131313 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 (edited) I find myself using alcohol to get through these first couple weeks post BU. works pretty well as an escape mechanism. But I feel like maybe I'm drinking a bit too much. For those of you who smoke, do you think I'd be better off doing that? I haven't ever been into that stuff but I'm curious if it would help. Edited February 19, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Feelin Frisky Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Just keep asking yourself what would a winner do. 1
creighton0123 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I've been taking one beer a night as a mechanism for reducing anxiety and, well, because I like beer and would have 4-5 beers a week pre-BU. If you're drinking to reduce anxiety, I would recommend replacing that with herbal teas that are meant to reduce anxiety and enhance tranquility. 2
pteromom Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I have no issue with people smoking recreationally, but you really don't want to rely on external coping mechanisms. You need to work through it, not escape from it. 1
creighton0123 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I am pro-marijuana. It should not be illegal. I might suggest this, though: Use it with other people. That way, you're at least socializing.
iouaname Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I wasn't able to use alcohol immediately after the break up because it used to make me upset and emotional. I did (and still do), have some medications that I use to take the edge off of my anxiety and I've found that they've helped with coping with the anxiety because I don't feel the need to immediately reach for the phone and contact my ex. Eventually I'll no longer have these pills, but I'm hoping that by then I won't need them.
AlexfromBoston Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 You really have to endure and embrace the pain you are feeling. Pain is just weakness leaving the body. You will emerge from this experience a stronger, more experienced person. Don't drink to escape the pain, have a FEW drinks socially, as you are meeting new people and having fun. Instead of drinking when you feel stressed or anxious, drop down and complete a series of pushups, crunches and squats.
big bear Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I find myself using alcohol to get through these first couple weeks post BU. works pretty well as an escape mechanism. But I feel like maybe I'm drinking a bit too much. For those of you who smoke, do you think I'd be better off doing that? I haven't ever been into that stuff but I'm curious if it would help. I think you have never used Marijuana often before this. It will give you a depressive high after a point of time. In a group have it, you will love it. But do it alone and you are going to be more depressed than ever.
lullaby Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I have a friend at work who relied on alcohol to get through a BU, and it helped, yes. The problem now is that she uses alcohol as a mechanism for many situations in her life, it's the only way she finds and she's only scaping from it all. So, be careful what you use to feel better, whatever it is. I could recommend you to do some yoga and meditation, you won't believe how much it helps. It calms your mind and really makes you see things differently. I've practiced yoga and meditation during a BU and even if you get addicted to it, at least you're not filling your body with toxins. If you do want to try marijuana, just remember it will only bring you temporal wellbeing, and you will have to eventually face the situation. 1
stevie_23 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Technically (in my experience anyway), marijuana is better than drinking too much because you don’t get a hangover and it’s not damaging to your liver, however if you smoke too much it’s damaging for your lungs of course. Also, just be careful because it is VERY emotionally addictive. You don’t want to add to your problems by waking up in the morning and craving it, you know? 1
Phanpooh Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Weed help you deal with your needy emotions, but it won't let you deal with bu. At least it s better than alcohol. Stop smoking, and drinking either. I'm not your parent to ask you what to do or what you shouldn't. But if you want to cope, i prefer learn some kind of kungfu, kick boxing,... Stronger emotions, better you learn, and yes, the spirit of man will bring you other place. Where you don't need anyone for your life but wanting sth deserve you.
pureinheart Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Seriously, I've never known any substance that helps during a crisis mode, and believe me, I've tried many means of escape. BUT what did work was staying busy, activity releases endorphines...accomplishing something releases the same. This could be why some turn into workaholics though...and I did that too, but it did get me through the crisis better than anything. 1
PogoStick Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Of course things like exercise etc are great suggestions. But answering the OPs question, yes marijuana can be a great way to get your mind off things. You can zone out and watch TV or play some games. I also find it useful for some heavy thinking. Despite what others are saying, I feel it can actually help you work through your thoughts. Smoke up, go for an hour walk and let your thoughts flow. I also agree it's physically less harmful than drinking. You can smoke one night and still be functional the next day, unlike getting drunk. It can be addictive so set limits on usage and stick to it. Oh and stay away from that synthetic shtuff.
Author 131313 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 Thanks for all the replies. I know getting in the gym and staying busy are the healthiest ways to deal with this, and I am getting to the point where I will be mentally able to go back to the gym soon. We go to the same gym so I have been avoiding it, and thinking about finding a new gym rather than risk running into my ex. I haven't been drinking excessively, so I'm not worried about becoming dependent or developing a problem. And I did try the weed yesterday, and it did help. I was able to do some stretching, and it got me thinking differently, and also got me in bed by 9pm so I am well rested today. I don't really like it as a lifestyle choice, so also I think ill just use up what was given to me for a couple weeks and then not do it anymore again. I guess an alternative would be to go see the doc for some Xanax. I've never taken that either though, and at this point I'm already getting tired of alcohol. I think ill transition to this weed for a couple weeks, get through my move and stick with no contact, and I will be strong enough to get out and get healthy. New apartment, new gym, make new friends... all good. 1
RR1 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Hmmm, i'm not sure. I think weed when you are a lttle bit down can sometimes help and just take the dege off a bit. However, if you are very down then i think it can have a very bad effect, can make you paranoid and give you panic attacks. In short, i'd only recommend weed in small amounts and not too often, same for alcohol. They don't help to deal with emotions, they just mask the problems. Keep it to small amounts, and socially with people. Don't rely on it. 1
KathyM Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 It's not a good idea to use harmful substances as a coping mechanism. Alcohol and marajuana are addictive and can actually contribute to depression. They both have the effects on the body of being a depressant. They can also be addictive, and some people become addicted when going through a stressful time where they are using it as a means to cope with a difficult life event. I would suggest finding other healthier ways of coping with this loss, such as turning your energy to something beneficial to you or to others, or through meditation. Seeing a counselor may be beneficial to talk about your feelings of loss and she would also help you find healthier ways of coping with it. Some people turn to prayer and get comfort from their faith. Using alcohol as a coping mechanism can become a habit that is hard to break, and can seriously damage your life. There are much better methods of coping with loss. Alcohol, marijuana, or other drugs will just numb your feelings temporarily and make you more depressed in the long run. Don't resort to drugs as a coping mechanism. It's unhealthy, won't have the desired effects, will actually make your feelings worse in the long run, and can be habit forming.
yessy21 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I am PRO MARIJUANA. It is not something you should use to cope. TRUST ME. That means that your brain will become dependent on wanting to go get high. even though its not addicting. My suggestion... cope with the break up by writing about it. after that... rent a good movie and spark that Sh*t up.... 1
eastmcduck Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Hmmm, i'm not sure. I think weed when you are a lttle bit down can sometimes help and just take the dege off a bit. However, if you are very down then i think it can have a very bad effect, can make you paranoid and give you panic attacks. In short, i'd only recommend weed in small amounts and not too often, same for alcohol. They don't help to deal with emotions, they just mask the problems. Keep it to small amounts, and socially with people. Don't rely on it. I agree with this. I've been an avid smoker for over a decade and it does help with emotional distress to a degree. Only burn with good friends who you can laugh with and have a good time. If you smoke alone and in abundance, it can take you to some pretty dark places. Just don't make the mistake of isolating yourself like I have. The more you're alone getting stoned, the more paranoid, anxious and socially inept you may feel. Granted, everyone is different. I highly recommend it over alcohol. Vaporize or eat it if you don't want the lung damage.
Author 131313 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 It's all good, I'm already over this idea... It def helped the past 2 days to get me out of that psychotic obsessive stage, and I can recognize that it had its place and now it's time to try new things. But I appreciate the sense of calm it gave me, I can build on that naturally without the aid of any substance.
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