Do women motivate men to be better, or distract from our focus?

[Miko]

I've been thinking a lot about this issue lately. I've owned a small business for about 6 years now. Initially I was single and happy to be that way as I didn't want the distractions and wanted to focus on what I was doing. It is however getting to the point where as a single 30 y/o man I pretty much have 80+% of all the "things" I want and if I were to be single forever I don't feel I would have the motivation to move on to the next step or to work any harder than I do now.

 

I've had a handful of relationships the last few years, some have severely distracted me from work because of the emotional/time demands of a relationship, but one or two has given me this sort of magical motivation. In those cases just thinking about the woman has made me want to get out and bust my butt because I was instinctively thinking long term and wanted to make sure that I could provide properly, which would be a bit more financially demanding than being a single bum

 

What do you guys think? Do we NEED a woman to quite simply give us something more important than ourselves to work hard for because we're such simple creatures it doesn't take much to make us happy on our own?

[carhill]

What do you guys think? Do we NEED a woman to quite simply give us something more important than ourselves to work hard for because we're such simple creatures it doesn't take much to make us happy on our own?

 

Everyone is different. That said, a partnership of any sort can be an impetus to growth and change. I'm sure you've seen this in business. Motives, ideas, passions, etc are brought to the table which one may not envision/perceive/act upon solely by one's own volition.

 

Pesonally, I've found the thread title to be a mixed bag. The inspirations were nice but the sucking sound on my love bank became intractable. TBH, all said and done, I'd have been more inspired and passionate solo. That only applies to one life path and one set of life choices. Good luck with yours.

[crude]

Of course as usual it depends on whether you believe in equality or rigid sex roles. I don't think men are the breadwinners because of their gender, and believe a woman has to work just like a man does. Maybe men should push women to take a career seriously to provide for their husbands and children and contribute to society instead of believing the world owes them a living.

[trevzilla]

Depends on the person, my ex wife sucked the life out of me for 15 years and I did everything for her and put all my dreams and goals on hold and ended up in a dead end job. After getting divorced I went to technical school and I've accomplished more in 4 years than I did in 15 with that leech. I'm sure if I were with the right partner, she would inspire me and make me a better man.

[pbjbear]

Depends on the man and the woman

[Radu]

 

What do you guys think? Do we NEED a woman to quite simply give us something more important than ourselves to work hard for because we're such simple creatures it doesn't take much to make us happy on our own?

 

Someone mentioned gender roles.

I think the answer depends on that one.

 

Are we talking pure hypothetical of perfectually equal man and woman ?

The right partner can make you shine, regardless of what gender you are.

 

Are we talking the reality influenced above ?

Gender roles have come a long away in the last 100yrs.

100yrs ago, a smart woman being backed by a man who understood her was unheard of, but cases did prop up and showed what she can do. The trend was that the woman backed the man into success.

She enabled his success and his success was partially for her and for the family.

Nowadays both can be all that they can be, but there is still a major biological difference between genders.

Without going too much into evolutionary psychology [which i believe in], i'd say that a big motivator for achievement for a man can still be providing for his future/present family.

 

However, if the partner in question makes the entire relationship into a fight, you are better off without him/her.

[Keenly]

It really depends...

 

I know one girl that puts such a fire inside me, if she and I started dating I would subsequently attempt to conquer the world. She would highly motivate me. Others? Just kinda meh.

[pbjbear]

Some of it depends on how much the guy likes the girl and how far is willing to go to impress her

[pteromom]

I don't think it has anything to do with gender roles.

 

It depends on the people involved.

 

One woman may inspire a man to work hard and be his best because she seems helpless and he loves her and wants to "rescue" her.

 

Another woman may inspire a man because he sees his future children in her eyes, and he wants to build a good life for his future family.

 

Another woman may be very supportive and a great cheerleader for him and his dreams. She may be willing to work while he goes back to school or the like.

 

Another woman may be a ball-buster and SCARE him into doing his best. LOL

 

And as far as those who distract a man from his focus...

- A woman who is mentally unstable or creates a lot of drama.

- A woman who keeps him worrying about what is going on in the relationship.

- A woman who is selfish and wants him to spend all his time with HER instead of working on his goals.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Of course as usual it depends on whether you believe in equality or rigid sex roles. I don't think men are the breadwinners because of their gender, and believe a woman has to work just like a man does. Maybe men should push women to take a career seriously to provide for their husbands and children and contribute to society instead of believing the world owes them a living.

 

The curse of entitlement is an equal opportunity vice - men think that the world owes them a lot of stuff (hot women, for one) as often as women think it.

 

It's a character flaw, not a gender issue.

 

I don't know where you guys are living where women aren't working and supporting themselves, often in prestigious careers, as well as contributing a great deal within their families. Honestly it's very unusual for me to see what you're talking about in real life.

[tbf]

If you're feeling drained because of your partner, you're with the wrong person. Perhaps you need to up your standards for partners.