New2Love4Now Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Assuming a girl leaves you due to GIGS and things end on bad terms, does it ruin the chance of her realizing that the grass is actually not greener? By ending on bad terms I mean that I pushed to the point of her ignoring me and she now believes that I am spiteful for it, two things which I understand are very unattractive. Is it necessary to end on good terms for the person to potentially have a change of heart in the future? Or will it not matter if they truly are experiencing GIGS?
Sososad Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Alot of emotions happen during a break up mostly bad ones I think but alot of that is in the heat of the moment and out of panic and desperation ... Give her and more importantly yourself some time and space .. Most people calm down eventually wether thy come back who knows but most people calm down at least .. And remember what's meant for you won't pass you !
radinna82 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I agree sososad. Ive had really bad breakups in the past that after time, we miss each other and come together again. Im hoping for that in my current situation and am giving it 2 weeks before I contact her again. I think as long as no violence or bodily threats were committed, than theres always a chance
Emilia Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Assuming a girl leaves you due to GIGS and things end on bad terms, does it ruin the chance of her realizing that the grass is actually not greener? By ending on bad terms I mean that I pushed to the point of her ignoring me and she now believes that I am spiteful for it, two things which I understand are very unattractive. Is it necessary to end on good terms for the person to potentially have a change of heart in the future? Or will it not matter if they truly are experiencing GIGS? Why would you want a person back who didn't see you as good enough in the first place? Where is your pride?
marklarsson Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 It doesn't really matter If you did things which were unattractive after the break up. Because if your ex found you soooo attractive father the break up all you had to do was call and they would have come running back. So just give it time as people say it was all in the heat of the moment you did things you would not have normally done and she said things which she will not have normally said. So in time you will both only start to remember or even miss just the good times. She may come back because Is she may not but she won't judge you for the rest of her life on what you did after the break up. Unless it was something completely messed yp
Author New2Love4Now Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 Why would you want a person back who didn't see you as good enough in the first place? Where is your pride? Because I just believe that this girl is confused about what she wants. I don't blame her for what she did and I believe that if I give her enough time and space she may decide to come back. However, I'm not sure if this will happen if we end on bad terms and she believes that I'm bitter. I'd much rather leave her knowing that there are no hard feelings, although to do this I'd have to contact her which is a risk.
Emilia Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Because I just believe that this girl is confused about what she wants. You can believe what you like, she is perfectly entitled to have her own views on what she wants and what's good for her. Would you say you are a controlling person? When someone leaves you, it's best to let them be no matter how hard that is. It's good that you are not mad at her, it will serve you well for sure. Anger can be destructive. However, she made her choice and you should respect it rather than be patronising about it stating she doesn't know what she wants. After all, if you are correct, how would you know whether she really wanted YOU? Surely you want someone who is certain?
marklarsson Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Because I just believe that this girl is confused about what she wants. I don't blame her for what she did and I believe that if I give her enough time and space she may decide to come back. However, I'm not sure if this will happen if we end on bad terms and she believes that I'm bitter. I'd much rather leave her knowing that there are no hard feelings, although to do this I'd have to contact her which is a risk. If she is confused then there is nothing you can say or so now to change her min. And if you believe she's has GIGS then surely you know to just leave her alone for now and get on with your life. When she's no longer 'confused' she will realise everything and she will contact you
H3Drvr Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Me and my ex ended on relatively good terms. I did the usual crying, bargaining and pleading during the "talk" which had no effect. I never swore at her or laid a hand on her...well except when she asked me to "spank" her lol. She said she just didn't feel like she loved me as much anymore. A few weeks later we talked again, I asked if I did anything wrong in the relationship, she said no. I asked if I was a bad bf, she said you were "perfect". I even asked if she felt I was unattractive, she said "that's the problem, I find you attractive and even difficult to talk to you because hearing your voice makes me want to change my mind". She was 21, just starting university and just had moved back to home to Europe after spending a couple years in the US (1 year of that dating me). So there was nothing bad, she just felt she didn't want to be with me and maybe it was the pressure from starting school. Pressure from her dad who might not accept me; I'm dark skinned, her dad grew up with a little old school germany mentality. She saw how her parents constantly bickered about money. She saw how her sister changed from being a bit of a rebel to docile "home maker". She never directly told me this but whenever we would have convo's I could tell that this bothered her a LOT! And at the same time, she would mention how I was different from all this...and the reason why she loved me (before). She didn't really know why she was breaking up with me other then that she was scared (and I believe it was the final part of the honeymoon stage) and confused and didn't know what she wanted in life. I even asked her if it was another guy or if she wanted to see other guys, she said no; she had been single for at least a year before I met her. So from the sound of it, it was very much sounding like GIGS. There was no yelling or ill will at the BU point, just sadness and crying from both parties. We've (I) been in NC for almost a month now. She hasn't called me crying and begging me back. So even though the RS ended on relatively good terms, it hasn't brought her back faster or if it will at all. All I know is that as long as I keep chugging away and keep on path of re-discovering my single great guy persona, I'll eventually be fine. She found me at the one of my best moments and I owe it to myself to restore my best single guy traits to myself. Who knows, maybe she'll realize the "error of her ways" someday or maybe another great girl will find me and never let me go. I know very well that you can't control anyone and you certainly can't force an EX to come back to you; you however, can control yourself. So don't waste your time and effort on a fruitless effort, that's just INSANE! 2
Chi townD Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Funny thing about girls that you'll learn is that they are NEVER wrong. They may be mistaken from time to time. But, they are never WRONG. So, with that in mind, she probably won't be back and admit that she was wrong. She'd rather move on than come back. Time to go NC heal and move on. 2
creighton0123 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Well... sometimes. That rarely happens, I think. The times that I have seen it happen is people later in life meeting old high school flames after a decade or two of separation when both individuals are very different people. Anyhow, as for ignoring the person and negative sentiments or perceptions: that is all irrelevant in my mind. The relationship is over. That automatically implies the person who chose to end it has no right to judge your response or know about anything happening in your life unless you offer that information.
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