pbjbear Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 If I had been dating a guy for longer than 2 months and he was seeing other women Id drop him like a hot potato and I have done that before. Actually its been alittle over a year and that guy still tries to contact me once in awhile, pathetic. In the beginning its fine but after that not so much. PUA call it spinning plates and seem to think its cool for men to do it and not women, I call bull**** No thanks I dont need to be in your rotation of women to stroke your ego 1
RedRobin Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 OP, don't worry too much about this... The least desperate woman with the most self-respect will dump you first... 1
Casablanca Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 If I had been dating a guy for longer than 2 months and he was seeing other women Id drop him like a hot potato and I have done that before. Actually its been alittle over a year and that guy still tries to contact me once in awhile, pathetic. In the beginning its fine but after that not so much. PUA call it spinning plates and seem to think its cool for men to do it and not women, I call bull**** No thanks I dont need to be in your rotation of women to stroke your ego If you two aren't exclusive it is all fair game IMO though I really don't like juggling two people for too long as it gets tough to do...after about 3 dates I know if I like someone or not...third date with S tonight, made it the last one, not feeling it.
Author johnnyk Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Baed on your other posts you will date both of them at the same time and sleep with both and feel justified Not fooling me Where are the decent men nowadays? That actually have integrity and morals? I'm sorry you're so jaded by the opposite sex. It just sounds like you're looking for reasons to vent (or argue) about a problem I had no part in causing. I assure you I have better things to do than to go on an anonymous dating forum to 'fool' people. Be happy.
Author johnnyk Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 S also seems to be a bit more old fashioned and likes to take things really slow. I haven't had much time to get physical, and by that I mean touch her hand, go in for a kiss etc as we've been meeting when she gets out of class and she works on the weekend. S hasn't offered to pay for anything, other than getting her ice cream one time, but not mine. I think once you get to date 3 and 4 OP, you'll start leaning one way, and thats when you should probably cut the other one off. If tonight with S goes more like hanging out with a friend I'll probably tell her I'm not feeling a connection. And honestly I hope it does so I can stop trying to figure out who I am interested in more. Also OP, don't keep the other around when you decide who you like more so you have someone to fall back on in case plan A doesn't work. You just reminded me of a slight contrast when it comes to paying. I always offer to pay the check. The first gal, because of her schedule, we've only had the opportunity to meet for coffee and drinks. Both times I offered to pay and she gave no resistance, but she said next time she's buying. The second gal, we've gone to dinner. Both times she insisted on splitting it. As it is now, there's no clear difference there, meaning the first gal isn't clearly the kind to expect the guy to pay for everything. I think it's telling when they never offer to pay for anything, for either you or herself. I dated a girl like that once, but I think it was because she was between jobs and had no income. If she's employed and never offers to pay for anything, I'd be bothered by that.
Michelle83 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 If you have only gone on 2 dates with each its still early. Give it a few more dates and youll see the one you prefer. Just dont sleep with multiple people I never sleep with a guy early on and I hold off even more with guys from online...Id try to wait longer than 5 dates unless the dates were spread out far. Many people online multi date and use others, alot of men on it are lying about their intentions, so Id rather be safe than sorry. Alot of people dont have this attitude though I'm just wondering, do you find guys give off certain signals when they are lying about their intentions? Apart from the really obvious (always bringing up sexual comments, etc) is there any signs to watch for that a guy may be pretending to want to date when he's mostly just looking for sex? I tend to have this idea of the 'type' of guy who just wants sex in mind and I think it's far too narrow minded of me and there are a lot of guys out there who I think would be relationship-minded who aren't.
pbjbear Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 If you two aren't exclusive it is all fair game IMO though I really don't like juggling two people for too long as it gets tough to do...after about 3 dates I know if I like someone or not...third date with S tonight, made it the last one, not feeling it. My objection is not based on that but in my experience if a guy is into you he wont want to see other women. Men with attachment problems towards women (alot of times men who dont respect women and keep them at arm's length, or guys playing games or not making their intentions clear) tend to do this. In that situation usually its the guy who doesnt want to be exclusive and he feels justified in "spinning plates"
pbjbear Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I'm just wondering, do you find guys give off certain signals when they are lying about their intentions? Apart from the really obvious (always bringing up sexual comments, etc) is there any signs to watch for that a guy may be pretending to want to date when he's mostly just looking for sex? I tend to have this idea of the 'type' of guy who just wants sex in mind and I think it's far too narrow minded of me and there are a lot of guys out there who I think would be relationship-minded who aren't. Ive dated around alot but dont have much relationship experience. My jerk radar has become pretty good and I trust my intuition. Unless you dont trust anybody you meet, I would trust your gut. Really, if I had to give any girl advice about dating that is what it would be: trust your gut. Every single time I thought a guy was a jerk I was right. The only times I was wrong was with a few men who took acting classes or something and really had me fooled, that was 2 times. Still, its hard to know theres no foolproof way. When his actions dont line up to his words that is a red flag. Guys who make alot of sexual comments, who invite me back to their place before the 4th date, guys who hardly know you and are complimenting you out the wazoo (any guy who texts me "baby" or "good morning beautiful" when I hardly know him I run away from them) but I feel alot of this is common sense...Also I find guys that talk about marriage or kids quickly are just looking for sex. Remember women think with their ears and men think with their dick and they know this in the back of their mind... 1
Casablanca Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I think it's telling when they never offer to pay for anything, for either you or herself. I dated a girl like that once, but I think it was because she was between jobs and had no income. If she's employed and never offers to pay for anything, I'd be bothered by that. It is for me too, every relationship other than one I've had, the woman always offered to pay for something early on, even if it was just the tip on the 2nd or 3rd date...the one who never offered to pay for ONE thing in our few months was really spoiled and was part of the driving apart. First few dates it doesn't bother me, though after a few it would start hang in my mind. What was odd about the one girl is she bought her ice cream, but didn't buy mine, I had gotten everything so far but she was ahead of me in line, it was build your own and just got hers. I would have gotten hers as it was only the second date, but I was kind of shocked. My objection is not based on that but in my experience if a guy is into you he wont want to see other women. Men with attachment problems towards women (alot of times men who dont respect women and keep them at arm's length, or guys playing games or not making their intentions clear) tend to do this. In that situation usually its the guy who doesnt want to be exclusive and he feels justified in "spinning plates" I don't disagree, but if you haven't brought it up, then I wouldnt complain too much. Now if I brought it up and they didn't want exclusivity, I'd probably cut my losses as if say they can't decided if they want to only date me after say 8 dates or what ever, probably not going to want to date me exclusively after 12 or what ever dates. I just went back and read your post, you mentioned a 2 month window which I missed, or overlooked or what ever. I'd say after 2 months one should be able to tell if they want to date exclusively; if the guy doesnt bring it up, I hope you at least bring it up
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