Own Worst Enemy Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Today is exactly 6 weeks NC. I got a text which must have been sent at about 6am where he is (travelling with a friend for 2 weeks and presumably v drunk) that said he was still hoping I would think about being friends with him x. Fine, that says "I'm on holiday and I'm thinking about you". But it also says "I'm drunk" and "I don't want to feel like the horrible person that I am, please give me validation and absolution." And it would never have been sent if he'd gotten lucky last night! So for those and many reasons I am ignoring him. What I really feel like saying is: "OK, you want to talk about being friends? Well, let's swap roles. And for every time you used the word "weight" about me, let's pretend that I actually said "black" or "short" or something about your physical appearance. so to turn around just some of your phrases: "I can't help it if I'm not attracted to you because you're half black and five foot six is too short for a guy." "I am giving you 18 months to be less black or to grow taller." "I can't be with you because you're black/short, but I want you to be my best friend and wipe my ar$e whilst I go out looking for someone who is white/tall enough for me." "If you'd cared enough about me, you wouldn't have taken me on holiday for my birthday because that just made your skin darker and probably set you back by two weeks." How quick would you be to be friends with me then, eh? What, you would never want to be friends with someone so shallow who thinks such disgusting things? Really? Funny that. Well, there is no difference between something as disgusting as those fake comments and what you actually said about me physically, nor your inability to realise that everything else is sooooo much more important. So suck it up, you made your choice, and no f.ucking way am I being friends with someone who thinks like you do." So I figured, better to post it on here and delete his text, which I have duly done! *For anyone who doesn't know the background, the Wiki version is: dated for a few months, he ended it citing too much pressure, eventually months later admitted he thinks I am too big for him to be attracted to (I am a healthy BMI and need to lose 10lbs, tops, but he is utterly obsessive about his body and the gym), then said he loved me and was giving me a year to lose weight, then changed his mind and said he needed to be with someone thin, but could we still carry on being best friends..... 1
Chloe1980 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Ugh, you are really angry. I would not use any of those phrases, they are really nasty, no matter what he said to you in the past (yes, Ive read the wiki version) Just forget about him, he's obviously insecure. I think you can do better than him, just ignore him, dont reply, because you'll regret it (specially if you still have some hope of being with him again) Stay cool, let him be the one ashamed.
Author Own Worst Enemy Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 (edited) They are all direct quotes from him, which says it all about why I cannot be friends with him. Yes you have to be attracted to your partner, but height/weight (ok if they are like 5'2" and 300lbs, but otherwise come on)/skin colour/money/eye colour/hair colour etc etc should have nothing to do with that beyond a fleeting first impression. Deep loving attraction comes from shared values, sense of humour, respect, things like that. Not physical features. For example, when I met him, I thought he was very handsome, but he was shorter than I am, which is perhaps not ideal. But after about 1 minute I forgot all about that, because it was irrelevant in the scheme of how well we got on. He's an idiot! Edited February 17, 2013 by Own Worst Enemy 2
LostGirl11 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 What a complete noob. Well done for not replying. If you feel weak or have an urge to reply come here first, ok? My noob of an ex text me on Valentines night then again on Friday. Take a look at my post.
newsbug Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Ugh. Eff him. Good for you for knowing your value as a human and ignoring him. He deserves to be miserable and you deserve to be nothing but happy...no matter what size, shape, color, age...anything. No one has the right to say those nasty things to someone else and then think they could be their friend. Very cruel. High five to you. 1
destroyed4sho Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Its a pretty good comeback! Bc its a good.way.for.him.to.understand that what he is asking for is.hurtful....you know what? I hope you did.call him.short in the past.when he talked about.your weight. 1
Author Own Worst Enemy Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 I have not replied and am fully determined to read these posts again when my brain starts to do the inevitable dumper thing of "but if you don't reach back, he's gone for good." Ridiculous. What part of "still hoping we can be friends" is not gone for good already? I've got hundreds of friends ta, I don't need ones who think like he does!
destroyed4sho Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 You should reply back " No, i cant be your friend. Your too short." lol 1
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