SteveC80 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 You see a lot of women here say they they want a man to take the lead some even question a guys manhood if he doesnt lead why is it such a big deal to a women? Children need to be led not adults..Why is it such a hinderance to you if i ask you where you want to eat? im not aksing you to split the atom.. Im a easy going guy in relationship and while i like to have my say at the same time theyrse times i dont care where we eat or where we go why does that mean to some women im not masculine enough? Does a man have ot make every decison for you? or do you not have an opinion of your own at all as an adult? I want a partnership i dont want a child i have to lead around and make most of the decisions for i dont understand women who want men to make most of their decisions in life i prefer a women with a backbone and an opinion of her own..
soccerrprp Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Women, most, I would imagine, need to know that they are secure with the man they are with. Someone who will take care of them, protect them, etc. Men who "take the lead" are viewed as such men. That's my guess. It doesn't mean that women want to me controlled. Just an assurance that when and if needed, the man will be able to take control, responsibility. 5
Keenly Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 From my anecdotal experience there exist women out there who quite literally feel they don't have to contribute or do anything to assist in the initiation, development, or upkeep of a relationship. They expect all of the following : Guy initiates first contact. Guy initiates first date. Guy makes first moves. Guy pays for the dates. Guy marries them. Guy provides for her while she stays at home. This is only based on three or so women I have personally met then genuinely think this way. Without a man doing this for them I sincerely believe they would be incapable of taking care of themselves. Good thing these women are few and far between.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 In almost every partnership, friendship, professional liaison, family, etc. there is someone in the "leadership" role, even if it's only by a slight margin, or maybe only in certain areas of the relationship while someone else leads in others. There ARE women who prefer to be at the helm in relationships. If this is what you prefer, find one for yourself. No need to get your panties in a twist because lots of women on LoveShack say they'd prefer for a man to take the lead. We've been socialized to approach dating that way, and some of us are just wired that way as well. People just need to pair off with other people who give them a lot of what they want and need. It's nothing to get all defensive and insulting about. Honest. 3
soccerrprp Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Women with such traditional views are not so uncommon in my experience. But, I certainly don't believe and have the same negative feelings about women. 1
ltjg45 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 As a male, it doesn't matter to me. I have no issue taking command and playing leader and I have no issue playing the follower either. Whatever is needed whenever is needed is what I would do.
runningfar Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 It's biblical, anyhow. Some people prefer a more dominant partner (men or women) and you don't need to worry about that because they simply won't date you. And they don't have to worry about it because they're are plenty of people matching that description who WILL date them. We all have our preferences. 3
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Women with such traditional views are not so uncommon in my experience. But, I certainly don't believe and have the same negative feelings about women. I agree with you. What I don't understand is why this question needs to be couched in all the negativity. Why? 2
TouchedByViolet Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 The women I talk to and have dated find planned dates and evenings very attractive. It is just something they enjoy and even find sexually attracting. They enjoy having a guy make the effort and take them out with a plan. Similar to how women generally want men to take the lead in the bedroom. It doesn't have to be the man leading 100% of the time but definitely the majority. As a guy I am totally happy to oblige. It doesn't have to do with laziness or acting like a child. Women just find it hot when men take initiative. 8
runningfar Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 The women I talk to and have dated find planned dates and evenings very attractive. It is just something they enjoy and even find sexually attracting. They enjoy having a guy make the effort and take them out with a plan. Similar to how women generally want men to take the lead in the bedroom. It doesn't have to be the man leading 100% of the time but definitely the majority. As a guy I am totally happy to oblige. It doesn't have to do with laziness or acting like a child. Women just find it hot when men take initiative. So is rape, polygamy, talking snakes, and magical Jews who can walk on water. Is there a point somewhere in that? Ha! It was just a comment because its nothing new, but your extreme reaction sure made me giggle and that is point enough in retrospect.
Author SteveC80 Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 I agree with you. What I don't understand is why this question needs to be couched in all the negativity. Why? Because women seem to question a mans masculinity if he doesnt lead all the time like the post calling a man a pussy if he doesnt lead 1
PJKino Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 (edited) Because they want to be able to "look up" to their man its why things like height are so important. Its not pc to say but in a way a women wants a man superior to her.Some women will complain about the comment but if a women thought she was as smart or smarter then her partner why would she want him making all the decisions? A man who she feels is superior will turn her on much more then a guy she feels shes better or smarter then and makes the decisions for. Edited February 18, 2013 by PJKino 2
AD1980 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Call me crazy but shouldnt a relationship be a partnership where the one who has a strength in a certain situation more then the other makes the decision instead of giving up most of the decisions to someone simply because they have a penis? Thats not a way to run anything well wheter business or relationship 1
O'Malley Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 It's natural to feel valued and desired when someone makes an effort or goes out of their way to show their appreciation of you. Really has little to do with gender. One of the benefits of a good relationship is that security in knowing your partner is willing and capable of taking the initiative or lead at times, even if they tend to be more laid back in general - the trick to it is finding a balance that both people are content with. 1
mesmerized Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Because women seem to question a mans masculinity if he doesnt lead all the time like the post calling a man a pussy if he doesnt lead I don't know any woman who does that. We like a man who is able to lead, but do we want him to lead us all the time? HELL NO! In fact, do you really know any marriage with the man leading 100% of the time and the woman being totally happy with it? I don't honestly. Women nowadays tend to hold or want a lot of decision power in relationships.
FitChick Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 There are women who "take the lead" and control the relationship. They are usually called ball busters. 5
Ruby Slippers Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 It just turns me on. I run a successful business and have NO problem taking the lead. I do it all day every day in my work. But I love it when I get to relax for a change. When my man has a plan, it gives me a strong feeling of security and ease, knowing that he's got it under control. I love when my man drives the car with agility, maneuvers through traffic. I got very turned on once when my ex was navigating through a raging storm on the highway like a race car driver, effortlessly. Once, he asked me to drive his sporty car and show him what I could do. I'm not quite the driver he is, but I'm good - also very agile and in charge behind the wheel, way more confident and controlled a driver than most women. He loved it. I loved that he always picked our table in restaurants, and somehow knew which would be the most comfortable, least noisy spot. I went out with a take-charge guy on Valentine's Day, and as soon as we sat down, every guy around him got all puffed up, trying to rise to his level. He was dressed well, got the waitress laughing, had fun with ordering. You could just feel every guy around us feeling challenged and competitive. And all the girls were checking him out, too 1
Woggle Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Why can't a relationship just be a democracy where both people are equal. If a woman likes being led then fine but I prefer my relationships to be equal partnerships and before anybody says anything yes I also do my share of the housework. I don't speak for other men but chores are equal in our house.
PhillyDude Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Women, as a rule, want to put in as little effort as they have to in a relationship. That is why they want the man to lead, make the decisions and take all the iniatives. Is that because they were born with a vagina and boobs?
xxoo Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Wanting someone to take the lead and wanting someone to be able to take the lead are two different things. I don't need my guy to take the lead all the time. On many matters, I do. But I need him to be capable of taking the lead. If he can't, or won't, that's a turn off. In bed, it is a turn on when he takes the lead. As in--it turns me on when I am not already turned on. I'm sure it is a turn on for him when I take the lead in bed, too, but the reality he is turned on in so many different ways, so easily, it doesn't make a huge difference.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 There are women who "take the lead" and control the relationship. They are usually called ball busters. That's true! Fortunately for them, there are men like the OP who are looking for that in the women they date.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 It has everything to do with gender seeing as how it's only men who makes an effort and goes out of their way to make women feel valued and desired, it's never the other way around. Why don't you share some of your specific experiences with individual women to illustrate your claim about what ALL women do and what they NEVER do, and what ALL men ALWAYS do. Include precise details of your own contributions to the situation, please. FYI, if YOU have put in all the effort in ALL your dealings with women and they have NEVER made any effort at all - it might just be that they did not like you. Or you picked jerky women. Ever think of that? 1
hppr Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 It's just how women are wired. If you don't know how to lead or it confuses you then you're going to be confused for awhile, the plus side is that once you figure it out your dating life will improve immensely.
hppr Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Call me crazy but shouldnt a relationship be a partnership where the one who has a strength in a certain situation more then the other makes the decision instead of giving up most of the decisions to someone simply because they have a penis? Thats not a way to run anything well wheter business or relationship Honestly, no. In any partnership someone has to wear the pants, it's the best way I can describe it. The tricky part is knowing when discretion is the better part of valor. Some fights are just better left behind and some decisions just don't matter. So you want to pick your battles wisely.
SJC2008 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 It just turns me on. I run a successful business and have NO problem taking the lead. I do it all day every day in my work. But I love it when I get to relax for a change. When my man has a plan, it gives me a strong feeling of security and ease, knowing that he's got it under control. I love when my man drives the car with agility, maneuvers through traffic. I got very turned on once when my ex was navigating through a raging storm on the highway like a race car driver, effortlessly. Once, he asked me to drive his sporty car and show him what I could do. I'm not quite the driver he is, but I'm good - also very agile and in charge behind the wheel, way more confident and controlled a driver than most women. He loved it. I loved that he always picked our table in restaurants, and somehow knew which would be the most comfortable, least noisy spot. I went out with a take-charge guy on Valentine's Day, and as soon as we sat down, every guy around him got all puffed up, trying to rise to his level. He was dressed well, got the waitress laughing, had fun with ordering. You could just feel every guy around us feeling challenged and competitive. And all the girls were checking him out, too Lol all the guys got puffed and felt challenged? I guess I'm not like most men then because I would of been checking out his chick instead of worrying about "rising" to his level.
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