Lonely Ronin Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Last night I had a conversation with a woman that I dated for about a month and a half mid last year. She said one of the reasons she became distant (why I broke up with her), was because I wasn't dating anyone else. She was adamant that I never pushed or pressured her, but she knew via a mutual friend that I wasn't dating anyone else. She said that knowing I wasn't, made her feel like she needed to figure out how interested in me she was, and it overwhelmed her. This bothered me a little bit, because I have heard this or something similar a lot lately. So I will put it to all of you, how do you feel about dating someone who isn't dating anyone else? Personally?
veggirl Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 She sounds like a wacko. A month and a half and she can't figure out if she likes you enough to just date you and finds it too much "pressure"? Weirdo. I feel great seeing someone who is not dating anyone else. I don't date multiple people at a time so... 9
silvermercy Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I concur with her being weird... That's one... weird reason! Weird weird weird... to weird infinity and beyond... I'd be elated to be the only one! lol 2
Imported Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 The correct response when someone challenges your accepted core values is to question them why they are so stupid. Not question yourself. 1
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 I feel great seeing someone who is not dating anyone else. I don't date multiple people at a time so... Neither do I, even though pretty much every male and female friend my age and younger thinks I should. I have had this issue a couple of times over the last year and a half, and I have spent a lot of time thinking & posting about it , and the only thing I can come up with, is that I'm to old school and most people don't do it my way anymore.
StanMusial Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 That has got to be the craziest break up reason I have ever heard. Why didn't she just say "It's not you, it's me" and leave it at that? Oops, just reread, you broke up with her. Still a crazy statement from her though.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 That has got to be the craziest break up reason I have ever heard. Why didn't she just say "It's not you, it's me" and leave it at that? well, I have a tendency to compel people to talk. I hear ?I can't believe I just told you that" a lot.
RedRobin Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 That's a new one! Was she as indecisive in other areas of her life? I only date one person at a time and won't date men who I know are dating/having sex with others. It is simply impossible for me to form an emotional connection with them. 3
todreaminblue Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Last night I had a conversation with a woman that I dated for about a month and a half mid last year. She said one of the reasons she became distant (why I broke up with her), was because I wasn't dating anyone else. She was adamant that I never pushed or pressured her, but she knew via a mutual friend that I wasn't dating anyone else. She said that knowing I wasn't, made her feel like she needed to figure out how interested in me she was, and it overwhelmed her. This bothered me a little bit, because I have heard this or something similar a lot lately. So I will put it to all of you, how do you feel about dating someone who isn't dating anyone else? Personally? it is impossible to focus on getting to know someone if you are getting to know someone else as well your foucs is split.....all i have found with friends who multiple date is they come to me and say what do i do? i like these two guys each has things i like about them only if could split and join them together.....causes confusion.....and heart ache because eventually you have to pick one over the other........that is what i tell my friends pick one who makes you smile the most and makes you feel good when you are with them, let the other one go......no wi dotn know if thats the best advice to give i always tell them to follow their heart.......you should date another......i dont think that this girl is serious about you.....so take her advice....date another....and find happiness....stick to your dating one ways....i have guy friends....i dont go out on dates while i only see them as friends...if i were too, i would date only one ...and i separate the two with boundaries....if i date a friend he knows its a date..............deb 1
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 Was she as indecisive in other areas of her life? A little, but not much above what I would consider normal. It's a concern to me because this is the 3rd woman in the last 15 months that this has happened with. My close female friends all have similar opinions as to why this has been happening. One opinion is because I don't need to be fixed, and the other is that I'm complicated.
crude Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 The only explanation is that dating seems to be the road to marriage, and if you're dating exclusively it's only a matter of time before you're an old married couple. Some people might just want to go out with someone socially, not be virtually married.
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Lonely Ronin, she is talking s---t Don't doubt yourself. I also prefer dating one person at the time and it's a huge turn off if there are others in the picture. 4
carhill Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 OP, your style apparently is focusing on one person at a time and getting to know that person. She apparently (by both words and actions) found this to be incompatible with her style of 'getting to know'. Miss. Myself, I'm so used to approaching/dating woman who are dating other men, since it's common here, I'd probably be surprised meeting such a lady who gets to know one man at a time, but I wouldn't find it off-putting or feel 'pressured'. Getting to know is getting to know. It's supposed to be enjoyable and something to look forward to. If other, discontinue. Good luck. 1
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 I dont think that this girl is serious about you.....so take her advice....date another....and find happiness....stick to your dating one ways.... O we aren't dating, we are just friends, and the only reason we are friends, is because nothing happened between us. She was being flirty with me the other night at a social gathering, but I shut that down, because I know she is single and feeling lonely. I think my biggest concern at this point in my life, is that women are more attracted to who they think I am, or could be, than they are to who I actually am.
iris219 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 It's a concern to me because this is the 3rd woman in the last 15 months that this has happened with. And what's the common link here? When three woman exhibit the same unusual behavior in a short period of time, you have to take a look at the kind of women you're picking and why. Sounds like someone might have a broken people picker. Or you ignore the signs of disinterest and uncertainty from these women.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 And what's the common link here? When three woman exhibit the same unusual behavior in a short period of time, you have to take a look at the kind of women you're picking and why. Sounds like someone might have a broken people picker. Or you ignore the signs of disinterest and uncertainty from these women. I have thought about this, but it's not all of the women I have dated, it's about 50%, It is however still a concern that I'm missing something.
tbf Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Did you meet these women through online dating? If so, you might want to reconsider the medium.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 Did you meet these women through online dating? If so, you might want to reconsider the medium. No, these are all women I met through friends at social gatherings and what not. I haven't done online dating yet, though I'm preparing to do so.
Star Gazer Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 She likely felt that because you were exclusive, she needed to be too. Some people aren't into being exclusive from the get go (and she sounds like one of them). Different strokes for different folks. Keep on keepin' on, dude.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 She just wasn't that into you. If she had been, she would have been glad you weren't seeing anybody else. Think about it.
todreaminblue Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 O we aren't dating, we are just friends, and the only reason we are friends, is because nothing happened between us. She was being flirty with me the other night at a social gathering, but I shut that down, because I know she is single and feeling lonely. I think my biggest concern at this point in my life, is that women are more attracted to who they think I am, or could be, than they are to who I actually am. when a woman actually feels lonely and single that is the perfect time to date because she would be open to sharing her life with another..she isnt as alone or lonely as you think she i sif she knocked you back..loneliness is a heart emotion......you are not a heart reader ...wouldnt it be cool if we could be,would save a lot of heart ache......i think god puts people in your path for a reason either to enrich your life or let you learn......you know what your dating style is and how you feel comfortable so follow that and stay true to it...you will be fine.....she is not compatible with you....and it is probably for the best..best wishes...deb
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 Keep on keepin' on, dude. O I am, I'm like a freight train, really hard to stop or slow down. I've been on a handful of dates with a new girl who seems really interesting & fun.
SmileFace Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 You should be happy this ended when it did
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