carson22 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 So, my question is: Can a girl never have time to be in a relationship? Here beings my story: I recently purchased a vehicle through the internet (website similar to cragislist). Anyways, the vehicle was roughly 4 hours from where I live. I contacted the seller and asked some questions about the vehicle and it turns out it was a girl who owned the truck and she currently goes to school in the city I live in (university student, studying for a doctor). I met the girl at a local coffee shop to give her a deposit on the truck. She shows up and is absolutely gorgeous. Blonde hair, blue eyes, amazing smile. We both weren't expecting that when we met, that each other would look the way we do. She's 21 and I'm 22. One of the main reasons she though I was going to be older was because in our email communication back and forth, we were both very punctual and professional (I'm an engineer so it's pretty much hard wired into me that I have to write properly when I send emails). Anyways, that coffee meet turned into a 50min conversation about anything, life and school. We both were laughing and smiling. She told me that when she goes to visit her parents during reading week, she can drive the truck back to where I live. Worked great for me! Well, 1 week ago she sends me a text and says she was wondering if I would like to catch a ride up with her (just me and her) to her parents place, then I can drive the truck back that same day. Even better! But she barely even knew me. I figured she must trust me enough to want to do that. I've been asking my friends and they say that no way in hell would they want to drive someone up that they just met unless they found them attractive and trusted them. My mind is still boggled over this. So the trip came and gone. 4 hour trip with just me and her. Not a single awkward moment of silence. We were constantly picking on her each, laughing, talking about our lives, favorite movies, actors, where we've been and so on. I found out that she home schooled herself from grade 9-12 and finished that in two years. Then she took a year off because she was ahead, then went straight into medical school. Everyday she goes to school, 8-4:30, goes home, studys and does it all over again. She told me she doesn't party, drink and has a very minimal social life, if any. We get to her parents and they invite me inside. Her mom made me lunch and we talked a bit more. Right before I left, I asked the daughter when she gets back and if she has any free time, i'd love to take her out. I wasn't sure if she was expecting it or not, but she told me that she would let me know when she gets back into the city but she isn't sure when she will have time because her schooling consumes most of her life. Fair enough. She asked that I let her know when I get home safe. So I did, and I reminded her that when she gets back into the city, if she's ever free, i'd love to take her out. She said thanks and that she'll keep it in mind but "unfortunately with school I have very little time for social life". This is the first girl that I've met that I can honestly say I'm very attracted to. She's ambitious, goal driven, smart, enthusiastic, out spoken and knows what she wants in life, and that is something that I find extremely attractive. But, my question from above still stands: Can a girl actually never have time for a boyfriend (in this sort of situation)? Or is she just trying to let me down easy? I understand that school is everything to her and she is very smart and doesn't want to screw it up. Me, personally, I think that she does have time for a relationship, but very few guys would be able to settle with seeing their girlfriend once every 2-3 weeks or even every month. I appologize for the lengthy post. Thanks to all who read it and help me out here.
ja123 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 It's sounds like she's interested, but she is goal driven and won't let dating get in the way of her studies. Smart girl. Anyway, you could always take the initiative and invite her out. Just don't expect that she'll be your gf or see you in any regular fashion.
Author carson22 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 It's sounds like she's interested, but she is goal driven and won't let dating get in the way of her studies. Smart girl. Anyway, you could always take the initiative and invite her out. Just don't expect that she'll be your gf or see you in any regular fashion. That's what I figured. Part of me makes me find that more attractive. She's not going to let anything get in the way of her schooling. I did let her know that if she does change her mind, my offer still stands. Balls in her court now. Ultimately, it's up to her to choose if she wants to or not.
Mycteria Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 The ball isn't really in her court. You never asked her out on a real date, jut discussed the possibility of one. If you ask her to go with you to X place at X time and she declines without offering an alternative time, THEN the ball would be in her court.
jcrew11 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I think this can turn into something when the semester ends. You can maintain a relationship through e-mails and phone calls. I think a lot of men can attest that they just like "hooking up with girls" on the weekends, and just focusing on work/school during the week, without needing to handle a relationship with a girlfriend with constant phone calls and dinners. Just stay in contact with her every week, and if she wants to see you, it will work out. At best, she can be a good F-buddy when she comes to town.
Author carson22 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 The ball isn't really in her court. You never asked her out on a real date, jut discussed the possibility of one. If you ask her to go with you to X place at X time and she declines without offering an alternative time, THEN the ball would be in her court. Before I left her place I asked her when she gets back into the city. After she told me, I asked her when she gets back if I can take her out. I didn't tell her where/when, I just know by talking to her that her schooling is really intense right now. 14 exams in 16 days are coming soon for her. Do you still think that it's in my court? I can't really pick a date/time to take her out, I know almost for certain that she won't be able to, that's why I told her that when she is free, i'd love to take her out.
carhill Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Note to self: Remember to hire beautiful young blondes to sell things More realistically, this young lady meets dozens of men like yourself every day. Barring mental defect, she's very good at reading people, simply because of long experience with it. It's overwhelmingly probable that what you've shared here is transparent to her reading ability. When hearing 'no time for a relationship', add 'with you'. IME, in most cases, it's the truth. In her favor, she delivered the news in a polite manner, offering to 'keep it mind'. This is likely, overwhelmingly likely, due to a lot of experience with the sort of approach you enacted. If you want to have some fun, call her in a couple weeks and ask if that truck came with a warranty. See if she remembers your name. Take it from there.
Author carson22 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 Note to self: Remember to hire beautiful young blondes to sell things More realistically, this young lady meets dozens of men like yourself every day. Barring mental defect, she's very good at reading people, simply because of long experience with it. It's overwhelmingly probable that what you've shared here is transparent to her reading ability. When hearing 'no time for a relationship', add 'with you'. IME, in most cases, it's the truth. In her favor, she delivered the news in a polite manner, offering to 'keep it mind'. This is likely, overwhelmingly likely, due to a lot of experience with the sort of approach you enacted. If you want to have some fun, call her in a couple weeks and ask if that truck came with a warranty. See if she remembers your name. Take it from there. If this is the case, she's definitely very good at it. We'll see what happens a few weeks down the line. I might get a call from her when she gets back in the city.
Mycteria Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Before I left her place I asked her when she gets back into the city. After she told me, I asked her when she gets back if I can take her out. I didn't tell her where/when, I just know by talking to her that her schooling is really intense right now. 14 exams in 16 days are coming soon for her. Do you still think that it's in my court? I can't really pick a date/time to take her out, I know almost for certain that she won't be able to, that's why I told her that when she is free, i'd love to take her out. Yes, the ball is still in your court. Ask her out on a date at a specific place at a specific time. If she's unavailable that day, she can always offer an alternative time. If she doesn't, then yes, the ball would be in her court. Remind her when you talk to her that you know she's busy and that you are as well, so you're cool with keeping it casual and won't take up too much of her time right now (if it's true). She might be using this as an excuse to let you down easy, but she might be genuinely trying to warn you that she won't be able to see you very often if you do start dating. Who knows. Ask her out on a real date and find out.
Author carson22 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 Yes, the ball is still in your court. Ask her out on a date at a specific place at a specific time. If she's unavailable that day, she can always offer an alternative time. If she doesn't, then yes, the ball would be in her court. Remind her when you talk to her that you know she's busy and that you are as well, so you're cool with keeping it casual and won't take up too much of her time right now (if it's true). She might be using this as an excuse to let you down easy, but she might be genuinely trying to warn you that she won't be able to see you very often if you do start dating. Who knows. Ask her out on a real date and find out. In your opinion do you think I should wait until she gets back in the city to ask her? Right now she is visiting her parents until the end of next week, then her tests start.
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