GSB81 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Ever dated someone who placed so much importance on their friends' opinions that the friends seemed to become part of the relationship? I was once in a situation where I was dating this girl and everything was fine until we met up with two of her female friends. One seemed cool, but the other just gave off this snotty vibe. The snotty one told my girlfriend that I was rude to her and it seemed all downhill from there. I reminded my gf that the entire interaction took place right in front of her and asked her to point to out how exactly I had been rude to her friend. She couldn't, yet still took her friends side. She later informed me that they both hated me. It was as if she had no interest in me if her friends didn't like me. I asked her if they let her have a say in who they date and she meekly said no as if it had suddenly dawned on her that they didn't. I just can't fathom how anyone would allow anyone, friend or family, have a say in who they date.
soccerrprp Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Ever dated someone who placed so much importance on their friends' opinions that the friends seemed to become part of the relationship? I was once in a situation where I was dating this girl and everything was fine until we met up with two of her female friends. One seemed cool, but the other just gave off this snotty vibe. The snotty one told my girlfriend that I was rude to her and it seemed all downhill from there. I reminded my gf that the entire interaction took place right in front of her and asked her to point to out how exactly I had been rude to her friend. She couldn't, yet still took her friends side. She later informed me that they both hated me. It was as if she had no interest in me if her friends didn't like me. I asked her if they let her have a say in who they date and she meekly said no as if it had suddenly dawned on her that they didn't. I just can't fathom how anyone would allow anyone, friend or family, have a say in who they date. Self-confidence is the issue here. It is very likely that she's had a number of bad relationships in the past and doubts her own decision-making process, so seeks the advice and approval of her friends. And the other thing is trust...she knows her friends and trusts them to work in her best interest. This is not always so with someone you just met. There are plenty of people out there who insist that if you don't click with their friends, that that's a potential or certain deal-breaker. The best one can do is demonstrate that you're honest, upfront, serious and let the chips fall as they may from there. You shouldn't accommodate every friend's perception of you. Dangerous and cumbersome. Your friend's friends are an example. One liked you and the other didn't at first. Then.... who knows. 1
Author GSB81 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 I bet you're right. It just seems mean spirited to tell your friend you hate her new boyfriend after having only talked to him for 10 minutes. I'd never do that to a friend of mine. And had one of my friends told me they hated her, I would have said "then it's a good thing you aren't the one dating her." Also, these two depend heavily on my ex. She often drives them around when they are either too lazy or too drunk to drive. They treat her like a personal chauffeur. Maybe I was taking up a too much of her time and it got in the way of their plans.
PogoStick Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Pretty much every girl is this way, especially when they are younger. When you date a girl, you're also dating her friends and family.
Fatdrifter Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Ever dated someone who placed so much importance on their friends' opinions that the friends seemed to become part of the relationship? I was once in a situation where I was dating this girl and everything was fine until we met up with two of her female friends. One seemed cool, but the other just gave off this snotty vibe. The snotty one told my girlfriend that I was rude to her and it seemed all downhill from there. I reminded my gf that the entire interaction took place right in front of her and asked her to point to out how exactly I had been rude to her friend. She couldn't, yet still took her friends side. She later informed me that they both hated me. It was as if she had no interest in me if her friends didn't like me. I asked her if they let her have a say in who they date and she meekly said no as if it had suddenly dawned on her that they didn't. I just can't fathom how anyone would allow anyone, friend or family, have a say in who they date. it's nothing but trouble. I promise.
todreaminblue Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Ever dated someone who placed so much importance on their friends' opinions that the friends seemed to become part of the relationship? I was once in a situation where I was dating this girl and everything was fine until we met up with two of her female friends. One seemed cool, but the other just gave off this snotty vibe. The snotty one told my girlfriend that I was rude to her and it seemed all downhill from there. I reminded my gf that the entire interaction took place right in front of her and asked her to point to out how exactly I had been rude to her friend. She couldn't, yet still took her friends side. She later informed me that they both hated me. It was as if she had no interest in me if her friends didn't like me. I asked her if they let her have a say in who they date and she meekly said no as if it had suddenly dawned on her that they didn't. I just can't fathom how anyone would allow anyone, friend or family, have a say in who they date. A girl who lets her friends decide who she dates....isnt ready to date ...is not confident enough in her own mind and heart......i have never allowed a friend to influence a decision on who i want to be with......because that to me is going out with soemoen she wants to date or likes.....i prefer my friends to trust my judgement than give me theirs.....if i am happy they should be happy....if they are not.....theres ulterior motives.....and that to me is a sign of an untrue friend...its a huge sign actually.....my friends always stand behind em and are supportive....this girl is not ready to date you if her friends stand in front of her..and in front of you.i also know that if a friend were to say i dont like this about who you date....i would be able to give a hundred things for her to like...if she still wanted to argue.....which they dont do.....i would consider them a friend who didnt have my best interests at heart...your gf doesnt have true friends in teh first place....she has to recognize that .best wishes..deb
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