peopleschamp Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Complicated story. I work with this girl who is 29 years old, i am 24. She has got boyfriend and a 2 year old kid. I see her once a week, so i am not working with her every single day. I have been working with her for 4 months. I got all the signs that she likes me, she stumbled with her words, blushing, was very happy around me. I started to have feelings too. I asked her if is it possible to see her in new years eve, she said that she will be out of town with her boyfriend. She asked where i am going etc. After that she has been completely ignoring me until to this day.So like 2 moths already. She doesn't speak a word with me and doesn't even say hi to me. Every time i see her she is tearful and looking depressed. Why is she ignoring me? She has birthday coming on the first of march, should i buy her flowers? Or should i only greet her in facebook? It would feel weird to start conversation when she even doesn't say hi to me anymore. Like a stranger. PS! I know it's wrong because she has got boyfriend, but haven't felt this happy for years.. Someone off me please.
Apolodor Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Don't fool yourself. If she has not initiated contact in like 2 months, there is nothing going on there except in your head. She's been busy living her life, looking after her kid, and having great sex with her boyfriend. You are not part of her equation. While they're in each other's arms you probably sit in your room gettinng high at the thought of some abstract feelings which mean nothing in reality. Don't mistake the kindness of your colleagues at work for genuine feelings. People try to behave professionally and tend to smile a bit more than usual (Just watch them closely for a week -- as I did, and you'll notice the small moments when their masks fall off). I have recently been in a similar situation, I fell for a woman at work. There were lots of signals coming from her that she would be interested in me (e.g., she was always going into the rest room to arrange her hair before coming into my office, obvious body language, etc). This made me feel very happy (happier than I felt in years...) and at some point, after months of waiting I decided to make my feelings a bit bettter known. To cut a long story short she turn down my invitation, etc, etc. Had that been the end I would have been able to accept it more or less easily -- women are entitled to make their own romantic choices, sono hard feelings there. But she did something really nasty: she shared with the whole office (200+ people) that I was infatuated with her and all the things I did to attract her attention. Half of the stuff was made up, but it doesn't really matter. Overnight, my credibility was shot, and everyone now looks at me as some kind of pervert who spends his time hitting on female colleagues instead of doing his work. I feel deeply humiliated and I don't know whether I willbe able to continue to work for my current employer -- which really kills me as I really liked the environment. The morale of this story is "don't get your meat from the same place you get your bread". You might not like it and you might end up being laughed at by your colleagues.
todreaminblue Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Complicated story. I work with this girl who is 29 years old, i am 24. She has got boyfriend and a 2 year old kid. I see her once a week, so i am not working with her every single day. I have been working with her for 4 months. I got all the signs that she likes me, she stumbled with her words, blushing, was very happy around me. I started to have feelings too. I asked her if is it possible to see her in new years eve, she said that she will be out of town with her boyfriend. She asked where i am going etc. After that she has been completely ignoring me until to this day.So like 2 moths already. She doesn't speak a word with me and doesn't even say hi to me. Every time i see her she is tearful and looking depressed. Why is she ignoring me? She has birthday coming on the first of march, should i buy her flowers? Or should i only greet her in facebook? It would feel weird to start conversation when she even doesn't say hi to me anymore. Like a stranger. PS! I know it's wrong because she has got boyfriend, but haven't felt this happy for years.. Someone off me please. she isnt available, and she has a child........if she is attracted to you that could be the root of her being depressed, who knows she could be having serious relationship problems.....and then there's you......even though you like her.....y6ou need to respect the boyfriend ....put yourself in his shoes......one thing that is nasty for a man to do ...i sbenefit off anothers mans possible losing a girlfrie4nd....and mother of hsi child......step back.....and you should be respected for stepping back ...its honorable....do not chase girls who are taken ever....its a heart ache with nikes on for all concerned...best wishes..deb
BehindBlueEyes Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 She saw you as a work friend and you blew things up hitting on her while she knew you knew she has a BF and child. Now she is combing things over in hopes you calm down a bit with your feelings. It's not your fault....she lead you on like a floozy and now she is repairing her mistakes by ignoring you in fear it may inter-fear in her current relationship. She probably doesn't want to lose her current BF over this, because he may be supporting her and the child and she'll have nothing without him... Happens all the time....Chics are weird that way.
carhill Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Welcome to LS As a serious potential, fuggetaboutit. If you don't care about the employment dynamic nor anything serious, you could have some fun with the dynamic. She's ignoring you because there's no downside for her and it appears to be working What can you learn from this?
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