Stalling

[Prettyinblack]

Well, my guy and I have been together for 3 years come Christmas. I am 38 and he is going to be 50 next month. Known eachother 18 years........that's the history. Well, last night I had went out to dinner with friends and called him when I got home after one too many sake's at the restaurant. He told me he was going to do this to his house and that to his house and I just blurted out, "so, I guess you plan on staying there a while?" Man, his house is a little bitty thing and he said that I won't even spend any time there and I said "where am I supposed to sit? There's no furniture! "That led into a discussion about selling our houses and living together. I was married in my early 20's. he has never been married.

I am the type of person that gets things done "yesterday" and he has to think about whether he should buy this shirt or pants for DAYS........drives me a little crazy but I love him........we all have 'our 'thing', right? Well, we had a discussion in APril about selling the houses, (his idea), and then I said a couple of days later that there was this house for sale and that house for sale and the relationship started to stress out........Big time! We decided to put it on the back burner for awhile. It is a huge step for both us having lived alone for the last 18 years!

Anyways, back to the conversation last night, I asked him if he ever planned on selling his house, and he said that "someday", but not today. I said "Do you EVER plan on selling it? Cause if you don't, I need to know that." He asked me why and I said that if I wasn't part of his future, I wnated to know and he asked me why I was being so intense. I said, well, it's been on my mind and I want to talk about it and that talking about it is a good thing.

Well, I never really got a response.......and I feel unresolved and P****D. I don;t think I am broaching a subject too soon.......My word, it's been almost 3 years. I just wnat to know what his plans are. Any ideas or 'wonderments' about my guy? We donb't have children and they are not part of the plan, but I want to move ahead.

Thanks

[ToothlessWonder]

he's getting all bent out of shape for it. Even if I were a commit-phobic guy, I wouldn't take that as too "intense" for the relationship or "rushing things." Not only was it intially his idea, but selling a house, for both of you, is a big deal. It's not something he can just decide on in a momments notice whenever the hell he feels like it and your supposed to drop everything and bend backwards for him! WTF. Tell him to cut the s**t and what's in the biosphere now?? YOu need to know so you can sell your house to put a downpayment on another one. Tell him either way you don't care, but when it comes to business, you better damn well know.

 

If your other concern is you want the relationship to finally take off after 3 years, that's a whole other topic you should discuss with him. Wait a month or two before you bring up how you want it to move forward. I hate to say it, and not every guy follows this pattern, but statistics do show after 32-35, if a man doesn't marry, chances are unlikely he will later on in life. But in your case, women who were once married, divorced, will most likely re-marry (this goes for men too). This is a statistical fact. Maybe he can never make a commitment in life. Of any kind. He's too used to his "bachelorhood" and doing what he wants and not answering to anyone.

 

Living with someone would scare me too. That's one of the small reasons I'm waiting until I marry to live together.

[Not I]

He's 50 and never married ?

 

Don't hold your breath.