important in a person, and will make you happy, then perhaps we can think about keeping in touch. Otherwise, it will always be a no.

 

I haven't sent it, I've come here instead!

 

You go girl! Don't send it! That would feed his ego and relieve his guilt. You don't need to tell him you don't want to be his friend. You just won't be his friend. Especially if you've been NC for some time.

cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

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Just stay NC. NEVER a bad choice. I wouldn't send that. Too much info. If you send anything it should be STOP STALKING ME AND GET A LIFE. WE ARNT FRIENDS AND WONT BE. GOOD BYE

SuperSad09 Member

SuperSad09

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I agree with not sending it. He may not even reply (and for some reason it feels so good when they are the ones who contacted last!)

 

Also, it is just a breadcrumb. It will only feed his ego and remind him he still has you 'hooked.

 

Feel good (momentarily) that you know he was thinking about you and keep on moving on!

 

You are doing great!!

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starsandsky New Member

starsandsky

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You could reply with: "We are sorry, but the subscriber you are trying to reach does not actually give a ****."

 

:rolleyes:

 

he deserves to get a reallity check.

 

I want to send something along the lines of:

 

Thanks, but you are asking me to carry on being your best friend because I'm not good enough to date - whilst you go around looking for someone who is. And all this is based on looks. You can see why the answer is no.

 

If you ever realise what is truly important in a person, and will make you happy, then perhaps we can think about keeping in touch. Otherwise, it will always be a no.

 

I haven't sent it, I've come here instead!

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