Jump to content

I DID for you what you DID NOY for me


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

I DID FOR YOU WHAT YOU DID NOT FOR ME

 

Have you ever felt that you did for you ex what they never would have some for you?

Or you stuck by them when there were going through hard times but when the shoe was on the other foot they left you?

 

If the answer to these is Yes then this is the place to share your stories

Edited by marklarsson
  • Like 1
Posted

I cooked for my ex, buy stuffs for him. I strike to make myself better so I can match his high status. I tried to make him happy and give him all the freedom he wants. But he still left me.

 

Will I do these again? Yes I will, but to another man who loves and appreciate me more.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted

Let me start with my story first.

We went out for nearly 2 years. She had some very though times to do with her family and I was there supporting her through it all when she needed me the most. And we got through it together.

A few months before the break up, I had lost my job and searching for a new one had caused me to enter into a mild depression. This was the time i needed her the most but she called it off. I did everything to make a mends myself because I didn't want to resent her for not being there for me, thought this tough time in my life. She even started seeing someone else 2-3 weeks after we broke up

 

Without her even though it was harder, I have managed to get back on my feet I have a new job Etc...

 

But the thing that hurt me the most about what not the break up itself but was the fact that when she needed me the most during out relationship I was thee for her but the time I needed her the most she didn't care and bailed out. Even me showing signs of wanting to mend things didn't matter

  • Author
Posted
I cooked for my ex, buy stuffs for him. I strike to make myself better so I can match his high status. I tried to make him happy and give him all the freedom he wants. But he still left me.

 

Will I do these again? Yes I will, but to another man who loves and appreciate me more.

 

Good thing you said you will not stop being a caring person to another

  • Author
Posted

Even after the break up I contributed to be selfless but after a while I just had to call her expressed how I felt and now I have just left the ball in her court and now getting in with my life

Posted

About a month after she BU with me Hurricane Sandy hit, and my place was flooded. I was pretty much homeless, jumping around friends houses. I told her I needed a place to stay and she never offered me her couch. I think from that point on, I knew I could never forgive her.

 

If it was the other way around, even if you were a distant friend or whatever, I couldn't refuse a ex/friend that is homeless and needed shelter. I would of done that for her. Oh well....

  • Like 2
Posted

Yes i would have to say my answer to your question is 100% yes.

 

For the best part of the last 18 months of an almost 6 year relationship i stuck with my ex changed things that i was dong that had become a problem to her, helped her through an extremely rough patch in her life, gave her the support, loving and companionship that was needed, let her vent her frustrations about her issues with house mates(also best friends) which ended in her having to leave the house and threatened to end the friendship, the issues which arose from moving back to her mothers home (using it as a base whilst staying in mine 3/4 days a week if not the whole week) and smiled back and attempted to bring a smile to her face at all times and bring her through this awful time. i succeeded in the most part which saw her get through this rough patch in her life and she will admit this and has admitted this to me.

 

when the needs were mine such as changing things which had become issues to me such as communication i was always promised i will do it, i am doing it but in reality it was just words with little substance to them. this in turn led to a lack of support, love, understanding and companionship from her part which i thought was her simply going downhill once again(which turned out to be far from the case) so i reverted to my previous ways of doing all in my power to help her whilst still going through an extremely rough and stressful period of my own. not to suggest that i had not been doing it all along anyway its just my issues had come to the forefront in my life and i felt that i needed some of what i had given so willingly back.

 

But in the end this was not to be and soon she had chosen to leave me in my situation and move country whilst still saying that i love you and want you. i stuck with it but only to have my heart broken further by her.

 

 

in summing all this up in my mind i have come to the realization that she was simply unwilling or unable to show me the same love that i gave to her. for me i have seen that certain people in this world treat love as a one way street taking all that they need and want and not believing or being able to handle the responsibility as being a part of a relationship to show and give the same back to that person.

 

i hope for her sake that at some point in the future that she and people who are of the same ilk realize their mistakes and do their utmost to amend them or i believe they will never be truly happy in a relationship as they do not truly understand the feeling of love and may simply end up on their own.

 

sorry if i have hijacked the thread with my story but its just my penny's worth !

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

-bollixology

Don't apologise for your story. That's what this thread is all about.

Posted

I did everything for him, supported him through some really rough times, and now when I need support the most we are broken up. The details don't really even matter at this point, but there were some severe emotional problems and then medical problems and I stuck by him through all of it. I just have a sick feeling in my stomach 24/7 that I have so much to someone who by his actions obviously never really loved me.

 

This thread gave me a thought though, perhaps I should try to be angry about this fact instead of sad, and also focus on feeling good about myself for being able to help him out when he was in need, even though he didn't deserve it. Who cares, I can't change him or convince him not to be a selfish scumbag. His loss.

  • Author
Posted
I did everything for him, supported him through some really rough times, and now when I need support the most we are broken up. The details don't really even matter at this point, but there were some severe emotional problems and then medical problems and I stuck by him through all of it. I just have a sick feeling in my stomach 24/7 that I have so much to someone who by his actions obviously never really loved me.

 

This thread gave me a thought though, perhaps I should try to be angry about this fact instead of sad, and also focus on feeling good about myself for being able to help him out when he was in need, even though he didn't deserve it. Who cares, I can't change him or convince him not to be a selfish scumbag. His loss.

 

Thank you for sharing your story. Yes rather than feeling sad feel happy with yourself that you was able to offer a helping hand for someone who needed it at the time. And as so for your ex if he couldn't value the things you did for him then yes his loss

Posted

Absolutely. I put 110% into our relationship and he gave about 50%. If that. Lesson learned. NEVER give everything to a person who only gives bare minimum back. Those who care the least hold the power.

 

I was completely faithful to my ex. Treated him so well. Respected him, supported him, was honest with him, sacrificed a year and a half of my life to wait for him when he went out of state to go back to school. Spent thousands of dollars on travel costs to go see him every few weeks or so, meanwhile he NEVER came home for me.

 

HIS job, HIS friends, HIS family, HIS expectations, HIS needs, HIS wants always trumped anything that I felt was important. We always did what he wanted to do, I saw him when HE was available, if he said "jump" i did.

 

It ruined me. I gave so much and he stripped me down to the bones. I found out he was a constant liar. He had cheated on me with his ex. I was always second in his life and I made excuses for him to EVERYONE.

 

My mother once said to me, "You're going to wake up one day and wonder what you ever saw in him. " --- She was completely right.

  • Like 1
Posted

This is kind of funny that this thread popped up today. I'm cleaning my apartment and stuffed behind books on a high shelf is a note I wrote back when we broke up almost 10 months ago. It is titled:

 

"If We Ever Got Back Together" (And this is what it says)



 





The relationship we had in the past was completely unhealthy. Maybe not for you, but for me it was completely self-destructive and I look back and just feel embarrassed. I did EVERYTHING and ANYTHING for you. If you said "jump," I jumped. If you wanted to hang out, I ran. If you wanted to see me when you were out of state, I bought tickets. I just really sacrificed ALL of myself to make you happy and look, you left me anyway.


 

Because of how I acted with you I: Lost myself fully. I thought I wasn't good enough for you. Felt like I had to give up everything for you. I could barely even see my own friends because every single second was something that was going on in YOUR life, with YOUR friends and YOUR family, and YOUR priorities. It was like I didn't even exist as a person at all. And on the occasion I did go out to see my friends, I'd ask you to come and you'd just say no.

 

Why is it that I give up everything and you give nothing? Relationships are two way streets. You did say how sometimes your head is so far up your own a.ss in your own life that you don't even acknowledge mine and this is the only thing I will ever fully agree with you about. (really?!?!??!??!!?! :lmao::lmao::lmao:)

 

You've often been completely nasty with me, making statements such as, "It's not all about you." I have to be frank here. It's NEVER been about me. In any way shape or form. It's always been about YOU, and YOUR priorities, and what YOU need to do, and what YOU want and what YOU expect and what YOU need and what YOU want me to change, and what YOU don't like and what YOU had going on at any given time. It's ALWAYS ABOUT YOU XXX.

 

I have no desire to cater to your every whim. I am doing things now for ME. Taking up new hobbies, enjoying new things, experiencing living on my own. Growing in my own as a person.

 

I also have to be brutally honest here. Although I loved you and was happy being your girlfriend, we had a truly unfulfilling relationship from my end. Every day it was the same thing day in and day out. Every time I wanted to do something new it was, "Oh I'm tired." "Oh, I need to work." "Oh I can't spend one night a week having date night." Everything was just "NO." We never did anything, and if we did, again it was what YOU wanted to do. Sports events. I want someone who's going to be a part of MY LIFE and not just shut me out and make me feel like I'm a zero priority.

 

I'm a great person, I'm a great catch. Anyone would be lucky as hell to have a girl like me. A girl who's fun, laid back, not afraid to do new things, take risks, be spontaneous. I'm giving, generous, kind, loving, funny, witty, smart, and cute as hell. I have a lot going for me. I have a lot to offer. I refuse to waste one more second stuck in your shadow just agreeing and going along with every little thing you do and say.

 

 

----------- I think I'm going to keep this letter. If ever I am feeling nostalgic about him... I'll just read this. In my deepest heartbreak and cloudy vision, I STILL knew he was a piece of s.hit.

Posted

I was always there for her when she needed it, I stayed up all night for her. I bought her flowers in her favourite colour every week, sweets I knew she loved spontaneously. I treated her like gold, her car broke down and she panicked, I drove out and rescued her and held her as she was shocked. I used to tell her how much she meant to me, how much I loved her, how beautiful she was, I'd write soppy notes in a pad she had lying around in her room when she wasn't looking. When her parents got divorced, I was there for her, I held her close, I tried to make sure she felt secure and happy with me. On her trial day at a flower shop, I surprised her by ordering beautiful flowers that I knew she loved, and gave them to her.

 

I think she most she ever did for me was to buy me a t-shirt and cards for my birthday, and a card at the first month phase. She didn't drive to mine very often, so I drove mostly to hers, she did change when I complained that I was making all the effort but wasn't to a significant amount.

 

I did all those things for her, she repaid me back by letting my "friend" manipulate her when I was away, and then leaving me for him when she was apparently "so grateful" that I looked after her during her bad times.

  • Author
Posted

Amazing find, at any point during the relationship did you ever tell him any of these things?

Posted
Amazing find, at any point during the relationship did you ever tell him any of these things?

 

Oh I told him a lot of things. But it was always in one ear, out the other. He never heard this list because after breaking up we never spoke again, but I did tell him how I felt like second place in his whole life and I wondered why he was even with me.

 

He would hear me and say he'd change and that things would work out but he was all talk, no action. He'd then just pretend nothing ever happened and he'd act the same the very next day.

 

I remember the night he broke up with me I even pointed it out. A few days before he ended it, I had wanted to meet up with him to talk. I was going to suggest a break to get our heads on straight. He kept refusing to see me, kept ignoring me. Then days later he dumps me through a text message and says he wants to talk that night. And so I went.

 

I didn't shed one tear for him that night. I did say to him, "I wanted to talk to you days ago. I've tried meeting up with you for days. And now YOU want to talk, and where am I?!?!?! Exactly. Right here." He actually hung his head and I hope he felt nothing but shame.

Posted

Looks like when a person in love, he/she will give naturally. Love, an action.

  • Author
Posted
I was always there for her when she needed it, I stayed up all night for her. I bought her flowers in her favourite colour every week, sweets I knew she loved spontaneously. I treated her like gold, her car broke down and she panicked, I drove out and rescued her and held her as she was shocked. I used to tell her how much she meant to me, how much I loved her, how beautiful she was, I'd write soppy notes in a pad she had lying around in her room when she wasn't looking. When her parents got divorced, I was there for her, I held her close, I tried to make sure she felt secure and happy with me. On her trial day at a flower shop, I surprised her by ordering beautiful flowers that I knew she loved, and gave them to her.

 

I think she most she ever did for me was to buy me a t-shirt and cards for my birthday, and a card at the first month phase. She didn't drive to mine very often, so I drove mostly to hers, she did change when I complained that I was making all the effort but wasn't to a significant amount.

 

I did all those things for her, she repaid me back by letting my "friend" manipulate her when I was away, and then leaving me for him when she was apparently "so grateful" that I looked after her during her bad times.

 

i just saw this and wow. it looks like a damned if you did and damned if you don't. this is why most guys choose to not care when they start hearing stories like these from other people.

 

she clearly did not deserve you.

Posted
i just saw this and wow. it looks like a damned if you did and damned if you don't. this is why most guys choose to not care when they start hearing stories like these from other people.

 

she clearly did not deserve you.

 

All my family and friends have said that, I wasn't whipped but I tried to be the best boyfriend I could. She wasn't controlling or anything, I did all of my things on my own accord, she just took it all for granted I guess. But onwards to find a girl who repays me the same as I do for her!

×
×
  • Create New...