What's going on in his head after our breakup?!??! ...want him back..

[Whyme2013]

Okay, a little background info.

We were together for two years. We were sexually each others firsts.

I'm twenty and he's twenty four. We had some trust issues in the beginning and a LOT of ups and downs, but had smoothed them over a few months before we broke up, which was three weeks ago. He broke up with me the night I told him I was pregnant, saying he felt trapped.

 

I know, I know, y'all are all going to say "he's an *******, get over him" but I had become controlling and needy, depending on him for my happiness because of my terrible insecurities, though I've always been an independent woman. Again, I had realized this a few months before the breakup, and was working on it. I'm even confident again! I guess he finally snapped.

We did everything together. We had almost all of our firsts together. First boyfriend/girlfriend trips and holidays, first exchanged promise rings, first shared clothes, everything.

We did wayyyy more together and had wayyyy more firsts in our relationship of two years than any other relationship, plus we have EVERYTHING in common. We were best friends before we dated, and share all the common interests you could share.

 

Wednesday, the night he broke up with me, I had never seen him so mad. Yelling about everything that happened in the past, calling me names, and screaming about how stressed he was with me and school and his family and wanting to be a Marine. The same night the pregnancy made me sick, and he calmed down and even held my hair back!! So I went home after that. I didn't talk to him at all Thursday.

 

Friday I asked him what he wanted back. He told me he wanted me to keep everything but that he wanted his gym bag, and I asked him that he not burn or throw away our stuff, because that's what he did to his ex-girlfriend of four years stuff, and he told me "he wouldn't dream of it" and "that's a promise." Saturday I gave him his bag (we work together) and we flirted around the whole day! Saturday night I got teary eyed. He proceeded to get angry again saying he regretted ever dating me.

I got sick shortly after and he was by my side asking if I needed anything. We texted as friends for a few days, reminiscing about the past for a couple of weeks.

 

I gave him one hug and he lingered longer than I was hoping, holding me pretty tight. I asked him to meet up with me for lunch so we could talk about the pregnancy. He agrees.

At lunch he gets choked up about everything, but was also being difficult again and getting angry about stuff, however, he offers to pay for lunch. When we sit outside he asks me how I'm doing and shows concern. He gives my a lingering hug and says we can do this and he hopes we raise a President one day.

 

Two days later, that Friday, I text him early in the morning panicking because I was cramping and spotting. He wakes up to text me and he's easily there for me, telling me he's praying and for me to get my rest. Later on the spotting turned to blood, and I went to Urgent Care.

He was snowboarding with his family and stopped to text me and make sure I was okay, even going as far as telling me he wished he wasn't with his family so he could be there for me! The next day I lost the baby. I called him and he blamed his sperm and was there for me telling me it was going to be okay, and he was being very supportive. However, when I saw him at work,

 

I was crying, no hug, no nothing. Just saying it was going to be okay. He offered to work for me so I could rest, I declined, he left. I texted him the Monday after that and told him I was tired of the drama at work and was ready to get past the past because we both learned so much.

He responded agreeing that we both learned, and saying he was tired of hurting me, and just wanted to move past this and be friends again. I didn't talk to him for about a week, and when I saw him yesterday, he looked really drained and acted fidgety around me. However, today he acted like nothing was even wrong! Talking to me at work just like everyone else. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!

 

I want him back, but idk what's going on in his head. Does he love me or love me not?! I've gone to counseling and gotten my **** straight, I've become independent, I've found the passion that I used to have for the gym and recreated relationships with my friends.

Now I just need to know what to do from here. I've learned I don't need him, I just want him, and I've got my emotions, other than confusion, under control. If he loves me still, what should I do?! I'm worried n contact won't work with him because he'll think I don't care anymore and that I'm "better off without him," but at the same time,

 

I don't want to do anything that will make me look desperate and clingy. if he doesn't love me, how could it just end and him not care anymore?! He was literally telling me the day before the breakup that he couldn't wait to marry my and couldn't live without me. Help!

Edited February 18, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[TooMany360]

Let him go. It seems like he causes you more grief than happiness. Find someone who will make you happy.