mortensorchid Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I would like to share a story that happened to me about 12/13 years ago, it was kind of a turning point moment in my life. It was the year 2000, I was going through my midlife crisis. 99 had been a horrible year for me and I lashed out at all that by changing my appearance and then becoming promiscuous when I was not before. All that aside, I went to some place, met some dude, and he lived in another city. He asked me to come down and see him the next weekend, and I did. The next morning I got up and said I had to get going home. He insisted we go out for breakfast. Over breakfast I began to feel ... Bad. Had he not said much of anything (which I will get to in a minute), I felt lousy about being with him. I asked what he did, he said he was a student at a community college studying film. I asked how he ate and paid the rent and stuff, he said he delivered pizza for a living. And he thought I was an 18 year old (when I was 25), and by the way he lied about his age to me when we had met the last weekend. He told me he was 31 but he was actually 32, as it was his birthday last week and he's not used to telling others how old he was. So after hearing that, I decided "I'll call you, guy, ok?". And I drove him, avoided his calls, emails, etc. I turned cold on him, decided that he revolted me, and I didn't want to have contact anymore. Cold and unfeeling? I think women need to learn to think like a guy every once in a while, to be those horrible users/abusers that they have dreaded. And when men get used, then they know how horrible it can feel. Now this guy was a complete psycho (and if he lied about his age who knows what else he was lying about), but when you encounter someone with such a sociopathic personality it's good to turn the tables on them. It gives you as a woman a sense of power and control. Of course, I moved on from there, and I wonder to this day if he ever looks back on it. He did boast that women were never the same after him. It looks like that was the case, although not in the sense that he meant. Ha ha ha ...
Eclypse Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Wait a minute here. You're calling him a psycho and making him sound like an abuser. Yet all that happened was you had a ONS with a guy you just met and were turned off by the fact that he delivered pizza at 32 and said he was 31 when he turned 32 a few days ago? I think you overreacted... What exactly did he do to deserve your behaviour?
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Maybe this is why people should wait a bit before jumping in the sack with someone. Might figure out sooner whether or not someone is worth your time.
ChessPieceFace Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Cold and unfeeling? I think women need to learn to think like a guy every once in a while, to be those horrible users/abusers that they have dreaded. And when men get used, then they know how horrible it can feel. So you've been hurt by some men and your answer is to assume all men are like that and proceed to hurt men back. Good luck with that.
Woggle Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 You act as if being mistreated is such a one sided thing in the relationship world.
sb129 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Maybe this is why people should wait a bit before jumping in the sack with someone. Might figure out sooner whether or not someone is worth your time. I think that is the moral of the story- and that she probably did just that following the incident. I've had a similar experience- ONS, but guy got really aggressive and turned me off really fast- and then got nasty when I wanted out. Luckily all I needed to do was threaten to call the cops as there were other males living in the house at the same time and he cleared off. It was a bit of a wake up call for me and forced me to examine my behaviour. Some people have to learn things the hard way- and it could have been a whole lot worse for me, other women haven't come off quite so lucky.
SmileFace Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 (edited) I am sorry but WTH are you talking about? How does anything that you wrote prove anything? Besides that fact that you slept with someone on the first night meeting them. A one stand is suppose to be selfish that is the point. It isn't about being a abuser in any light. Edited February 18, 2013 by SmileFace 1
sb129 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I;ve lied about my age. And my occupation.... oops. I;ve done LOTS of things I could have probably done better. Live and learn. NOt quite sure how this is still having an impact on the OP after such a long time though. Its not a particularly cautionary tale..
sb129 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 The other day I told someone that I'm 25 1/2, but I'm really 25 7/8. And they bought it! What an idiot! A friend and I used to make up occupations all the time when out in bars. It can be quite fun.
sb129 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I was being sarcastic. 25 1/2 and 25 7/8 are pretty much the same thing. Duh. Really? 1
sb129 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Yes. And now you know. Thanks for the math tuition.
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I would like to share a story that happened to me about 12/13 years ago, it was kind of a turning point moment in my life. It was the year 2000, I was going through my midlife crisis. 99 had been a horrible year for me and I lashed out at all that by changing my appearance and then becoming promiscuous when I was not before. All that aside, I went to some place, met some dude, and he lived in another city. He asked me to come down and see him the next weekend, and I did. The next morning I got up and said I had to get going home. He insisted we go out for breakfast. Over breakfast I began to feel ... Bad. Had he not said much of anything (which I will get to in a minute), I felt lousy about being with him. I asked what he did, he said he was a student at a community college studying film. I asked how he ate and paid the rent and stuff, he said he delivered pizza for a living. And he thought I was an 18 year old (when I was 25), and by the way he lied about his age to me when we had met the last weekend. He told me he was 31 but he was actually 32, as it was his birthday last week and he's not used to telling others how old he was. So after hearing that, I decided "I'll call you, guy, ok?". And I drove him, avoided his calls, emails, etc. I turned cold on him, decided that he revolted me, and I didn't want to have contact anymore. Cold and unfeeling? I think women need to learn to think like a guy every once in a while, to be those horrible users/abusers that they have dreaded. And when men get used, then they know how horrible it can feel. Now this guy was a complete psycho (and if he lied about his age who knows what else he was lying about), but when you encounter someone with such a sociopathic personality it's good to turn the tables on them. It gives you as a woman a sense of power and control. Of course, I moved on from there, and I wonder to this day if he ever looks back on it. He did boast that women were never the same after him. It looks like that was the case, although not in the sense that he meant. Ha ha ha ... Were you drunk when you wrote this^? 1
ascendotum Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I don't know if I am reading this wrong, but pizza dude was only just a ONS that you maybe hoped might lead to something. The thing is he lived in other city so there was not exactly a good start for any future relationship. Bottom line it was a ONS. All that should matter was he a good **** and did he treat you with respect the next day...eh. He was older than he said, so did that make any difference really. So he delivered pizza...would you have thought him below your league even for a root if he had told you beforehand? (I suspect you might have and I suspect a lot women would)
KathyM Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Midlife crisis at 25 years old? Maybe we don't know the whole story, and the guy really was a douche, but I think the moral of the story is don't jump into bed with guys you don't know or don't particularly like. You need to value yourself more than that. Treating sex as something valueless that you'll give away to any old guy that comes along doesn't usually turn out well. Take the time to get to know the guy first, and make sure it's someone that deserves you before you go down that road. 4
mitchell Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Yeah, I'm still trying to get past the "midlife crisis" at 25 years old! I'm still waiting for mine at 48. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 Midlife crisis at 25 years old? Maybe we don't know the whole story, and the guy really was a douche, but I think the moral of the story is don't jump into bed with guys you don't know or don't particularly like. You need to value yourself more than that. Treating sex as something valueless that you'll give away to any old guy that comes along doesn't usually turn out well. Take the time to get to know the guy first, and make sure it's someone that deserves you before you go down that road. That was the moral of the story here, thanks for mapping it out for others. As for my midlife crisis it was real - the year before my mom got cancer (survived), fall out with 2 childhood friends, threatened to fire at my job, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate, I was out of control. Once I got "better" I decided to let my inner party animal out. As for him ... I realized I had made a mistake with him once I got there, and I needed to value myself more than that. As for who he truly was, I decided I did not know much about him but all I needed to know was the fact that he seemed vain and self centered. I decided to cut my losses and move on. It felt good in order to do so.
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