Jumpingjacks Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 GF and I split ( she acted stupidly but no cheating). I ignored her for a month, whatever she said, and she was destraught. Finally she texts and says she can't go on like this and plainly she needs to let go and move on as I have already and wishes me well. In a temper I replied I had met someone else and was really happy. She replied well we couldn't have meant much if you replace me in a few weeks, good luck with it. I haven't met anyone, I just wanted to teach her alesson by going NC? nOW WHAT? HAVEN'T HEARD SINCE AND DON'T THINK i WILL?
Author Jumpingjacks Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 She isn't going to contact me again is she? I wanted to make her jealous, I dunno, but she sounded devasted I had met someone else so quickly? You think she will try again?.
CC12 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 She isn't going to contact me again is she? For her sake, I hope she doesn't. You don't seem to have enough maturity to handle a serious relationship. For future reference, going NC should not be used as a means to punish someone, and lying about seeing someone new to further punish her and make her feel bad is just vindictive and ****ty of you. And it's especially weird that you did all that while seemingly still wanting to be with her. That was a really stupid game you played and it seems to have backfired. You gave her every reason to be completely done with you. Good job. 1
Author Jumpingjacks Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 Is there anything I can do now to make this better?
TaraMaiden Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Introduce her to a more mature, sincere, loving and honest guy....? 1
CC12 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Is there anything I can do now to make this better? Not that I can see. You burned bridges pretty badly. I guess you could come clean and tell her that you lied about being with someone new because you wanted to make her feel bad. And that you just wanted to teach her a lesson by going NC. I'm not sure how that would endear anyone to you, but maybe she has such low self-respect that she would accept that type of crap from you. But really, wouldn't it just be best to let this one go? If she did come back to you after all that, do you think that would be good for her? If you can be objective about this, I think you'd see that it would be best for her if you just let her go and didn't bother her with these lies and other BS you tried to pull.
TaraMaiden Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Oh, ok.... You need to come clean, for a start. you need to confess you said those things to be hurtful and get to her. I sincerely believe you've been so foolish, at this point that, logically, she will have nothing more to do with you. You compounded her distress, by metaphorically slapping her in the face with a downright lie. That's childish, immature and reckless. And on that subject - how old are you both.....? Go mutantswordfish's way if you choose to, but be prepared for a total rebuttal.
Author Jumpingjacks Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 I tried to turn it from having met someone I really liked and was seeing to just dating again but by this stage she was just saying o we meant nothing etc?
CC12 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I tried to turn it from having met someone I really liked and was seeing to just dating again but by this stage she was just saying o we meant nothing etc? What is your question?
Author Jumpingjacks Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 I'm worried if she thinks I have someone else she will move on?, but I don't know what to do now. I was reading those articles online and it said ignore your ex and make them jealous and they will come back?
CC12 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I'm worried if she thinks I have someone else she will move on?, but I don't know what to do now. What about the advice you've been given so far? How about trying that?
TaraMaiden Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Quit explaining and clarifying - we get it. So, what will you do? And again - how old are you??
Author Jumpingjacks Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 45 I'm going to wait a while and see if she contacts me, usually she does alot If I haven't heard anything after a week or so I will know shes gone
Author Jumpingjacks Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 In my defence she did act stupidly and I wanted her to realise what she had lost. And yes I have been reading too many articles online, but I do/did blame her for the split. I just wish I had never said I had met anybody.
TaraMaiden Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Yeah, well you did. And you messed up. Suck it up and move on. (45?? Really??? And you're behaving like an immature teen? Jeesh, sorry, but you seriously need to grow up. Seriously.) That's the kind of tactic I'd expect from a high-school student, but... honestly? That's just ridiculous.
CC12 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 In my defence she did act stupidly and I wanted her to realise what she had lost. I'll take your word for it and accept that she did something stupid, but lying and being vindictive is not the way to go about letting her know that you didn't like what she did. The healthy way to do that is to use your words. Have a conversation about it. Come to a mutual understanding. Did you try to do that at all? Also, I'm curious about the stupid thing that she did. Would you mind sharing that? What did she do that was so bad?
Author Jumpingjacks Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 It was just stupid behaviour which annoyed me. I have been on a date so I wasn't totally lying I just made out I was seeing someone and really into them, looking back I don't know why I suddenly wanted to hit back after I got her message, I just lost my rag and I don't know why.
Author Jumpingjacks Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 I have been on a date, does that make what I did vindictive?
TaraMaiden Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 No way are you 45. Be honest, come clean. How old are you, really?
CC12 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I have been on a date, does that make what I did vindictive? Did you exaggerate or lie about the seriousness of that one date in order to make your ex feel bad? Then yes. So what stupid thing did she do?
aliceinthebox Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 (edited) Speaking from experience of being replaced in a few weeks she will never consider returning to you knowing this. You made her feel worthless by making it appear you devalued the time you had spent together by replacing her within such a short amount of time. If you hope for any reconciliation between you two then tell her the truth. You break up usually because there is a problem with the relationship. Even if you are broken up you have a chance of working it out. When you "replace" and don't give yourself and the other person time to calm down and work it out then the other person will no longer have a reason to fight because you appear to have moved on. Also, if I found out now after a few weeks of finding out that my ex lied to me I wouldn't know what to say to him because I've made peace with myself and have moved on myself. You can try and wait and see, but once she's moved on you risk losing her completely. Edited February 18, 2013 by aliceinthebox
Inviv_girl Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Hmm... so do you think she will right get back to you if she gets jealous to know you are seeing someone else? oh well.. it doesnt work that way I'm afraid. She will get hurt, I'm sure but she also will think twice about you. Off course everybody has their own perspective to be with someone, she could be jealous and wanting you back but she also could be just move the f*#k on knowing you replaced her so quickly and thought you were really not worth relationship at all.. and this could be worse. You're lied to her, if she gives you the chance to talk to her again be sure you'll be honest about your "lying girl" that you just want to make her jealous and see if she would believe you this time. Good luck man
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