napy666 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I am 25 years old the longest relationship I have been in was 3 years. I told my mom today that I was talking to 4 different guys, 2 of those guys are 19 years old. Right away my mom says 19 is too young for me to be dating. I am 25 why do I want to date someone who's 19 years old? I need to be dating someone who's 21-35 years old. A 18-20 year old guy will see I'm 25 and think I have a TON of experience due to my age. What does my mom mean by experience and age? And should I listen to what she has to say about the whole age thing?
Fatdrifter Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I am 25 years old the longest relationship I have been in was 3 years. I told my mom today that I was talking to 4 different guys, 2 of those guys are 19 years old. Right away my mom says 19 is too young for me to be dating. I am 25 why do I want to date someone who's 19 years old? I need to be dating someone who's 21-35 years old. A 18-20 year old guy will see I'm 25 and think I have a TON of experience due to my age. What does my mom mean by experience and age? And should I listen to what she has to say about the whole age thing? ummm probably someone as old as me but definitely not as inexperienced as me.
Soxfaninfl Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 If your with a 19 year old guy then don't expect something long term. Guys that age all they care about is hooking up and getting laid. That's all that's on their minds. If that's what your looking for then they are perfect for you. I didn't get serious about relationships until my mid 20's. 1
TouchedByViolet Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 First things first. What are you looking for in a man? If you find a guy that has that (regardless of age) then go for him. Relationship experience is not a huge deal IME. It's more about making sure both your desires overlap.
wahine Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 (edited) I am 25 years old the longest relationship I have been in was 3 years. I told my mom today that I was talking to 4 different guys, 2 of those guys are 19 years old. Right away my mom says 19 is too young for me to be dating. I am 25 why do I want to date someone who's 19 years old? I need to be dating someone who's 21-35 years old. A 18-20 year old guy will see I'm 25 and think I have a TON of experience due to my age. What does my mom mean by experience and age? And should I listen to what she has to say about the whole age thing? It likely depends on your maturity level, or what exactly you're looking for in a relationship. Your mom may be partially right, because generally, men mature more slowly than women, therefore younger women find more things mentally and emotionally in common with older men, leading to longer, more serious relationships with them. Case in point: I'm a couple of years younger than you, and the youngest guy I've ever dated was 4 years my senior (when I was 17), oldest was 11 (when I was 21). I have yet to date a guy my age because most of them have too little in common with me. That being said, if you really do find a connection with a 19 year old guy, who cares? There are exceptions to every rule. He may be an old soul who's mature for his age. Nothing wrong with dating a younger guy. Edit: I don't think any of them care too much about your experience. It may be an assumption that because you're older, you're more experienced, but I've never seen lack of experience on a woman's part be a deciding factor if that person really does want an actual relationship. Edited February 18, 2013 by wahine
Author napy666 Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 Age is the time in which you have had to accrue experiences. The larger the gap (and depending on time of life transition) two people of differing ages can have too many differences to make a successful relationship. Your mom is pointing out that the transitions between 19-25 are so big it is apt to cause problems. Examples: When boyfriend turns 21 he will most likely want to drink and party with his friends as a normal person his age, you will most likely be fed up of the bar scene when you are close to thirty. He is apt to find you boring, be around drunk girls/friends and cheat or grow to resent. 19 year old boyfriend most likely will not be solid in career for next five years. Will you be supporting him? Care to help him with college exams and expenses all over again while you are working on your 401 K planning and career ladder? You will want kids in next few years, boyfriend won't until you are in late thirties most likely, have fun with that higher risk pregnancy! Of course as the age gap gets bigger even more problems arise, and THAT is why so many oppose the notion "age is nothing but a number", because it can be way more than that! Well these 19 year old years want a relationship and they don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or have had sex and don't mind that I am the same way. But they don't have a job or drive and live far. I don't have a job or drive either.
Author napy666 Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 First things first. What are you looking for in a man? If you find a guy that has that (regardless of age) then go for him. Relationship experience is not a huge deal IME. It's more about making sure both your desires overlap. I want a guy that doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs and is a Virgin. Also would like them to like the same music I do, and has a job and drives.
Life'sGood Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I want a guy that doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs and is a Virgin. Also would like them to like the same music I do, and has a job and drives. If you want a guy with a stable job, it is more sensible to date someone who's already out of college or have been working for a couple or years right? So, of course that person would be somewhere around your age.
Lonely Ronin Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I want a guy that doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs and is a Virgin. Also would like them to like the same music I do, and has a job and drives. Come on now, other than the bolded, you didn't list anything that's going to lead to a strong lasting relationship. You need to have a lot more than this to build a strong relationship.
Emissary Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I'm 25 and I'm entering a relationship with a 17 (almost 18) year old girl. I think the key distinction is whether you are dating a child or an adult, and it's not always based on age. The girl I'm dating is technically a child, but realistically she's an adult because of her experiences in life. Her parents are divorced, she lived with her father, but he became a violent alcoholic and has beaten her in the past. She's on good terms with her mother, but she lives on her own now in a small apartment. She lives in the real world of adults and is coping with it on her own like an adult. I actually know her mother as well, she's been a regular customer of mine for years, while her daughter I only recently met within the past few months. I don't know if she's aware we're going on a date, but she she knows my age and hasn't said anything as far as I'm aware. It might have been a concern for her, she found out my age when I was buying smokes from her store for a friend. She jokingly carded me, but I suspected she was mining for information. She said something along the lines of "yeah I knew you were over 19..." Also age of consent and personal preferences when it comes to alcohol and tobacco are a big thing. The age of consent is 16 here, and neither of us drinks or smokes, so we're golden there.
Author napy666 Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 Come on now, other than the bolded, you didn't list anything that's going to lead to a strong lasting relationship. You need to have a lot more than this to build a strong relationship. What you mean?
Shardish Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I wouldn't say a 25 year old dating a 19 year old is that big or bad of an age gap, but just how mature and grown up are these two people? You will want to feel like a girlfriend and not a child-minder.
Emissary Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 What you mean? I think people mean that the points that make up your definition of a suitable man are incredibly mundane. There will be men who don't match those requirements, but that sort of description is about as useful as requiring your man to have a penis when it comes to finding a good match. Personality, interests, likes/dislikes, degree of willingness to commit? "Hi I'm Jane, what kind of music do you like?" "I'm John, I'm a virgin because I listen to Linkin Park." "Me too, a perfect match, now marry me."
Author napy666 Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 I think people mean that the points that make up your definition of a suitable man are incredibly mundane. There will be men who don't match those requirements, but that sort of description is about as useful as requiring your man to have a penis when it comes to finding a good match. Personality, interests, likes/dislikes, degree of willingness to commit? "Hi I'm Jane, what kind of music do you like?" "I'm John, I'm a virgin because I listen to Linkin Park." "Me too, a perfect match, now marry me." I dont understand what you mean.
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