mugirl213 Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 OK...my dilema is as follows: I have been with my boyfriend 8 months. I love him. We've both written the words (i wrote "i love you" him "i can't imagine loving anyone but you"). We have yet to say it. With his ex it took him 2 years to say. He takes it seriously and thinks people throw the words around too lightly. On Sunday he left for a business trip and the thought was just...what if I never got to say the words to him? I'd feel awful. However...I talked to someone and she suggested that she's sure he knows how I feel...and that saying it is just a selfish way of asking to hear it back. So I just don't know what to do...Any suggestions? I have never had anyone SHOW me they love me more...but their is still that doubt in my mind. Does he love me? Should I say it?
Touch_of_Naughtiness Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 Don't just say it to say it. When it's meant to be it will come out naturally without thinking, "should I" or "Is now the right time". When you say I love you it should not be for selfish reasons or a way of asking to hear it back like your friend said. It should be because you mean it. I have said I love you to only two men and I said it without any expectations of hearing it back. I just wanted him to know how I felt. The first guy I told I love you was because he said it and I totally felt the same way. The second guy, I told him first and I did not get an "I love you too" until 6 months after, but I would still tell him because I loved him (and still do love him). Say it when it just comes out naturally
Author mugirl213 Posted September 1, 2004 Author Posted September 1, 2004 Well I guess it's moreso that I want to hear someone that it's OK to "Let" myself say it. I am afraid it's too soon and I'll scare him off...despite the fact we live together (which is not your normal situation...we're doing it for financial reasons...not as a marriage preparation, although we both agree that we are looking at our relationship as serious, and looking towards the future). I've heard so many people say, don't say it, it'll freak him out, etc. And I don't want it to. I also want to not be upset if I don't say it back. Any advice? Did you feel upset when you didn't hear it back? Despite what it may seem, I"m not really planning it out...I'm just monitoring myself to make sure it' "OK" that I do. If that makes sense... My friend also said that since I wrote it to him, he knows and telling him WOULD just be selfish...though to me, there's a difference between telling it and writing it...and it does feel good to hear those words.
Touch_of_Naughtiness Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 Originally posted by mugirl213 Well I guess it's moreso that I want to hear someone that it's OK to "Let" myself say it. I am afraid it's too soon and I'll scare him off...despite the fact we live together (which is not your normal situation...we're doing it for financial reasons...not as a marriage preparation, although we both agree that we are looking at our relationship as serious, and looking towards the future). I've heard so many people say, don't say it, it'll freak him out, etc. And I don't want it to. I also want to not be upset if I don't say it back. Any advice? Did you feel upset when you didn't hear it back? The first time I told him I love you I did not realize he did not say it back until a couple of hours later. I was a bit bummed out, but when I thought about it I knew it was the best thing because when he finally said it I knew he truly meant it Just try to let it come out naturally. Only you have to know that it's okay, no one else you should consent or tell you that it's ok. Good luck
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